LIBRARY OF CONGRESS. 



UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. 



<^l IT IP.f 



COQ\ 



STEPPINGS IN GOD; 



OR, 



m Bill 11 MM ill, 



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By M.^H. M< 



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"A peculiar people, that ye should show forth the praises of Him who 
hath called you out of darkness into His marvellous light. " 




OFFICE OF 
TRIUMPHS OK KAITH, 

260 Connecticut Street, 
Buffalo, N. Y. 



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Copyright by the Author. 

All Rights Reserved. 

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OF Conor Rss 

WA§SIM@¥OK 



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EUctrotypers, Printers and Binders, 
Buffalo, N. Y. 



" U N T D H I M 

that iDVEd us, and ^A/ashBd us frnm nur sins In 

His Dwu "blDDd; and hath made us kings 

and priEsts unto G-nd and His Father; 

tn Him be glnry and dDmininn 

fnrEVEr and eveTj 

Amen." 



TABLE OF CONTENTS. 



Page. 

Introduction ,,...,. . 5 

CHAPTER I. 
CONSECEATION .0,. = , -. = o ,.,,,, c, 7 

CHAPTER II. 

First Steppings in the Light of Life . ,, , , 17 

CHAPTER III. 

Eedeemed from Sin = .. c = ,.,,. = o. o .., , 31 

CHAPTER IV 

Dress and Externals , . . , . , = 42 

CHAPTER V. 
Prayer ......,,.,..., 54 

CHAPTER VI. 

Responsibility 62 

CHAPTER VII. 

Still Pursuing 76 



vi TABLE OF CONTENTS. 

CHAPTER VIII. 

Abandunmbn-t 90 

CHAPTER IX. 

Complete in" Him 106 

CHAPTER X. 

Fan^aticism . , c. 120 

CHAPTER XL 

A Saviour for All , , » , 134 

CHAPTER XIL 

Always More to Follow , » , 140 



INTRODUCTION. 



Some time since I wrote a tract entitled " Life in God." 
It has recently been shown me that I was to rewrite and 
enlarge this tract. I have followed the Lord's leadings, until 
it has reached its present dimensions, and a new title has been 
supplied. 

Although it is a personal experience, the principles brought 
forth are those that are being received by many who would 
" walk as children of the day." 

While professed by all the Church, the principles are mis- 
apprehended and not received by the mass, and, therefore, full 
freedom in testimony is not given. 

As an expose of their views and position, as well as my own, 
I have been led to present the principles that actuate us, and 
exemplify them by recording some of the " Steppings " given 
me in a walk with Him who is the " Light of Life." 

Those who delight to come to a " knowledge of the truth 
as it is in Christ Jesus," will read with interest, and, I trust, 
with profit also. 

Those who are fearful and doubting, I pray may, as they 
read, be strengthened and encouraged to walk in all the 
appointed way with the eye on Jesus only. 



Vlli INTRODUCTION. 

Those who feel disposed to criticise will find ample room f or 
so doing. 

To those who would resist and strive to overthrow or blunt 
the testimony for holy living as therein given, let me say : 
It is God you fight against, and, sooner or later, you will find, 
as did Saul of Tarsus, that '^it is hard to kick against the 
pricks." There may be those who will do this ignorantly, 
thinking thus to do God service. I pray the Father to *^ for- 
give them, for they know not what they do." I leave the tes- 
timony in the hands of Him who called it forth, knowing 
that He will use it, whether by my life or by my death. 

To those who stand with me in the " fellowship of His suffer- 
ings " I would say, " Be strong and of good courage" (1 Josh. ). 
You may be having your last opportunity for witnessing for 
the Truth. You are on the winning side. Error must fall 
before the truth of the Eternal Jehovah. The battle is not 
yours, but God's (2 Chron. 20 : 1?). '' Stand still " and see His 
salvation, or press on to the death, if He so lead you. The 
hundredfold and Everlasting Life are yours. " His right hand 
and His holy arm hath gotten Him the victory" (Psa. 98 : 1). 



(i)1'epping)^ in SJoiL. 



STEPPINGS IN GOD. 



CHAPTER I. 

CONSECRATION. 



"He that followeth Me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the 
Light of Life."— (John 8: 12.) 

Naturally I shrink from revealing to the many my inner 
life, yet as a whole burnt-offering I lie before God, desiring to 
be used in any way possible for His glory. Therefore I speak 
of my experience, trusting thereby to encourage and strengthen 
some timid, inquiring soul in the way of life. 

I do not come before the public as a teacher, but simply 
desire to give free, open testimony for Jesus, and speak of the 
possibilities of G-race, as has been revealed to me in my own 
experience. 

Others who have a broader outlook may be induced to set 
before us the story of their steppings further in the way, and 
thus encourage and help us who are less advanced to come up 
higher. 

The question is often asked by those who would know the 
way more perfectly. How am I to obtain power? God is 
our power. The more we have of G-od the more we have of 
power. We may not see it thus, may not feel it, but God 
does, and in His own time He will make it manifest. We 
must remember *'the kingdom of God cometh not with obser- 



8 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

vation." Then comes the question, " How can I have more of 
God ? " Simply by that faith and obedience which allows God 
to have His way in your whole being and life. 

We step out of the self-life into Him, where Divine power 
can more fully rule us. 

The watchword from Genesis to Eevelation is Oledience — 
an obedience every step of which leads to a life of separation 
for God. 

His people are a separate, a peculiar people (1 Pet. 2 : 9). 

The one lesson we have to learn is, God made us for Him- 
self ; He hy His Spirit dwells luithin us, and would tlierely 
teach us all things. It is the significance of our life to catch 
these teachings and oley. 

Then He, working in us to will and do of His good pleas- 
ure, can lead us as the interests of His Kingdom demand. 

The Scriptures do not authorize us to consider ourselves 
children of God until we do this. I do not say that He does not 
recognize us as children, but until baptised into the Spirit of 
Him who said, "Zo, I come to do Thy toill, my God I " (Heb. 
10 : 9), we may not claim that we are His. 

Christ came to redeem us that we should no longer live after 
the desires of the flesh (1 Pet. 4:2); but being saved in Him 
we are to live unto Him (2 Cor. 5: 15), henceforth having but 
the one aim, viz., the single eye to the will and glory of God 
(Matt. 6: 22). 

Some may say this is placing the standard too high, that 
these demands are too strict. We ask, was not this the posi- 
tion of Jesus ? Does not the Word of God declare that " if 
any man have not the Spirit of Christ he is none of His ? '^ 
(Rom. 8: 9). Was not that Spirit one of perfect obedience ? 

Gladly He gave Himself out thus: "I delight to do Thy 
will." ^^ As many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the 
sons of God " (Rom. 8 : 14). The command is, " Thou shalt 
have no other God before Me." 



CONSECRATION. 9 

Let not followers of Christ plead the apparent laxity on 
some points in the lives of Patriarchs, or failures of Apostles, 
for they were men, whom God was educating, with less light 
and fewer facilities than are open to every Christian now 
living in the unfolding of the centuries. 

Let us use the written Word in our hands, also receiving the 
Living Word, the Holy Spirit, in our hearts, thereto write His 
pleasure, and we shall see that " no other God " means that 
the one God shall engross all our desires (Matt. 22 : 37). 

Many, like the Israelites, seem to go to the altar for a bless- 
ing, and then pass on in utter forgetfulness of the admitted 
claims of God upon them, forgetting that the covenant made 
implies dying with Christ, by which alone we enter into this 
life. The laws regulating the external alone, are no longer 
our only rule, but the law must be written in our hearts (Heb. 
8: 10), regulating our affections, binding our wills, bringing 
all into sweet harmony with the Divine will. Even the 
thoughts are to be brought into obedience to the law of life in 
Christ Jesus (2 Cor. 10: 5). 

The sacrifice offered was only a shadow of what was really 
required, not only of the few, but also of all who expect to 
avail themselves of the salvation offered through Christ. 

The entire being, body and soul, must lie on the altar, a 
perpetual sacrifice. We learn something of this in the first 
chapter of Leviticus. 

The burnt-offering, a type of Christ our Example, was to be 
wholly burnt upon the altar ; all was to be consumed, all was 
to be disposed of as God directed. 

'' There is to be a continual drinking of the cup that He 
shall give. It may be, pleasing drafts will be given. 

AVhat if the cup should prove to be the cup of vinegar 
mingled with gall, it is none the less the cup of blessing, and 
of full and unreserved communion. 

Often and often perhaps He must return, and ask His chosen 



10 steppinCtS in god. 

ones *Are ye able to drink of My cup'? (Mat. 20: 22), before 
that free, calm answer can be given 'VFe are able/ and many 
an offering must be laid on His altar with tears before the 
sacrifices of joy are brought there. 

Shocks will be given to darling nature, and rocks must be 
rent before the dead come forth and are loosed. 

We are to suffer as well as reign. Ah ! suffer many things 
before we shall enter into His glory." 

By bringing all our powers into subjection to Him, to 
follow whithersoever He goeth, we shall find the earnest of the 
full redemption in the continual, though perhaps subdued, 
song of the heart — " The Lord reigneth." 

In Him we rejoice in all our conflicts, and are more than 
conquerors (Rom. 8:37), and yet in and of ourselves we are less 
than the least of all saints. This I find to be the universal 
experience of those who are passing on in the transformation 
and not stopping in experience or doctrine, or longer compar- 
ing themselves among themselves (2 Cor. 10: 12). 

We have become tired of the round of duties that yield no 
life, and now seek that life as found in Christ alone, as the 
Living Word may bring it unto us. 

Miss Greenwell, in the "Patience of Hope," says, "Within 
a few years a change has come, far more gradually than is 
generally supposed, over the climate of the Christian World, 
as if some mighty current like the G-ulf Stream had set in, 
sending a warm breath across the universal Church, and break- 
ing up the deadly ice of unbelief and indifference ; and though 
this change may and will be accompanied with shocks and 
splittings, it is surely the prudent, not the wise. Christian 
who will on this account withdraw himself from its wide, soul- 
enlarging influence." 

From early life I have been a member of an Evangelical 
church, but for years had felt that in my experience the 
claims of Grod were not met. I had come forth from the 



CONSECRATION. 11 

grave of nature, but was bound hand and foot. I asked not 
for the comforts of grace, I sought not a hope of heaven, but 
my one longing desire was to satisfy God. I did not then 
conceive of His looking on me with pleasure and delighting in 
me. Canticles was to me a sealed book, and the promises of 
little worth. I saw that Paul and the early Christians had an 
experience of which I was ignorant. I had life but not the life 
more abundant (John 10 : 10). 

While in the world, the early Christians lived superior to it, 
and their one desire seemed to be to exalt and honor Jesus. 

If I was redeemed, was not this my privilege as well as duty? 

If I loved the Lord with my whole heart, soul and mind, 
would I not live as heartily for Jesus as they did ? Was it thus 
with me ? No. For a long time I watched those eminent in 
the Church, to learn where their loves and hopes really cen- 
tered. Many were the tests I applied to them, eagerly, though 
with seeming indifference ; watching to see how they would 
bear the ordeal, that I might thus come to a knowledge of 
the truth. Many, many are to-day engaged in like investiga- 
tion. Christian, how is it with you ? Do you stand as a 
light in the world ? 

I would occasionally come in contact with those who, in 
various circumstances in life, revealed a power ruling them, 
which to me was a mystery, and what my whole soul longed 
for. This was marked in my mother, and I have often said 
she was the means of saving me from being an'infidel. Oh, ye 
Christian mothers, while you pray for your children's conver- 
sion and sanctification, have the "single eye " in your daily 
life. Whatever the present indication, sooner or later they 
must be saved, if while living thus you take a firm hold upon, 
and rest in, the covenant (Psa. 103 : 17, 18). The following, 
with many other passages, were often brought to my mind 
with great power, "Ye are not your own, ye are bought with 
a price" (1 Cor. 6: 19, 20). "W^hosoever is born of God doth 



12 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

not commit sin " (1 John 3:9). *^Will a man rob God?" 
(Mai. 3: 8). 

They conyinced me that I was not right in the sight of 
God, and my whole being cried out to know the living way. 
I now see that He was not satisfied with my being saved, and 
was calling me to be a disciple, but as yet I had not appre- 
hended the truth or the way. 

After being long bowed in grief because I found not Him 
whom my soul longed for, I met a clergyman to whom I con- 
fided my state, thinking he would at once lead me into the 
light. 

At first he did not seem to know what to say, repeating 
many texts at random ; at length he replied, ^^ You have not 
asked aright," and repeated ^* Ye ask and receive not, because 
ye ask amiss" (James 4: 3). In agony I said, "Do tell me 
how to ask, for I have done so in every way I could think." 
He said, " I don't know, but in some way you do not pray 
aright, the Word proves it, but go on and you will see." 

Oh ye " blind guides" who as hirelings seek to lead and 
feed the flock ! God have mercy upon you ; how many of the 
lambs of the fold have been torn — yea, sacrificed, because of 
your indifference and inefficiency? I do not here refer to the 
faithful shepherds, who love the cross for Jesus' sake, and who 
are willing, if need be, to lay down their lives in His service. 
Had this one, who was professing to stand as in Christ's stead, 
opened to my view the fulness of grace, and shown me that 
all was mine, when I believed and appropriated it (Heb. 4:^ 3), 
I might at once have entered into rest; but as it was I was 
nearly driven to despair. 

After many months I was in conversation with another 
clergyman, a man of God, and told him how long I had sought 
for peace, and failed to find it, because I failed to ask aright, 
and repeated the text that had been branded on my mind, 
when he very abruptly and even sharply said, '^ Stop! what is 



CONSECRATION. 13 

the rest of that text ? ' That ye may consume it on your lusts.' 
Well you know that is not the way you are asking. Let that 
alone — take promises suited to your case." 

Great relief was given me, but I did not yet apprehend 
Christ in His fulness; this could not be until I had consecrated 
all, and I had not yet learned the way — that it was, All for 
^^?(Mal. 3: 10). 

After devising and following every means possible to be 
brought into the right way, and finding all attempts ineffect- 
ual, I determined to give up all formulated creeds and doc- 
trines, take the Bible and live closely by its teachings, cost 
what it would. 

It seemed like a fearful venture, but if the way was therein 
revealed, should I not thus surely find it ? If it was not there, 
and I was following a myth, I wanted to be made aware of the 
fact, then I could dare to fearlessly take my position as a 
skeptic. Here let me say I have deep sympathy for this class 
of individuals, for I was long verging on infidelity, from see- 
ing much in professing Christians that proved to my mind 
that they had not found in their religion a satisfying portion. 

Again my own persistent and ineffectual attempts to find 
what was claimed to be the Christian's portion had led me to 
doubt the reality of the interior spiritual life. 

I was greatly strengthened in reading and studying a work 
entitled " Philosophy of the Plan of Salvation." This book is 
very helpful to a certain class of minds, who are seeking for a 
clearer knowledge of God, whether believers or skeptics. 

In order to come to a full knowledge of the truth, the Word 
must 1)6 tested ly the life. " Then shall ye know if ye follow 
on to know the Lord " (Ho. 6 : 3). 

We must do His will if we would know of the doctrine 
(John 7:17). 

I now saw that *' Looking unto Jesus" (Heb. 12 : 2) was to 
be my motto. *' Have ye so learned Christ ? " (Eph. 4 : 20), the 



14 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

watchword to guide me in the way. I was simply to follow in 
implicit obedience. 

But I said, this will not do in these days ; it will make me 
marked and peculiar in my ways, and that would not honor 
the Lord, for people would see me, not Christ. The word 
came, " What is that to thee, follow thou Me " (John 21 : 22). 
Human nature was the same then as now ; Grod's claims the 
same. Jesus lived thus, and the disciple should be as his 
master (Mat. 10 : 24). His pleasure was to be studied. His 
will in all things to be sought. 

I had sought God externally and intellectually; now receiving 
Jesus as my light and life, I was to let Him live out that life 
in me. Could this be accomplished ? Should I thus prove 
the reality of a religion I had long professed, and decide, by 
an experience of 'my oivn, whether God was a living Father, 
Jesus my Saviour, and the Holy Spirit my guide ? 

I saw that I must dare to meet all He met ; I must be will- 
ing to be rejected, to have my name cast out as evil ; to go 
without the camp, bearing His reproach (Heb. 13 : 13); to be 
classed with a '- peculiar people ;" in a word, I was to do what- 
ever I felt Jesus would if in my place — it was to be " no 
more I." 

Instinctively I shrank from singularity or publicity, and 
could I yield myself to go, I knew not whither ? 

The struggle was severe ; I knew I was taking a step 
never to be retraced, vows never to be broken. The heavens 
seemed as brass, and midnight darkness was within and 
around me, yet grace triumphed and I was enabled to throw 
myself far, far out into God in complete abandonment, 
saying, " Lord, make me wholly, wholly Thine, do with me as 
Thou ivilt:- 

I deeply realized that my whole dependence was in Him, 
although it seemed as if He had abandoned me. If He would 
come, take possession of, and rule my life, all would be well. 



CONSECRATION. 15 

But would He do this ? Was it for me this grace was given ? 
Yes for me — the Word said " whosoever " (Rev. 22 : 17). Could 
I believe ? " Lord, I do believe ; help Thou mine unbelief," 
(Mark 9 : 24). 

Again and again I repeated this, with a plea for forgiveness; 
if I was not all I claimed to be ; ^' Lord, Thou knowest." Yes, 
He did know. He saw the putting of my feet into the Jordan, 
and as I did so the waters parted (Josh. 3 : 13). 

The Israelites could not see the blood on the lintels (Ex. 12 : 
22, 23), but Grod saw it. I could not see the atonement and 
redemptive power, but I knew it was there. 

All I had to do, or could do was to wholly yield myself and 
trust ; to cease trying to realize the promises as true, but to 
admit them as thus, on the simple testimony of God. 

Waiting upon Him a deep, holy hush came through my 
being, and I entered into rest. 

All was left with God, and I realized a full acceptance. I 
had but recently lost my dear but invalid mother and had felt 
that my life-work had been taken from my hands. I now saw 
that my affections were to be transferred to Jesus, and as I had 
risked health and life itself for her, so I would now do this for 
Him if he desired. I was first developed in that which was 
natural, and now all was to be reproduced spiritually. 

Folloiuing on, the Light of Life had come into my soul, and 
I could say '^ Whereas I was blind now I see " (John 9 : 25). 

" Many go through some prescribed course, and because they 
do not find the Lord ^' go away unto their own home ;" but the 
one who loveth much, weepingly tarries, and beholds Him 
whom her soul longed for — hears His voice, and is commis- 
sioned with precious service (John 20 : 10-17)." 

My soul, learn thy lesson, and ever tarry at the appointed 
place, until thy Lord appears, and bids thee go endued with 
power to do His will (Acts 1 : 4, 8). 



16 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

" O ! the bitter shame and sorrow — 
That a time could ever be, 
When I let my Saviour's pity 
Plead in vain — and coldly answered 
All of Self, and None of Thee. 

Yet He found me — I beheld Him, 

Bleeding on the accursed tree ; 
Heard Him cry, ^Forgive them, Father!^ 
And my wistful heart said faintly, 

Some of Self, and Some of Thee. 

Day by day His tender mercy. 

Healing, helping, full and free, 
Sweet and strong, and O ! so tender, 
Brought me lower — while I whispered, 
Less of Self, and More of Thee. 

Higher than the highest heaven ! 

Deeper than the deepest sea ! 
Lord ! Thy love at last has conquered : 
Grant me now my soul's desire, 

None of Self, and All of Thee.'' 



FIEST STEPPINGS INTO THE LIGHT OF LIFE. 17 



CHAPTER II. 

FIRST STEPPINGS INTO THE LIGHT OF LIFE. 

" He giveth power to the faint, and to them that have no might He increas- 
eth strength. "—(Isa. 40: 29.) 

Havin'G surrendered all, the enemy at once said, '^You 
have given away all your liberty; you can never again go out 
or in without permission. Does that become an independent 
mind ? " 

Agonized for a moment, I said, '^Lord, can I take back 
part?" '^Nol nothing. Do you wish to retract?" '^ No, 
Lord, but how caii I do this? I am afraid I shall fail." 
" Can you not trust me ? " " Thou knowest, only keep me ; 
Lord, I do trust thee." Immediately the Comforter said, ^'My 
grace is sufficient for thee " (2 Cor. 12 : 9). How soon He 
began to take of the things of Christ and show them unto me ! 
(John 16 : 14). 

I now realized I was sealed for God (2 Cor. 1: 22; Eph. 4: 30) ; 
set apart for Himself, and livmg by the moment, began to 
look at the right of things and not to their relation to personal 
interests. I could no longer live over the past or look into 
the future, for in so doing I should fail to meet God, as He 
would come into the present moment ; the mission of that 
moment would be lost and His pleasure not done in me as in 
Heaven. I must live earnestly and act promptly in the ever- 
recurring no2u. Madam Guyon says, *^ Living l)y the moment 
is the secret of holy living." 

Christ Jesus was now indeed the chiefest among ten thou- 
sand and the one altogether lovely (Cant, 5: 10, 16). 



18 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

I no longer questioned whether these things were so. I 
knew whom I believed and found Him a satisfying portion. 
He freely bestows the wisdom, power and guidance that 
every son and daughter of Adam needs. 

He who formed the plan of our lives can be the only true 
guide therein, and He is with us moment by moment, to 
develop us according to that plan. Co-operating with Him, 
our lives shall be a success. 

Oh, ye who linger, come to the fountain opened ; accept the 
cleansing offered, and, walking in the Light given, you will 
know the peace that passeth understanding. 

Having entered into covenant to do all the Lord's pleasure 
as it might be made known to me, I v/as in the open way and 
He would lead and supply all needful grace. I believed, and 
have seen the glory of G-od (John 11 : 40). 

I would say to any who may be seeking the way of life, make 
a full surrender of self and all you have to God. Covenant to 
be ohediejit to Him in all things ; trust Him to keep you in a 
spirit of obedience, and moment by moment walk in the 
light of the moment. He will in His own time and way fill 
you with the Holy Ghost. His time and His way may not be 
as you may choose, and His voice may seem sharp and pierc- 
ing, even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit (Heb. 4: 12), 
yet in entire abandonment continue to wait upon and trust 
Him, and it shall come to pass that at evening-time it shall be 
light (Zech. 14: 7). 

Let us look at Christ's example. 

He laid aside His glory to come down, doioyi to meet us. 
He came not seeking position or worldly honors, but as a 
servant to minister, hut it was not appreciated. He was even 
reviled for so doing. We are to go forth in service, giving our 
powers, "hoping for nothing again " (Luke 6: 35). What did 
He not suffer for the Truth's sake ! He asks, " What could 



FIRST STEPPINGS INTO THE LIGHT OF LIFE. 19 

have been done more to My vineyard, that I have not done in 
it ? " (Isa. 5 : 4). Yet He was despised and rejected of men. 
"It is enough for the disciple that he be as his Master" (Matt. 
10: 25). His reputation was gone. " He hath a devil and is 
mad" (John 10: 20), but was His power weakened ? Was it 
not thus that Grod within Him had the more perfect control ? 
" Not by might, nor by power, but by My Spirit," saith the 
Lord (Zech. 4: 6). Is it not by walking in the Spirit, by los- 
ing sight of all but Him, that the same power works in and 
through us ? " I came not to do Mine oion loill, hut the will of 
Him that sent Jfe" (John 6 : 38). Here is our teaching : He 
marks the way, and if in following our Leader the wisdom 
that we have called our own has to be laid aside, shall we grieve 
or question ? If we would save our lives we shall certainly 
lose them, but if we are willing to lose them for His dear sake, 
we shall save them everlastingly (John 12: 25). ISTot only shall 
Ave save them, but, abiding in the Vine, we shall have fruitage 
(John 15: 5). Let us enter all the states of our Lord and 
gladly die the death, and we shall ere long come forth into full 
resurrection Hfe and glory; and this life andglory I would not 
put far oif, but daily making the most of the exercises given in 
the Spirit, we shall ere long apprehend all that is brought to 
us in Christ, "not unclothed, but clothed upon," of Him who 
brought life and immortality to light (2 Cor. 5 : 4). 

John G.Whittier says of truly devout souls: " The bent and 
stress of their testimony is the same, whether written in this 
or a past century, by Catholics or Quakers ; self-renunciation — 
reconcilement to the Divine Will, through simple failh in the 
Divine goodness, and the love of it which must needs follow 
its recognition — the life of Christ made our own by self-denial 
and sacrifice, and the fellowship of His sufferings for the good 
of others — the indwelling Spirit leading into all truth, and 
the Divine Word nigh us even in our hearts. 

They have little to do with creeds, or schemes of Doctrine, 



20 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

or the partial and inadequate plans of salvation invented by 
human speculation and ascribed to Him who — it is sufficient 
to know — is able to save to the uttermost all who trust in Him. 
They insist upon simple faith and holiness of life rather than 
rituals or modes of worship. 

They leave the merely formal ceremonials and temporal part 
of religion to take care of itself, and earnestly seek for the 
substantial, the necessary and the 'permanent.''^ 

Holiness at that day was at a low ebb in all the churches, 
so that wherever I went the chilling monosyllable or sharp 
retort were too often given. Trying as this was, I now praise 
Grod for it. I was thus driven to God and enabled to live 
more recollected in Him, and many a rich lesson of grace I 
received. The valley of Achor became a door of hope and 
there I learned to know the Lord more perfectly (Hosea 2: 14-20). 
I needed this discipline ; love and gratitude always well up in 
my heart as I regard His faithfulness in chastening me. Many 
timid, hesitating ones give themselves out in desires for a holy 
life and yet are not willing to pay the cost, not realizing that 
experience in overcoming difficulties and seeming obstacles is 
what gives the holy daring, Christian fortitude and patience 
needful in the Christian Warfare. 

We must know that the '^all things " are not for those who 
have the easy way in life, or those who by nature are most 
lovely, but to ^^him that overcometh." "It is not ease but 
effort, not facility but difficulty that makes men." We not 
only bring our energies to God, but with force of purpose are 
to use those energies as He directs. It is then we will know 
the voice, the power and the guidance, and will "go from 
strength to strength." "^ The way of the Lord is strength to 
the upright '' (ProY. 10: 29). 

Upon an ancient battle-crest is inscribed a pickaxe and the 
motto : " I will find a way or make one," which is an expression 
of practical materialism that has made many a man. 



FIRST STEPPINGS INTO THE LIGHT OF LIFE. 21 

The symbol of the cross, with '^I can do all things through 
Christ which strengtheneth me " (Phil. 4: 13), is expressive of 
the life and power that rules one who dwells in God. 

In studying Christ, we see there is much of outward silence, 
and we learn that, in order to have the operations of the Holy 
Ghost realized in the soul, the fleshly activities must be stilled. 
Therefore let us so far as we may heed the injunction " Let 
thy words be few." How often to my sorrow have I learned 
that " in a multitude of luords there loantetli not sin" Words 
feed thoughts and would often lead us from the abandonment 
of soul which God at that time may have called for, and thus 
not only may many moments be dissipated, but we may lose 
a commission to some important service. In a new and 
deeper sense we may then sing '^ Prone to wander, Lord, I 
feel it." 

Fenelon says '^ Speak only when obliged to ... . Only 
be faithful in keeping silence when it is not necessary to speak 
and God will send grace to preserve from dissipation when 
it is." 

Our Divine Leader, when accused or misrepresented, " an- 
swered never a word," although by answering He might 
have saved His life (Mat. 27 : 14). 

It was a rule of that devout servant of God, Herman Frank e, 
to " never make the things of this luorld a subject of conversa- 
tion, except ivhen God may he honored, or good done to our 
neighbor thereby.''' 

Ceasing from our own words, no more doing our own pleas- 
ure, we enter upon the Sabbath of Best and all that is typical 
in Isa. 58 : 13, becomes ours. 

In following these teachings we may be disinclined to go 
into society, or enlarge our circle of friends, but we can resist 
God in nothing. Where He calls we cheerfully go, or freely 
speak, doing all as service unto Him. To know the Lord's 
will and do it is service. 



22 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

Another safeguard to me was the saying of one of the 
fathers " Go not where you have no need;'^ this teaching has 
often held me in the straight and narrow way and been very 
helpfuL 

That I may be faithful in opening the truth, as to the step- 
pings and helps in the way, I must speak of fasting and prayer, 
as having been of inestimable value. At first these days were 
always seasons of great conflict, revealing much of self-striv- 
ing for the ascendancy. Thoughts also that were perfectly 
abhorrent crowded in upon me, but pressing all into God I was 
thus greatly assisted into interior silence. 

Satan often seemed to have the field — the heavens as of 
brass and to intense degree I would suffer being tempted, but 
Christ the way of escape never leaves the trusting soul (1 Cor. 
10 : 13). One has said, " No heart can have so true a sense of 
the sufferings of Christ, as that which has suffered in the same 
way." 

The day following these seasons of fasting was always one 
of glorious victory and I would in increased measure realize 
of the fulness of God. 

As the self-life became more extinct I ceased to have these 
conflicts and was no longer blessed in this form of service, only 
as the Lord might especially call me to it, whether for myself 
or for others. 

The early Christians observed these days even after the 
Pentecostal baptism— how much more necessary is it for us in 
these days of skepticism and error. The enemies of the soul 
naturally abhor fasting, but if the Church stands with them in 
this and fails to mortify the affections, I fear it will fail 
to *^ see the King in his beauty" or '^ behold the land that is 
very far off." For the flesh must be subject to the Spirit, 
before spiritual things can be discerned. A writer has said, 
" The believer, as he advances in self-knowledge, learns to 
bless those piercing yet enlightening experiences of his own 



FIRST STEPPINGS INTO THE LIGHT OF LIFE. 23 

weakness, which as it were let daylight within his whole 
spiritual being. He finds many things within him pitiable 
rather than sinful, hindrances from which he longs to free 
himself, yet learns even in these to recognize his true, though 
humble, friends and helpers. ' Him they compel to bear the 
cross.' " 

If one is ready to follow Grod, he will by the Spirit be taught 
the way by which he may most readily be brought into sub- 
jection to Deity and " The luilling and obedient shall eat the 
good of the land " (Isa. 1 : 19). 

Some of the children of God, on receiving the baptism of 
the Spirit, cease to partake of the Lord's Supper, believing that 
the ordinance was only to be observed *' till He come," and 
they assert He has come to them, and therefore they do not 
require it, but as never before do I bless God for this service, 
not merely as a remembrancer, but a means for partaking 
more largely of the "life more abundant." In 1 Cor. 11 : 29, 
30, we are taught that many failing " to discern the Lord^s 
iody" Sire made sickly and ^'^many sleep." If the ^^ Body" 
was duly apprehended might we not more fully enter upon the 
resurrection life, whereby soul and body might alike partake 
of the living power. Then, too, would there not be a stronger 
influence in behalf of using pure juice of the grape in this 
Holy Sacrament, instead of the poisonous concoction called 
Wine, in which Satan lurks to entrap the weak ? Our noble 
band of Temperance workers tell us, that many a "rescued 
one," in going to "the table" to receive a "savor of life 
unto life," have found it to be of " death unto death." 

Dear ones, let us cease from all ordinances that are held m 
the letter, receiving in the Spirit only. Doing thus we leave 
our weakness, and take the life and strength of God. 

Miss Smiley, in speaking of partaking of Christ in the 
Eucharist, says, '^ Is it real, or only ideal ? Is the cup a testi- 
mo7iy or a testament ? And if He indeed gives aught, as we 



24 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

receive aught, what is it, and in what manner is it given and 
received? The Scriptures make answer, that Christ, our Pass- 
over, gives us Himself — that is. He gives us His Spirit and 
gives us His flesh and His blood.'' I had formerly spent much 
time in self-examination, but now learned that the secret of 
holy living, was to watch the Lord and seek His pleasure. 
This gave no time for introspection, through which many 
lose spiritual power and give room to discouragement and 
also feed doubts and fears. One has said, " We never watch 
so diligently over ourselves, as when we walk in the presence 
of God, as He commanded Abraham." The Psalmist says, 
" My steps are ever toioard the Lord'^ (Ps. 25 : 15). 

It is said of one of the Holy Brotherhood, who ever sought 
to walk in the presence of God, that when he had finished a 
duty, he sought to know how he had discharged it; if well, he 
returned thanks, if otherwise, he implored pardon, and with- 
out being discouraged, set his mind right, and pressed on 
again in his exercise of the presence of God, as if he had never 
deviated from it. Thus he went on, until he was enabled in 
the greatest perplexities and hurry ever to keep in a recollected 
frame. 

He was never hasty or loitering, but did everything in its 
season with an uninterrupted composure and tranquility of 
spirit. He says,^' The time of business does not difi"er from the 
time of prayer, and in the noise and clatter of my kitchen, 
while several persons are at the same time calling for different 
things, T possess God in as great tranquility as if I were on my 
knees at the Blessed Sacrament." " Unto this day, when Moses 
is read, the veil is upon their heart, but when it shall turn to 
the Lord, the veil shall be taken away " (2 Cor. 3: 15, 16). 

The precious prayer, '- Search me, God, and know my 
heart, try me and know my thoughts, and see if there be any 
wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting " (Psa. 



FIRST STEPPINGS INTO THE LIGHT OF LIFE. 25 

139 : 23, 24), is likely to bring testing, for His delight is to 
reveal to us any soul blemish. 

As we watch for the answer, He may bring evil to light. If 
we shrink from His searching eye, we readily detect weakness 
and danger, and may not relinquish the point, until we can 
heartily and pleadingly cry, '' Search me, God " etc. 

"Tis thus we come forth clothed in His beauty and strong 
as an army with banners (Cant. 6: 4). 

There will often be a conflict between the flesh and tlie spirit 
when cares and necessities press upon us, but receiving all as 
from the Lord we will triumph, and gain mighty uplifts into 
God. All He asks is the abiding in Him (John 15: 7). We 
may never question why certain experiences are given to us 
while others are exempt. 

A loving, obedient heart will receive all with '' Not my will 
but Thine be done," and see His will in the present discipline 
given. In the language of another," We need the perfect trust, 
which will not only say ' Thy will be done,' but is satisfied 
when it is done." That will not only say, " Give us this day 
our daily bread," but will also eat the bread Avhen it is given. 

Upham's definition of resignation, " a perfect coincidence 
of the finite mind with the Infinite," has often been a source 
of strength to me. I applied it to present providences and 
in the most trivial things in life, and clearness on these points 
rendered many others clear. 

Mahan says, '' When Christ is in us, external tribulations 
will have no more power to approach our sensibilities and dis- 
turb the deep rest of our spirits in Him, than the hosts of 
Syrians had to break through the fiery circle which sur- 
rounded the prophet of God. 

But if Christ be not in us, the Avorld within, with its war- 
ring lusts, carking cares and bewildering perplexities, will 
make our sensitive nature its perpetual prey, and sin wilJ 
reign in our mortal bodies." 
3 



26 ISTEPPINGS IN GOD. 

If one will live in the light of God, he may have the cares 
of a Paul and not be overcome (2 Cor. 11 : 23, 30). 

Thanks be unto God who giveth us the victory, through 
our Lord Jesus Christ (1 Cor. 15: 57). 

The Bible now became inexpressibly dear to me, as re- 
vealing so much of the will and pleasure of Him who was 
more to me than life. '' Thy words were found and I did eat 
them and Thy word was unto me the joy and rejoicing of my 
heart." For many months after being sealed for God, it was 
my constant habit upon taking the Word to read, to hold it 
closed before the Lord until I had asked the Spirit, who was 
my Teacher, to silence all opinions of my own, destroy all 
prejudices and write on my heart what He meant who in- 
dited the Word, that it might thus be to my soul a direct 
message from God, and thus, as it were, bring the Spirit from 
the depths to the surface, where I might meet Him. The 
plain simple English of the text would open in a beautiful 
manner, until it became to my soul the Living Word. When 
I walked, it led me, when I slept, it kept me, and when I 
waked, it talked with me (Prov. 6 : 22). 

It has been my guide, my staff, my bread, my counsellor 
and my comfort all through my pilgrimage. I have never 
been free to follow out theories, but only to seek a closer 
walk with God, and this walk I have found to be by the way 
of the Cross. 

If we would abide with Jesus we may be called to go with 
Him, where self says '^ Impossible," but He must be allowed 
to lead as He- will, and " Whatsoever He saith " unto us, we 
must do. Our covenant demands this. We can do all things 
through Christ strengthening us (Phil. 4: 13). Only let us 
step in the divine moment, just when He steps, no laggard 
movements or hasty runnings before and all is well. In Him 
we live and move; also He in us works ^Ho will and to do of 
His good pleasure." 



FIEST STEPPINGS INTO THE LIGHT OF LIFE. 27 

Recognizing this, we live superior to all our spiritual foes. 
Depending on God to show us His pleasure, instinctively, as it 
were, we may usually know what to do and what not to do. 

When, however, the way has been obscure, patiently and 
lelievingly waiting in God, all would in His own blessed time 
be made clear. The unwavering testimony of the faithful is, 
that '^ God is faithful to His promises." With the upright 
thou wilt show thyself upright" (Ps. 18: 25). 

The pressure often comes upon us, and feeling that we can 
not wait, we incline to direct our own steps, depending on 
God to bless us as we go, but I have learned that a hurried 
spirit is of the enemy, and when feeling thus, is just the time 
to wait on God, lest we be misled, or perhaps be overcome of 
evil. 

As soon as I had an intimation of His will, cost what it 
might, I pressed on into it, and soon found Him to be the way. 
In Him I found truth, and from Him I desired a new life 
(John 14: 6). 

Well do I remember how cheeringly the truth one day came 
to me, that Christ was the way, and walking in Him I could 
not wander into by-paths. 

Though the steppings be in intense darkness, and He may 
go we know not whither, and all our nature may be convulsed 
as we follow Him, yet through the *^rent veil" we shall behold 
the Holy of Holies and more fully apprehend the truth. 
Some one says, " We no longer labor among admirable, but 
mysterious, shadows of the good things to come, but we have a 
living model, the word of truth. 

Jesus Christ is the Way in which we must walk, the Truth 
by which we are taught, and the Life by which we live. In 
Him we have the substance, of which the ancient fathers had 
but the shadow. 

If they entered upon the interior life, how much more incum- 



28 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

bent is it upon Christians to do so, who are permitted to 
handle as it were the body and blood of the Lord Jesus." 

The promise that the Holy Ghost should ^^ dwell " in me, 
''teach " me, and ''show "me "things to come" (John 14: 
17, 26; 16: 13), had hitherto been hidden, but to the praise 
of His dear Name I love to say, that He came into my being 
all unperceived, teaching, leading, restraining, comforting and 
upholding me, pressing home promises appropriate to my 
passing need, enabling me sweetly to lie down and rest, or 
boldly to walk out upon them, and thus learn more of His 
all suffering. 

Gradually I awoke to the fact that I was feeding upon the 
old corn of the land (Josh. 5 : 12), and He was fulfilling 
Scripture concerning me. 

Every place that the sole of my foot trod upon He was 
giving me, and I was " more than conqueror " (Josh. 1: 3). 

I did not always see victory. Oftentimes there was seeming 
defeat, yet I had walked in the way my Guide had opened, 
and God sees victory in every act of loving obedience. The 
word is, "whatsoever He doeth shall prosper" (Psa. 1: 3). 
One warm afternoon — August, 1879 — I was led to take my 
pen. Looking to the Lord for needful help, I wrote what 
had been given me to say, but there were so many defects I 
felt that I must rewrite ; again there was failure. 

It seemed as if I must be wrong, and I looked to see if the 
work could be laid aside; but, no! I then sought most 
earnestly for Divine aid and for an especial inspiration so 
long as the work was of, for and unto Him, but the more 
intense was my prayer the more defective was my work. 

Tea time came ; I could see nothing accomplished. With 
a burdened heart I waited on the dear Lord, to see why that 
laborious and seemingly misspent afternoon had been given. 
After a little time of silent waiting the words were given, "suffer- 
ing being tempted." Light at once came in. I said to myself, 



riEST STEPPINGS INTO THE LIGHT OF LIFE. 29 

^^ Jesus suffered thus, and can I not watch with llim the one 
hour?'' (Mark 14: 37). Gladness at once filled my soul; 
I tri umpired in God. Soon it again came to me, " suffering- 
being tempted/' and waiting for an interpretation, I saw that 
I had erred in regarding this service lost. When God's own 
Word had assured me that while walking in the light, what- 
soever I did should '^prosper," God had a purpose in filling 
the afternoon as He had ; that should satisfy me. 

Neither word or work could return to Him void, and 
inasmuch as it should accomplish what He designed 
(Isa. 55: 11), I should hy faitli see He had given me '^good 
success" (Josh. 1: 8). It was a j)recious lesson, through 
which I was afterwards enabled so to trust God as never to see 
failure ivhile ivalhing in the Spirit, and I praise Him for the 
exercise of faith given me that afternoon. 



As sweeps the strong, swift river-tide 

On to the mighty sea, 
The currents of my mil would hide 

And lose themselves in Thee ; 
As turns the needle to the pole, 

Changeless from hour to horn*, 
So God-ward moves my willing soul, 

Drawn by Thy grace and power. 

I stand amid life's vanished joys 

That once were held so dear. 
As children 'mid their broken toys 

When love has dried each tear ; 
While every cross before me set, 

And every heaven-sent pain, 
Bids me the former things forget, 

And count my loss but gain. 



30 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

Oh ! Father-Heart, on which I lean, 

So tender and so strong, 
Each new touch of Thy rod must mean 

A note in heaven's "new song;" 
I would not mar that wondi'ous strain 

Which all the saved shall sing, 
By murmuring o'er the passing pain 

This little life can bring. 

I would rejoice forever more. 

And live in ceaseless prayer. 
And still with thankful heart adore 

The Christ whose name I bear ; 
And when the last, glad hour shall come, 

That brings me rest and heaven— 
Thy child shall praise Thee, safe at home, 

For all which Thou hast given." 



EEDEEMED FKOM SIN. 31 



CHAPTER III. 

EEDEEMED FROM SIN. 

" Sin shall not have dominion over you, for ye are not under law but 
under grace." — (Rom. 6 : 14.) 

Glorious truth ! Freedom from the dominion of sin — 
this is salvation. 

In proportion as I came into the light my view of the 
dreadful nature of sin deepened. Temptations constantly 
pressed me. Mistaking them for sin, I felt^ that the more I 
loved Christ the more I sinned against Him. I was grieved, 
to the heart and at times well-nigh crushed because of this, 
and prayed most earnestly to be delivered. 

I begged the Lord to only chide and reprove, thinking this 
would impart a quickening power, and I thus be helped ; but, 
no ! the more I plead the more He smiled into my soul. 
Not understanding this, I cried out, ^^ wretched man that 
I am, who shall deliver me ? " 

One day I asked my pastor how it was that God gave us 
natures that obliged us to sin and then laid the curse on us 
for sinning. It seemed irreverent to speak thus, but I was 
desperate and would expose the entire wound, that I might 
thereby gain the perfect cure. In the course of his remarks 
he said, " Temptation is not sin. Carnal desire, when it hath 
' conceived,' when it is allowed to rest, bringeth forth sin, 
(Isa. 1: 15), but when it is hated and resisted we but suffer 
being tempted. Jesus suffered thus, and yet without sin" 
(Heb. 4: 15). A flood of light came into my being. I knew 
I had not for an instant known anything approaching com- 



32 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

plicity with any evil. I hated with intense hatred everything 
that did not tend towards Grod, and my whole being was on 
the stretch for a knowledge of His will. 

I saw at a glance that the Beloved had taken me into fellow- 
ship with His sufferings (1 Pet. 4: 13), and I was filled with 
joy commensurate to the sorrow, and could ^' count it all joy" 
that the temptation and testings were given (Isa. 1: 2). 

I was not sinning, not grieving my blessed Lord. No ! 
He had kept that which I had committed to Him (2 Tim. 1 : 12). 
Thus was opened to me the precious truth, " He that abideth 
in me sinneth not " (1 John 3 : 6). Finney says, " I have 
long been satisfied that the higher forms of Christian experi- 
ence are attained only as a result of a terribly searching 
application of G-od's law to the human conscience and heart." 

Sure am I that my own experience would verify this asser- 
tion. Having placed all I had on the altar of sacrifice, I felt 
that my life must be squared by the law, indicative of God's 
pleasure. This brought many enemies to light that must be 
overcome before I could inherit the '' all things " (Rev. 21: 7). 

The command is, ^^Walk before Me and be thou perfect" 
(Gen. 17 : 1). " Me " — not the people. ^' Do you say this is 
law ? Very well, but the Spirit gave it to me in grace also. 
He sees perfection of love and life when "she hath done what 
she could" (Mark U: 8). 

I find the point to be gained is, to have the will with God 
regardless of feeling. Self claims '' feeling." God says 
" faith." 

Though I gave myself to be baptized into Christ's death, 
and numbered myself among those to whom it is said, ''For 
ye are dead, and your life is hid tuitli Christ in God^^ 
(Col. 3: 3), yet I have learned that we do not at once come 
through the reality of death into full resurrection life. 

"In crucifixion there was not instant death ; there was the 
driving of the nails, the bleeding, the exhaustion from hunger 



REDEEMED FROM SIN. 33 

and thirst, until the full death came on. Paul acknowledges 
that he was not dead, neither was he perfected on all points 
(Phil. 3: 12). ''I die daily "(1 Cor. 15: 31). ^'Let us there- 
fore as many as be perfect be thus minded." 

Rev. Andrew Jukes says, ^' The faith that you can come to 
Europe in ten days, and that if you take a ticket all is done 
for you, is a very different thing from the voyage itself, and 
the actual experience of crossing the Atlantic ; and just so 
the joy of faith in Christ, that you are already perfect, is not 
the same thing as the experience of being made perfect through 
suffering, even as He was. This, and this only, is the royal 
road." But what if I am wrong and do not see my way 
rightly ? "If in any thing ye be otherwise minded, God shall 
reveal even this unto you " (Phil. 3 : 15). " I will instruct 
thee, and teach thee in the way that thou shalt go" (Psa. 32 : 8). 

We are to claim and expect the leading, and shall have it, 
provided the separation for God is full and complete. 

We are complete in Him (Col. 2 : 10), and rich and poor 
may alike bask in the sunshine of the promises. 

"The meek will He guide in judgment" (Psa. 25: 9). " H. 
W. S." says, " Sanctification is not a state, so much as a walk, 
and every moment of that walk we need the Spirit's presence, 
as much as we did at first. 

If failure ever comes, it wall be from a want of consecration, 
or a want of trust. It is never either the strength of om- 
en emies, nor our own weakness that causes us to fall." 

As we begin to listen to God, we shall find that we have a 
living God to speak to our consciousness. In the most untoward 
or trival circumstances, and when least expected. He will 
voice Himself, and we shall see the force of the command 
'* Watch " (Mat. 24 : 42). I seemed to have been ushered into 
a new world. The principles and aims that governed my 
life were new to me, opening riches of grace, and upholding 



34 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

by a power hitherto unknown, but, more than all, I was now 
freed from condemnation. 

My desire had been granted ; I now felt that .God was 
satisfied with me, as I abode in Christ, and I was ^^more than 
conqueror;" continually I could sing! 

" The peace of Christ makes fresh my heart, 
A fountain ever springing." 

For a time I was puzzled to know how to reconcile the 
texts concerning sin, but the truth gradually came to me that 
Solomon's words in 2 Chron. 6 : 36, and Ec. 7 : 20, were rightly 
said of those in whom the Spirit did not abide, He having 
not yet been given. 

In Rom. 3 : 10, we see that it is man in his natural state 
that is spoken of. " All have 'sinned, and come short of the 
glory of God." " There is none that seeketh after God," but 
of the Christian it is said, "He that abideth in Him sinneth 
not." 

In redeeming us to Himself, Christ does not destroy our 
personality, but gives a new life, through the incoming of the 
Holy Ghost. Then we have new desires, new hopes and joys, 
and the fruit of our lives, instead of being unto death, is unto 
life eternal. Bonar says, " The Holy Spirit is not the same as 
the New Man, nor does He make in us a new personality, but 
occupies us in every part, and in occupying, transforms and 
purifies. 

Thus we live through the vitality of another, become 
strong through the strength of another. His wisdom and 
holiness become ours, and we think, feel, and act, through 
the energy of another. Hence the apparent contradiction, 
" I live— yet not I." 

Our temperaments remain unchanged, but the evil propen- 
sities are destroyed and the bent of all our affections is turned 
Godward. 



KEDEEMED FROM SIN. 35 

J'here is a divine purpose in every individual being con- 
stituted as he is, and when we will let Christ take us, just as 
we are, and live through us just as He will. He can accomplish 
His purpose, and through us hasten the latter-day glory. I 
would not say that I live without sin ; I do not recognize the 
I. It is, " No more /, but Christ that liveth in me." 

" The good in which I now rejoice, 
Is Thine, and only Thine." 

Why should any seek for goodness in themselves ? Christ 
declared that only God was good. We see and deeply feel our 
imperfections and are tempted to bemoan ourselves, but we 
may not tarry a moment thus. Precious time is allotted us 
that we may cease from self, crowd out of the imperfections 
and sius into G-od, and by taking in more of the Christ, are 
to press onward to the mark. 

Kept by Him from evil, even the tendencies that might 
give occasion to sin are overcome, and where sin abounded 
grace much more abounds (Rom. 5 : 20). 

"The son of the bondwoman shall not be heir with the son 
of the free woman " (Gal. 4 : 30). " Thanks be unto God who 
giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ " (1 Cor. 
15 : 57). 

Let us not speak of latent, or original sin, for we have left 
it all with Christ. He hath put away sin by the sacrifice of 
Himself (Heb. 9: 26). 

We stand before God complete in Christ. As Christ died 
unto sin once for us, and now liveth unto God, let us ^' reckon 
ourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, and alive unto God 
through Christ Jesus" (Hom. 6: 11). In Christ there is per- 
fect redemption. The one work of life is to make this re- 
demption fully ours. 

St. Augustine says, '^ And I inquired what iniquity was. 



36 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

and found it to be no substance, but the perversion of man's 
will from Thee the Supreme toward lower things." 

The Theological G-ermanica has this : '^ The Scripture, the 
faith and the truth say sin is naught else but that the creature 
turneth away from the unchangeable good, and betaketh itself 
to the changeable, that it turneth away from the perfect to 
that which is imperfect, and most often to itself." ^^ The 
latu of the Sjnrit of Life in Christ Jesus hath made me free 
from the laiv of sin and death (Romans 8: 2). What a 
redemption ! . 

We are brought into freedom by the promise, given long be- 
fore the law, which has " been a schoolmaster to bring us to 
Christ," '^ but after faith has come, we -are no longer under a 
schoolmaster" (Gal. 3 : 17, 25). 

Many profess that faith has come, but only those who live 
in "' the Spirit of Life," and are delivered from the legalism of 
carnal commandments, can be judged by the " Law of the 
Spirit of Life "(Rom. 8). "Ye are not under the law but 
under grace " (Rom. 6 : 15). It is wondrous teaching that " if 
the Spirit of G-od dwell in us," we are no longer reckoned in the 
flesh (Rom. 8 : 9). 

The. penalty of the law has not only been met in Christ 
(Heb. 9 : 26), but the righteousness of the law is fulfilled if we 
walk in the Spirit (Rom. 8 : 4). Receiving this truth, let us 
" awake to righteousness and sin not" (1 Cor. 15 : 34). 

" Shall we continue in sin that Grace may abound ? God 
forbid ! How shall we that are dead to sin live any longer 
therein ?" (Rom. 6 : 1). 

If we allow our wisdom and skepticism to oppose this 
teaching, do we not make God a liar ? The blessing is ours in 
proportion as faith appropriates it. '^ If we walk in the light, 
as He is in the light, . . . the blood of Jesus Christ 
His Son cleanseth us from all sin" (1 John 1 : 7). Some af- 
firm, that those who hold these views, think they are infal- 



REDEEMED FROM SIN. 37 

lible. We claim infallibility for God only ; walking in Him 
we may not question our course. 

For a long time I opposed the term perfection as applied to 
the Christian character^ not making a distinction between 
applying this term to us as individuals and to our state in 
Christ, but is it not a Bible term ? 

What is a Christian but one who follows Christ ? Does He 
ask us to follow beyond our present capacity ? Will He be 
satisfied with our doing less than this ? Will Love allow 
of our being aught else than a perfect follower, though an 
humble one ? 

We are far from faultless in our own and others' estimation, 
and have to acknowledge imperfections inadvertently ren- 
dered, and in deep self-abasement seek to be freed from every 
spot and wrinkle, whether manifest or otherwise. 

Our prayer is, " Forgive us our trespasses,^' " That which 
I see not teach Thou me," and, in His own blessed time and 
way, truth after truth is presented, revealing our weakness, 
and spiritual foes, as we are able to bear it. 

He gives light to our present capacity for receiving : " I have 
many things to say unto you, but ye cannot bear them now." 
When we are made to see an evil or a truth is manifested to 
us, we are responsible for that light and sin if we heed it not. 

Thus our character is being perfected in Christ, though our 
state was made perfect before God the moment we accepted 
the atonement offered. 

If those who mourn their sins and shortcomings, though 
seemingly living sanctified lives, would simply rest in perfect 
faith in the atonement, regardless of experiences, their light 
would soon break forth as the morning, and their sorrows 
would be soon turned to joy. 

There is a class who say, " We have no sin," and come not 
to the Fountain opened for their cleansing. May God have 
mercy on them ! 



38 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

We are asked, '''Do you make no mistakes ?" God sees no 
mistakes in the life of the fully obedient one who is trusting 
Him. 

While our present capacity is fully yielded to God, we can- 
not watch our ways and seeming mistakes— I say seeming- 
mistakes, for, many times, what have appeared to be such 
have proved to be of richest good and could not, without loss, 
have been left out of our lives. 

Seeking to walk fully in the light of God, He will regulate 
and control all as shall be for His glory. 

Failing to apprehend Christ, and walking in our own wis- 
dom, we often " call evil good, and good evil." 

"Ill that He blesses is our good, 
And unblest good is ill, 
And all is right that seems most wrong, 
If it be His sweet will." 

Baptized into His spirit, can we ever show resentment? 
" He opened not His mouth." Can we report evil of others 
or speak of any ill-treatment we may have received ? (1 Cor. 
13 : 7). " Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with 
good." While being tested on these points, the text, " Thou 
God seest me/^ has often been to me as a tower of defense, into 
which I have retired and been saved from spiritual foes. 

If the interests of Christ, however, demand that we should 
speak of evil manifested in another, we cannot be true to Him 
or to our covenant vows and withhold it. Our lips are the 
Lord's. He must close or use them when He will. If our 
words and ways are acceptable, it is all of God, for it is 
He that wrought in us to will and to do. If we are repulsed, 
we are to rejoice, being made partakers of Christ's sufferings 
(1 Pet. 4: 14). 

Passing on thus, we necessarily obey the injunction, **As 
ye go, preach" (Matt. 10: 7). 



KEDEEMED FKOM SIN. 39 

It is not enough in our abandonment that our wills are held 
in (jrod, but our love must be perfected. 

" Love is the fulfilling of the law " (Rom. 13 : 10). This is the 
guiding star, and not will. " He that dwelleth in Love dwell- 
eth in God " (John 4 : 16). Not so with the will, for we act 
according to our apprehension of right or wrong. Paul's will 
was fixed for God, and he verily thought he was engaged in 
His service, while persecuting the Christians (Acts 26: 9-11), 
and, under a like hallucination, rivers of blood were poured 
forth in the middle agas. 

The inquisition was thus called forth and sustained. 

Danger always lies in our path when we become deficient in 
love. Human nature is as likely to be overcome of evil now 
as at any previous age. 

Our only safety lies in being made perfect in love, for He 
that is made perfect in love is made perfect in God. 

" Though I have the gift of Prophecy, and understand all 
mysteries, and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so 
that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I 
am nothing ; and though I bestow all my goods to feed the 
poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not 
charity, it profiteth me nothing" (1 Cor. 13: 2, 3). 

Thus danger lies before every one, for the enemy is 
ever ready to take advantage of our weaknesses and to 
lead us astray. Our wrestling is not against flesh and blood 
(Eph. 6: 12). 

We have need to try the spirits. The ardent, impetuous 
soul, failing to properly heed this, often presses into error. 
The investigating mind is inclined to great liberty in reading 
or seeking knowledge (as was that of Eve), often thus losing 
sight of Christ, and so may be tempted to partake of forbidden 
fruit. The humble conscientious one is chafed, and led to 
much that the Lord does not impose. 

Let us ever remember that looking unto Jesus is our safe- 



40 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

guard, and the j^romise sure. We mnst walk firmly, not stop- 
ping in our onward course till the goal of perfection is reached 
in redemption of body, soul and spirit. 

A short time since I met a lady who seemed very earnestly 
desiring to be fully obedient to the will of God, and ready to 
follow at any cost if she but knew the way. Sometimes she 
felt she had a confession to make, and it had been before her 
for over a year. I said. Why do you not make it ? The 
teaching is, " Confess your faults one to another " (Jas. 5 : 16), 
and it often helps one wondrously in the way by bringing them 
low before God, into the place of blessing." I found, how- 
ever, that by so doing she would expose a hidden evil without 
good results and probably cause much sorrow to an injured 
party who was wholly unaware of the facts. She had prayed 
so much about it, to learn whether the pressure on her was of 
God or whether it was Satan annoying her, that her mind had 
become morbid, so that she was incapable of discerning the 
Lord's will. 

I told her it seemed very clear "that it was the enemy trying 
thus to worry her, but that we might not reason about the 
probabilities in the case. What would Jesus do in her place 9 

He went with words that caused suffering, sharp words too, 
but why ? Because of their sin. To all others he appeared as a 
comforter. Here there was no sin to be rebuked, therefore she 
Avould carry suffering to an innocent one. She was the rather 
to be a messenger of comfort and joy. 

As we commenced thus the Spirit enlightened her darkened 
mind, and she found rest. 

I write this, thereby hoping to encourage some tried and 
tempted soul to turn from human wisdom, and simply study 
Jesus. Study Him in the written Word as well as in Spirit 
and providence. This is never opposed to the law of the Spirit 
of life and we may safely rely on its teachings. 

Dr. Mahan says, ''^ Great fights of affliction,' 'divers temp- 



EEDEEMED FROM SIN. 41 

tations,' ^ fiery trials/ and 'resistance unto blood/ ' striving 
against sin/ are eras in the hidden life, not for inglorious 
defeats, but for glorious victories and triumphs ' through the 
blood of the Lamb and the word of their testimony.' 

The reason, and the only reason, why any believer, the feeb- 
lest as well as the strongest does not ' stand in the evil day ' 
is, that he expects to fall, and in so doing casts away his 
confidence. 

We are to expect that Christ will keep us. The corn of 
wheat has fallen into the ground, now let it die. ' If thou 
wilt believe thou shalt see the glory of G-od.' 

At all times and under all circumstances, expect to be more 
than conqueror through Him that loved you; then shall you 
be ' as Mount Zion, which cannot be moved, but abideth for- 
ever.' Whatever may come into our life, bringing us nearer to 
God, must honor Him, and give an experience of His love and 
faithfulness that will ere long cause us to cease from all 
sorrow and fear, and enable us to say truly ' all things work 
together for good.' " 

" Pris'ners of hope, be strong, be bold ; 

Cast off your doubts, disdain to fear ; 
Dare to believe ; on Christ lay hold ; 

Wrestle with Christ in mighty prayer; 
Tell Him,— We will not let Thee go, 

Till we Thy name, Thy nature know," 



42 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 



CHAPTER IV. 

DRESS AND EXTERNALS. 

" Ye are not your own." 

In the consecration of all, the dollars and the pennies were 
the Lord's, and He must direct in their use. The voice to me 
was '^ Whether therefore ye eat or drink or whatsoever ye do, 
do all to the glory of God " (1 Cor. 10 : 31). 

The " single eye " Avas required. I was to care for the body, 
as a sacred trust, in such a manner as would make it most 
efficient for God. I could no longer- partake of any kind of 
food or drink that might be injurious merely because I liked 
it, or avoid another because I disliked it, for in so doing I was 
serving self, and the motive sinful. ^^ Ye have not so learned 
Christ " (Eph. 4 : 20). 

The question for the Christian is, " Will it make me stronger 
for God ?" '^ Do I take it in purity ?" Doing this, faith may 
claim the glorified presence, and thus we go forth strength- 
ened, even as from a sacrament. 

I was called to renounce tea and coffee taken as a beverage, 
as well as other stimulants, feeling that I should find in Christ 
the strength needful for daily duties. 

It seemed to be a lack of faith, and dishonoring to God, to 
use a stimulant, in order to perform a duty He gave. As a 
stewardess for God I also felt I could use the money intrusted 
to my care in a better way than for condiments or perfumery. 

" We have been called to liberty, only use not liberty for an 
occasion to the flesh " (Gal. 5 : 13). 

We live not as '* beating the air," life being a grand and 



DRESS AND EXTERNALS. 43 

glorious reality. " I do all things for the Gospel's sake, that I 
may be a joint partaker thereof" (1 Cor. 9 : 23). 

As I conld not take superfluous stitches to the glory of God, 
I was clearly led to a simple style of dress, thus having increased 
time, money and strength to devote to., the interest of His 
cause. It is when all the tithes are in the storehouse that His 
treasury overflows for His loved ones (Mai. 3 : 10), and yet we 
must remember " the Kingdom of God is not meat and drink " 
(Rom. 14 : 17). External observances become a snare to us, 
unless our faith apprehends Christ in them. 

'*' If righteousness come by the law, then Christ is dead in 
vain " (Gal. 2 : 21). Let us not mistake efibrt for faith, or 
means for the end. 

What we want is the shortest, most direct way to God. 
When He alone fills the mind's eye, we are prompted by love 
in all we do, and faith becomes a natural sequence, but if we 
do not obey the teachings given, or the desires that well up 
in the soul, we grieve the blessed Spirit of God by whom we 
are called, and a veil is thus drawn between us and the Holy 
of Holies, and the cry comes ^' my leanness, my leanness !" 

I learned that in the New Life we should be as free from 
the world's fashions and views as the angels are. Purity, 
modesty, economy and the good of others was to be sought. 
The Spirit will lead in this. It is " Holiness unto the Lord " 
to which we are called, this is incribed on our banner, and we 
cannot live as unto men ; the honor that cometh from man 
becoming of little worth — yea, distasteful. 

When an external pressure comes, to induce us to bend to 
the opinions and ways of those about us, the language of the 
soul can only be that of Nehemiah to Sanballat, ^'I am doing 
a great work, so that I cannot come down " (Neh. 6 : 3). 

At one time a lady, who had thought I was too strict in my 
course, came to me, saying she was awakened very early that 
morning, and I was immediately brought before her, and the 



44 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

word ^^ bondage" was given her for me. She did not judge 
in the matter, but brought it as a message from God. 

I was sorely tried, and wondered why Grod had not told me 
that I was in bondage. Had I grieved Him, or in any way 
shut off His teachings ? As a bride would seek her husband's 
pleasure, so had I ever sought His. I bowed low and waited for 
an explanation. As I did so He led me to review my leadings 
to the present time, and I saw that I stood free in Him. Yes, 
free! — except in the matter of putting on plainer dress. 
Then it came in great clearness to me, " Here is your bond- 
age." "Why, as though living in the world, are you still 
subject to ordinances — touch not, taste not, handle not," — 
which to me meant nonconformity to the ivorld. 

I said. Lord, is that test for me, and on dress ? The answer 
came, " You are My child ; you are free to dress as you will, 
only in the Lord I " I need not longer use money for super- 
fluities when there were so many ways in which I could dis- 
pose of it in the interest of my King. 

If you say that the Lord is not interested in such trifling 
things as our food, dress, etc., just call to mind how He 
directed in regard to the erection of the tabernacle, its cov- 
erings, curtains, vessels, etc., and notice His minute teach- 
ings in reference to the temple. 

He not only appointed the Priests and Levites their duties, 
but He directed in regard to the building — the utensils to be 
used in the service to which they were called, with the weight 
of gold and silver in each — and His command was, " Thou 
shalt make all things according to the pattern showed thee in 
the mount " (Ex. 25 ; 1 Ohron. 28). Does God care less for 
us, temples of the Holy Ghost ? 

Some one here may ask, " Does not God love beautiful 
things?" 

Most truly He does, but as He rules in nature, and produces 
what He will, so must He be allowed to govern us severally as 



DRESS AND EXTERNALS. . 45 

He will, performing all that is pleasing to Himself, and 
everything shall be pronounced '^good." 

Our fancies, desires, opinions and tastes must all be as truly 
subject to Him as our temperaments and passions are. The 
one point is, Will we follow the pattern, as God may give it to 
us individually ? 

I was at one time in the Philadelphia Academy of Natural 
Science. As I went about viewing the stuffed birds, I was 
filled with admiration, and my heart was lifted in praise to 
God as the Maker of all. 

Suddenly it came, " Does God so beautifully clothe the 
birds, and does ^ He want you, His child, to go in such an 
unattractive dress ? " 

It came with such sharpness that it pained, me. I said, 
" Lord, Thou knowest ; I am willing and glad to receive 
new light, but I took my present style at Thy bidding — 
Thou canst not reprove me." 

The answer to my soul came, " Watch." 

I saw it was to be proven to me whether it was the voice of 
God, or whether it was " Satan as an angel of light." As I 
went on, the beauty and variety seemed more and more marked, 
and I said, '' Yes, all of God." " Dost Thou desire me to 
adopt a new style ? Anything, dear Lord, for Thee." 

At length I came to cases of birds in plainer plumage, dull 
grays and browns, and to some that were almost hideous ; 
birds of great strength, but they had not the beauty of tint 
that distinguished those T had first seen. 

The eagle, fitted for long, untiring flights; the ostrich, for 
speed ; the albatross, for endurance ; these all showed only 
the beauty found in perfect adaptation to a desired end. 

When I had finished my round, I sat down to rest, and 
waited on God for my lesson. It was this : God has a pur- 
pose regarding all things. 

As I studied Him, in law and Gospel, in nature and grace. 



46 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

I saw He had a plan to be wrought out, and my heart 
responded, " Thy will be done in me." 

As I had walked in the intimations of His will in the past, 
so let me continue to do, not seeking to mark my style by 
any opinions or leadings not received in the mount. 

With new force came the words, " Be content with such 
things as ye have" (Heb. 13: 5). "Be not conformed to this 
world " (Eom. 12 : 1), " but to the voice and will of God." 

Having a naturally intense love for the beautiful, I might 
easily rob Grod by selfishly gratifying my taste, but now, hav- 
ing for years been guided by the Spirit in reference to these 
matters, I can truly Siy, '^ Old things are passed away ; behold, 
all things are become new " (2 Cor. 5: 17). 

My taste, which had become perverted from the channels in 
which God would have it flow, has been so cultivated in the 
school of Christ that I often wonder how I could have called 
many things beautiful which are now unattractive because 
they obstruct the way of the Lord. 

I now see exquisite beauty in some of the most common 
things as I meet them in Him, so that my soul is enriched and 
made glad by new beauties appearing all the way. 

" But shall we not cultivate the taste given us ?" Yes, just 
so far as we may without compromising the principles God 
has laid down for our guidance, but this brings us right back 
to the command "Walk in the Spirit." The '* single eye" 
must be in all that we do. 

Artificial flowers have always had a charm for me ; why not 
gratify my taste and love for them ? What is the tendency ? 
Following this query would lead me to see that the study of 
an artificial flower, however perfect in its parts, has an earth- 
ward tendency, not satisfying to the soul, while an examina- 
tion of a blade of grass or the most common flower of God's 
own handiwork will open up new beauties all the way. The 
spiritual lesson will deepen and the soul be made to hunger 



DRESS AND EXTERNALS. 47 

for more and more of God. Loving the Lord with all the 
heart, can we turn from the cries and claims of priceless souls, 
that we may yield to a mere fancy and decorate the perishing- 
body otherwise than as God directs ? 

In speaking to a sister in the Lord in reference to this 
matter she remarked, ''I do not think it is right to wear 
flowers, bnt I can wear feathers, for they come from God's 
own hand." 

It is true God made the feathers. He had a purpose in so 
doing, but in our appropriating them to ourselves, in needless 
adorning, may we not become a stone of stumbling to some dear 
one who may not discriminate in the distinction made, and 
through our influence be encouraged in a liberty that will not 
tend to godliness ? 

'^The king's daughter is all glorious within" (Psa. 45: 
13). 

Let the same Architect who appoints and executes the 
inward, adorning direct also what the outward shall be. 

Many dear ones of limited means, pressed by their surround- 
ings to expenditures they can ill afford, pant for gospel free- 
dom, and need our sympathy, and claim our help. May we 
not thus '* remember them that are in bonds, as bound with 
them?" 

Loving our neighbor as ourselves, shall we not seek a code of 
principles that may be safely followed by all ? Thus to the 
weak become as weak. Instead of the plea for '' a moderate 
style," so as not to be noticed, shall we not plead separation 
from style ? 

Many, regardless of the ^^ single eye" in which is given 
" simplicity, unquestioning obedience, and child-like love," 
perjure their conscience in going beyond the limits of their 
purse, to say nothing of the time and strength they have 
covenanted to use only for God, and have thus brought on 



48 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

financial, if not spiritual, ruin. If eacli dear one would only 
step with Jesus and 

"Dare to be right, 
Dare to be true," 

words would fail to tell the misery that might be saved. 

We know that we are in an enemy's country ; snares and 
pitfalls abound on every hand and evils multiply. What shall 
the pilgrims do ? 

Shall we loiter, because saved from the fear of evil, until the 
incoming tide engulfs us and our companions ? How many 
have fallen thus by unconsciously going beyond their depth, 
who might have been saved but for, '^ What will folks think ? '' 

One summer, while at the sea-side, I was told that in order 
to learn to swim I must walk out into deep water, and then 
turn and strike for the shore. 

Soon after this I thought I would try it. Not thinking 
about the tide I fell into the undertow. Each step was carry- 
ing me beyond my depth, with no power to resist, and no help 
at hand. 

I lay back against the water with all the force possible, but 
in vain. The water was up to my neck. One step more and 
it must come into my mouth. I thought if this is the way 
hence, it is as short and easy as to go from a downy bed. 

But was it of God ? It was easy from habit to look to Him. 
I said, *' Lord, what is it ? Is this right ? " 

In an instant it came, "Turn and throw yourself on the 
wave." I said, " I cannot, for I shall lose all by the effort." 

Again in great earnestness and almost sharpness it came : 
" Turn and throw yourself on the wave." 

I quickly turned and made a leap as I would throw myself 
into the anns of Jesus. The voice said " Again ! " 

The act was repeated and another step gained. Then the 
words came " Follow on thus." I did so, and was saved. Had 



DRESS AND EXTERNALS. 49 

I not been fully restful in Grod, or, being restful, had not been 
fully obedient, I must have forfeited my life. 

To those who are well-nigh engulfed in sin and misery, or 
in bondage to this world, comes the message " Turn and throw 
yourself on God." 

Look not to the waves or yonr inability ; get the mind of 
God and follow it. He will bear you safely through all to the 
desired haven. I had to face directly about before I could 
cast myself directly on God. That was the trying point. 
Having done this the way was easy. So you will find help, 
and an all sufficiency of grace when you turn fully to Him 
and follow as He may bid you. 

When God only is known and followed in full obedience, 
whether the way be easy or not. He will "always cause us to 
triumph." 

Let us who feel stronger, and have freedom in God (which 
the half-consecrated can never know), heware lest by our 
liberty others be destroyed, or at least '' he made weak " 
(1 Oor. 8 : 11-13). How can those who are risen with Christ 
in heavenly places, stoop to engage in the frivolities or need- 
less fashions of life ? 

Anna Ship ton says, '^The man created in Christ Jesus, 
and who has entered into fellowship with Him, will no more 
seek enjoyment in the things that before satisfied him than 
the lark, that rises with his song in the summer air, can 
return to his shell prison in the mother's nest." 

'^ Wherefore, come out from among them, and be ye sepa- 
rate, saith the Lord ; touch not the unclean thing, and I will 
receive you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the 
Lord Almighty" (2 Cor. 6: 17). 

We hear the wail of a weak faith on every hand ; how can 
it be otherwise, for ^' How can ye believe who seek honor, one 
of another, and seek not that which cometh from God only ? " 
(John 5: 44). 



50 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

We do not advocate any particular style, or color, or dress, 
or cling to any form, but when we see fashion-books, and the 
continually changing styles consulted, and the readiness mani- 
fested in heeding directions given, perhaps by a worldling ; 
when we see rows of needless buttons and meaningless bows, 
yards of ruffling and superfluous trimming — dollars shut into 
jewelry, and even the flesh pierced to receive it, we can only 
say, '' Have ye so learned Christ ? " 

Many dress for influence. Christ laid aside His glory that 
the duty alone might shine. 

If any would win souls, let them be " filled with the Spirit," 
and success will attend their labors. 

The word of God is, '' Whose adorning ... let it be .. . 
in that which is not corruptible " (1 Peter 3 : 4). 

^^ Ye shall receive power," not after that beautiful clothes 
adorn you, but ^' after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you." 

Some cry legalism, and say I am under bondage. Bond- 
age? Yes, I am, thank God ; delightfully so! May it never 
be broken. 

Would that all might come under such bondage, and thus, 
by union with Christ, know a freedom the world can never give. 

Does anyone think it grievous to live according to the 
pleasure of the Heavenly Bridegroom ? If so, ye surely can 
have no part or lot with Him. " The love of Christ con- 
straineth us." H. W. S. says : ''I do not think a close walk 
with God and an hourly obedience to His guiding voice is 
legality. It seems to me like the most glorious freedom. 
It certainly is not bondage when love leads a wife to study 
her husband's slightest wishes, and to seek to please Him in 
all things, and I think it is lovely to have the dear Lord take 
such a tender and personal interest in us as to lead Him to 
tell us just how to dress, and what to read, and where to go, 
every day and hour of our lives." 

I found that whenever I had any millinery to be done. 



DRESS AND EXTERNALS. 51 

needless expense would be incuiTed and confo^-mity to the 
world enforced. 

Often a violation of good taste, or at least a style not befit- 
ting a "woman professing godliness," would be the result. 

There was a wrong somewhere, for the way did not open 
into quiet and peace. In vain I protested against it. I was 
in tondage to the luorld. 

As I waited on the Lord to be delivered, He, by His Spirit 
and providence, led me for a time to take a plain hat similar 
to that worn by the Friends. It was modest, inexpensive, 
and afforded proper protection to the head, and seemed to me 
a quiet and delightful testimony to the half- consecrated that I 
had left their ranks, and I must be left free to serve God as 
He might indicate to me. True, I knew that many would 
have desired me to dress stylishly, but I did not think any 
would feel hurt that I did not do so, my one desire being to 
follow the Lord. I felt thankful that I lived in a country 
where I was free to live out my religious principles, but I soon 
found that Satan would not brook such inroads upon his 
domains. I was assailed on every side and in every place 
where I went, and many times from the clergy as well as 
laymen. 

Where was my boasted freedom ! Surely it was but a name. 
Was it true that religious liberty was given to those who 
should tread American soil ? Would Holland give me less ? 
The dear old Pilgrims ! How my soul welled up in sym- 
pathy towards them, and all who were suffering for conscience 
sake ! 

In building a house, I might choose style and color, and, 
however plain or grotesque, no one would have thought of 
interfering unless in a joking way, but in my dress I was 
denied freedom, and dealt with as if I had committed the most 
flagrant sin of my life. However, it was not the style that 
called forth the censure, but because I followed the Lord. 



52 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

Satan would not allow this to pass unnoticed, and he made a 
mouth-piece of many who had professed to leave all to follow 
Jesus. 

In nothing have I taken a step, that has called forth the 
hatred of the enemy, like showing liberty in dress, which, to 
my mind, proves that it is time the followers of Christ should 
arouse themselves to learn and claim their redemptive 
privilege. 

The axe is laid at the root of self, and self must go. Happy 
that soul who retards not the work in himself or others. 

Dr. Cuyler says : '' "We cannot emphasize too strongly the 
grace that pinches selfishness. I care not how orthodox is a 
man's creed, or how eloquent may be his prayers in public, if 
he has never learned to say no to the demands of fashion, pride 
and luxury, he is but a sorry specimen of the Christ-man. 
Let us pray for the grace that pinches. If it goes against the 
graiuj all the better. 

If it wounds our pride, well. If it makes us look singular^ 
let us remember that we are commanded to be a peculiar 
people, and not to look like the votaries of Satan. 

Oh, for a new baptism of self-denial ! Oh, for a new training 
in that lesson which our dying Master taught us, which apos- 
tles and martyrs echoed from the prison cells and has kindled 
stakes ! It is fearful to see how ' the offense of the cross has 
ceased.' " 

May God help us to walk in the way Jesus trod, remember- 
ing, " He must increase, but I must decrease" (John 3. 30). 

When I see thriftlessness and waste in living, I am pained 
at the forgetfulness of the command, ^' Gather up the frag- 
ments that nothing he lost^' (John 6: 12), and my heart long- 
ingly turns to some of the Lord's suffering and starving ones, 
and I would fain ask, " Do you see Jesus here, and do you 
see an opportunity to do for Him ? " '• Inasmuch," etc. 

When I think of the millions who are perishing and plead- 



DRESS AND EXTERNALS. 53 

ing for the Word of Life, and yet see professed followers of 
Jesus use the money intrusted to them as if it were their own, 
to be appropriated according to their own wisdom and pleas- 
ure, I would refer them to the early days of the Church, when 
the one desire teas to make Christ Icnotvn. They well knew 
that to be a Christian was to forsake all for Jesus. This they 
did cheerfully, heartily, sacrificing all they had for the truth's 



One was not left in poverty and suffering, while a fellow dis- 
ciple lived in plenty; but, in the love of Christ, a free distri- 
bution was made according to the need of each (Acts 4: 32-35). 
That precious prayer that they all may be one (John 17: 21), 
must be answered. If need require, we are to ^^lay down our 
lives for the brethren " (1 John 3 : 16). Our love is not to be 
marked by word, but deed, not in tongue, but in truth. 

We are stewards for God, and are to hold or use what we 
have as He may teach, the one desire being, " Thy will le 
done. " 

*' Go up, go up, my heart, 
Be not a trifler here ; 
Ascend above these clouds, 
Dwell in a higher sphere. 

Let not thy love flow out 

To things so soiled and dim; 
Go up to Heaven and God, 

Take up thy love to Him. 

Waste not thy precious stores 

On creature-love below ; 
To God that wealth belongs, 

On Him that wealth bestow." 



54 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 



CHAPTEEV. 

PRAYER. 

" All things whatsoever ye pray and ask for, believe that ye have received 
them, and ye shall have them. "—(Mark 11: 24— New version.) 

Prayer is the Christian's " vital breath," for the life in God 
cannot be maintained without it. The believer finds it to be 
the source of so many blessings that he soon learns to value 
the little moments in which he may have recourse to it. 

We cannot attach too great importance to closely following 
the monition of the Spirit in this exercise ; entire consecration 
demands this. 

Those long shut away from active duties, or the obscure and 
illiterate disciple, may thus as co-workers with God bring, 
some of the brightest gems to deck the Saviour's crown. 

That this work for the King may be performed most effi- 
ciently may be one reason why He in love and wisdom has placed 
them in the. niche they occupy. 

In prayer as also in service our teaching is : " Walk in the 
Spirit." During the summer of '76 I was much prostrated by 
the heat, so that for a time I could not sit up during the day, 
but in the cool of the evening was often called out for a short 
walk. One evening, after a day of much suffering, it was 
given me of the Lord to call on a friend. I questioned, could 
I walk so far ? I saw it was of God, and, leaning upon the 
arm of another, slowly walked thither. 

Arriving at the place designated we found that a child of 
the family lay in a seemingly dying state of cholera infantum. 
The two attending physicians gave no encouragement of its 
recovery. 



PEAYEK. 55 

Seating myself, I closed my eyes and waited upon God. Did 
He send us here ? Yes, I was clear on that point. 

He had a purpose in this. What could it be ? Did He 
desire that young life to be spared ? I saw that I should not 
be free to go, until I had prayed. Asking the privilege, I 
kneeled by the unconscious child, and laying my hand on it, 
ofiPered a short prayer, as led, and left it with the Lord ; at 
times during the night I had much travail of soul for the 
child. I cannot say that I was expecting it to be healed, or 
yet dared not allow the thought that it would die. I simply 
knew that I was working with Grod in its behalf. 

My one prayer was, '^ Fill — fill it, Lord, with Thyself," and 
still held steady and expectantly in God. 

The next day one of the physicians called on me and said, 
the child had no appearance of disease, but was still very weak. 
It was soon restored to its usual strength. 

Had I not obeyed the monition of the Spirit in going, had I 
not freed myself of all responsibility by prayer, I might have 
stood in the way of the child's life. Those who claim that this 
work was wrought through animal magnetism, must remember 
that my physical power was at alow ebb. Because of this the 
Spirit had more full control of me, '^ For when I am weak 
then am I strong" (2. Cor. 12: 10). 

While spending a few weeks in .... I was led to call upon 
a stranger who was fast sinking in consumption, and a spirit 
of prayer was given me for her healing. I told her the Lord 
wanted to restore her. Instead of receiving the words, she was 
shocked at their seeming impiety, feeling that I was opposing 
God's will, and she was made worse. 

In the months following, as I would hear from time to time 
that she was rapidly sinking, I could only say, "I do not 
understand it, for the Lord shows me that He does not want 
her to die." 

Thus she was strangely held in life for a year, until at last. 



56 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

moment by moment, her death was expected, when suddenly 
she started up, saying "Jesus has healed me!" She arose, 
and from that time was healed. " His name shall be called 
Wonderful" (Isa. 9: 6). 

Believing that all real power in prayer comes through the 
agency of the Holy Ghost, most sacredly let us heed His 
slightest call and at once retire into the soiif bo learn what He 
would say to us, or how lead us. If the desire is given to 
retire alone with God, let us watch for His moment, and as 
the way opens walk therein. 

Fenelon, in speaking of prayer, says: "When you are not 
permitted to enjoy long seasons of leisure, economize the short 
ones ; ten minutes thus faithfully employed before God in the 
midst of your distractions will be as valuable to you as whole 

hours devoted to Him in your more unoccupied moments 

When He gives you time take it and profit by it, but until 
then wait in faith, well persuaded that what He orders is best." 

As we bow and wait on Him in all His appointed way we 
never fail to get comfort and strength. Burdens and victories 
for souls have thus been given, the secrets of the Lord have 
often been revealed, and many, very many times, have His 
chosen ones been drawn aside to more closely gird on the 
armor, and become fortified for some coming event for which 
especial grace was needful. 

He goeth before you. Had we merely sought comfort in 
experience all might have been in vain, but desiring only 
God's glory He will meet and bless us. 

I was once greatly exercised by a continual reaching out in 
prayer, and yet never satisfied that I had offered the acceptable 
prayer required. Finally I threw myself into God to know 
what He really wanted of me. 

I expected light and help, and found it in being made free 
from the pressure, and restful in God. 

I then knew it was the enemy that had been thus annoying 



PRAYER. 57 

me. Thus was I made more fully to realize our privilege in 
the Holy Ghost. He never comes in a way to worry and 
weary one, for the effect of His presence and fulness is " quiet- 
ness and assurance forever^' (Isa. 32: 17). 

Let us not resist any leadings given, but retire into God. 
If the pressure is from Satan we shall thus be delivered, if it is 
of God we thus come into the place where He can the more 
fully reveal Himself. 

Does any one fear that the devout soul living the life of 
faith would be inclined to neglect needful duties? The con- 
secrated soul soon learns that the place of blessing is where 
the Spirit calls him and to the duties God requires. 

I once met a man of very emotional nature, who spent much 
of his time in secret prayer. 

I learned that his morning devotions often lasted till late in 
the forenoon, causing him to neglect needful duties. 

His wife and family were in great straits and suffered 
because of it, when by devotion to his trade during business 
hours he might have given them a good support. Such a 
course was a dishonor to the cause of Christ. 

Upon conversing with him, I found he did not seek to be a 
Bible Christian, for, he said, *•' I enjoy it, so that I do not 
want to stop for work." 

Self was the motive power. He did not recognize the fact 
that his powers were redeemed and the Holy One was to con- 
trol his time and duties. 

I afterwards found that extreme selfishness ruled him in his 
daily life. The dear man was sincere, but not governed by 
Christian principles. Having enjoyment in this exercise does 
not prove that we have salvation. 

I once knew an English gentleman, of very refined sensibil- 
ities, who did not believe in the Bible as the revealed will of 
God, and yet he always asked a blessing at table and had 
prayers in the family. 
5 



58 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

One day I told him I did not know how to reconcile it with 
his unbelief. 

He replied that he believed there was a God, and it was 
proper that at all suitable times He should be acknowledged 
(here is a rebuke to many a formalist professing to follow 
Christ), and went on to say, that if he felt no obligation to 
pay homage, he should pray " because of its mental and 
moral influence, as he felt it to be the most refining and ele- 
vating" of any exercise in which he could engage. 

He spoke of his experience as a scientist would, but his life 
showed that he knew nothing of the saving power of Christy 
or of His Spirit. Unless we have the Spirit of Christ we are 
none of His. 

When desire, the soul of prayer, wells up within us, then 
freely, boldly, yet with becoming reverence, let us come to the 
mercy seat, for our God is calling us thus to Him. 

One lesson I have learned in regard to secret prayer that has 
often been a great help, lifting me above present surroundings, 
is always, if possible, pray audibly, at least so as to be able to 
hear the words uttered. Those who do not thus, I find, are 
very apt to have an indefinite experience. 

He loves to hear His children when they cry, and urges us 
to call upon Him, saying, ** I will answer" (Jer. 33: 3). 

The seemings may not always indicate that we have in 
prayer gained a point, yet if we are right with God we will be 
satisfied to allow His love and wisdom decide as to the shortest 
and best way to meet the deep undercurrent of our desires. 
for a holy daring that will enable us to heartily co-operate 
with God in all the hidden answers given. Even though a 
host of seeming evils encamp against us, may we ever be able 
to say, '^Even so, Father, for so it seemeth good in Thy 
sight." 

Being accepted in our prayer, we are assured we have the 
petition (1 John 5: 14-15), yet this promise is modified by the 



PRAYER. 59 

teaching that we are to abide in steady faith, " nothing waver- 
ing/' otherwise we may receive nothing (Jas. 1:6; Heb. 11: 6). 

Anna Shipton says, " When the Lord is dealing with the 
sonl of His servant, that soul must be a patient listener; only 
so is seen the little cloud, only so is heard the sound of the 
abundance of rain. 

Six times did Elijah send for a sign, before the sign that 
his prayer was answered was vouchsafed. The little cloud 
rising out of the sea, like a man's hand, would have had no 
language to King Ahab, but to the expectant prophet it bore a 
message distinct as an angel's voice. 

The * little cloud ' was the harbinger of many clouds ; the 
heavens were soon black with them (1 Kings 18 : 41-45). 

Let the kings of the earth eat and drink, but they who 
watch the way of the Lord must sit alone on Carmel, content 
to wait, and to hear six times, if need be, ^ There is nothing,' 
and be, perhaps, the sport of mockers, who know not what it 
is to wait alone on God." 

Were this constant fellowship with God more deeply consid- 
ered, we should have less complaining of unanswered prayer. 

In the day of redemption we shall be more than satisfied 
with the tests that have been given us, and if there could be 
sorrow in Heaven, I think it would arise from seeing that we, 
in time, so undervalued the privilege of prayer. 

When definite desires are not in our hearts, when we come 
before God in private devotion, let us wait upon Him in 
silence, until He may give utterance. 

Not sitting listlessly, but intently looking to Him, listen, 
expectantly watch, or at times lie as a stone before the sculptor, 
who is to make the statue, that he alone sees within the marble. 
He who knows our present state and need will bestow the por- 
tion of daily manna by which we are to grow up into Christ. 

Thus we learn more readily to catch His voice and better 
understand His meaning. 



60 vSTEPPINGS IN GOD. 

In prayer-meeting, where the enlivening power of the Holy 
Spirit is wanting, great silence often prevails, but from the 
lethargy that falls upon the people, we know that it is not a 
God-given silence ; the meeting is only " dragging." 

When God is about to give an especial outpouring of grace 
to an expectant and waiting people, there is often such a holy 
hush that God's presence is felt, and when He is recognized 
and silently adored, the Spirit in His own time leads forth to 
words or work, and often in a most glorious manner answers 
the prayer, "Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven," 
and souls are garnered in for God. 

Those styled leaders of meetings (although the Holy Spirit 
is the only true Leader) often fear the people will not be edified 
when the Spirit comes in thus, and instead of exhorting the 
people to wait on God, they urge the brethren and sisters to 
speak, and one after another talks " against time," from a 
sense of " duty " rather than from inner promptings, making 
it a servile work rather than one of Love. 

Ah, we thus grieve and resist the Holy Spirit, forgetting 
that if He answer our prayers it must be in His own chosen 
way. 

At family prayers, at table, in the social circle, if all within 
is blank, why not cease from empty words, and wait on God 
until the desire arise, and then utter the prayer, not confining 
the Spirit to time or topic. 

If, held in silence, we are waiting on Him who is our 
strength, and shall find as we go forth in the way that we have 
partaken more largely of Him, however lifeless and inefficient 
we may seem, we shall be strong in the Lord (Isa. 64: 4). 

Failing to do this, prayer often degenerates into a mere form, 
and must be mockery before God. We might as well count 
the beads of a rosary or turn to the prayer-wheel of the 
heathen, as to use a vain repetition of words without desire 
and appropriate faith. 



PEAYER. 61 

In the passing moment we want to be so absorbed in the 
thing before us, whether it be prayer or other form of ser- 
vice, that we forget ourselves. An old writer has quaintly 
said, '^ God looks not at the oratory of our prayers, how 
eloquent they are ; nor at their geometry, how long they are ; 
nor at their arithmetic, how many they are; nor at their 
logic, how methodical they are ; but He looks at their sin- 
cerity, how spiritual they are." 

St. Anthony says, " Prayer is not to be regarded as perfect 
when he who offers it knows that he prays." 

What we want is the life and power brought to us by the 
Holy Ghost, and we perish if we have it not. Hugh Miller 
said, " Prayer is so mighty an instrument that no one ever 
thoroughly mastered all its keys. They sweep along the 
infinite scale of man's wants and God's goodness." Every time 
we offer .a prayer in faith we put forth influences that will 
vibrate to all eternity. Let us believingly seek, and we shall 
go forth into the world to rescue the perishing. 

" O Thou, by whom we come to Grod, 
The Life, the Truth, the Way,— 
The path of prayer Thyself hast trod: — 
Lord, teach us how to pray ! " 



62 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 



CHAPTER VI. 
RESPONSIBILITY. 

" Blessed are they that keep His testimonies and that seek Him with the 
whole heart."— (Psa. 119: 2.) 

I HAVE referred to my being held in silence as a means of 
grace ; God exercised me in many ways to turn my attention 
from exterior objects to Himself, that the self-life might 
become extinct. 

I not only had to learn that the present moment is the abode 
of God, but that the exercises of this moment, so long as I am 
fully obedient and trusting, are from Him, and are to me what 
is just now needful, and the greatest possible good. The 
Infinite and Holy One has the formation of every life, and 
committing ourselves fully to be led, we are saved from the 
responsibilities of the way, and thus may pass on " careful for 
nothing." 

Dora Greenwell says, " Though many a step is trod by the 
elect before he reaches the death of self, and the resurrection, 
yet this is our goal, this is the mark toward which we press, 
yea, with great longings, that we may win Christ, and be 
found of Him ; that we may know the power of His resurrec- 
tion, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being made con- 
formable unto His death, if by any means we may attain 
unto the resurrection of the dead." 

Satan would not allow one who had served him so faith- 
fully as I had done to go on undisturbed, especially as I was 
doing all I could to oppose him, and striving to help build up 
the Kingdom of Christ. At times it seemed as if I must be 



RESPONSIBILITY. 63 

overcome by the trials and temptations that beset me, but 
through them I was ever made to come to a deeper knowledge 
of the faithfulness of G-od who always provided a way of 
escape. My tithes being in the storehouse grace was mine. 

In my extremity waiting on Him, not allowing things 
present to separate me from His love, He would present some 
promise to which I would cling, until the power for evil was 
baffled, or would appear in providence to save and bring me 
into deeper rest. 

We must be weak ere we can be strong. 

Nature must sink that He may rise. 

I now see that had [ praised G-od more in the darkest hours, 
I should have rejoiced in more speedy victory and better hon- 
ored my Lord. 

Praise is the secret of many a victory, 
Adamantine waUs fall before it. 

One day while walking I saw that I was going to meet a 
man who had lost sight of Christ, and was despondent. 

Looking to the Lord for a word of life and cheer, as we met 
I cordially gave my hand, and in glad tones said, " Good 
morning, brother. How are you this morning ?" His very 
look was withering as he dolefully replied, " Bad enough, 
there is no hope for me." 

" Now, " I said, " will you do just as I tell you ? " He hes- 
itated and queried a little, but as I steadily held to the one 
point, he finally promised to "try. " I said, " As you go on up 
that hill" (a long hill was before him), "I want you to say 
' Praise the Lord !' at every step ; continue to do so, not only 
until you feel it down in your heart, but until some one else 
catches the inspiration, and the next time we meet tell me how 
you succeeded." He shook his head, but promised that he 
would "try." 

The following week^I met him again. His face was radiant, 



64 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

and before coming near enough to take my hand, he ex- 
claimed, " Glory ! " 

After the usual salutation he said: *^You know what you 
made me promise. Ah ! that was hard for me, but I did as you 
directed, and I had not reached the top of the hill when the 
heavens seemed to open, and light broke into my soul, and I 
had to say, ' Glory !' and I have been saying it ever since." 

Our persistent obedience in waiting on God, proves a faith 
of which we may be wholly unaware. It is the daily wash- 
ings thus given that keep us and make us whiter than snow. 
The Holy Ghost chooses any avenue He will through which 
to come into our being. Are we at any time stirred by sur- 
roundings ? 

God is revealing to us that somewhat of self remains 
which must be eradicated, root and branch. 

He is taking from us '^ the things that can be shaken " that 
the things that " cannot be shaken " may alone remain (Heb. 
12: 27). 

"My soul, thy gold is true, but full of dross; 
Thy Saviour thus refines thee with some loss. 

Is an evil in others presented to us ? 

Let us look through all into God and we shall find deep 
significance in the teaching, " In all thy ways acknowledge 
Him." 

In sorrow, trial, or temptation, we can but fall back into 
God, and leaving all there, praise and watch for the promised 
deliverance (Psa. 67: 56). When the people praise, the earth 
shall yield her increase. 

The Golden Rule was now being opened to me in new force 
and beauty, and I sought by the aid of Divine grace to obey 
it. Being thrown much with those who had not been awak- 
ened to these teachings, it seemed as if I was but inviting 
them to lay their burdens and service on me, and that in self- 
defense I must also stand on the selfish plane. 



EESPONSIBILITY. 65 

In bitterness of soul I have said, *' Oh, that the Golden 
Eule were engraven, as with the point of a diamond, on every 
window-pane in the land, that each individual might learn 
the lesson ! " The claims of God on me were sometimes in- 
terfered with, which led me to Him for deliverance from the 
bondage. How could I longer obey this rule, and yet how 
could I otherwise be a Bible Christian ? 

Oh ! how sweetly He then showed me that I had erred, in 
seeking the pleasure of others as viewed from their selfish 
standpoint, rather than their highest good. 

He would have us baptized into a love that would lead to 
self-sacrifice for others, yet in this He is to be the guide. 

We are not only to " walk in love " (Eph. 5: 2), but also to 
" walk in the Spirit, " which at times may lead us to reprove 
and rebuke. 

Trying as such experiences are, yet we may well bless God 
for them, for they save us from the one sided-view of truth 
that would lead us to seek our own spiritual good, regardless 
of those about us, which savors of a religious selfishness un- 
like that manifested by the Redeemer. 

We often get great uplif tings of soul, as we thus cease from 
self and put on the Lord Jesus. This has realized unto me 
the assurance in Hosea 2: 14-17. ^' I will allure her, and 
bring her into the wilderness, and speak comfortably unto 
her, and I will give her her vineyards from thence.'' 

God is love. " We love Him because He first loved us." 

In no way can this love be so richly manifested in us, and 
by us, as by having reproduced in our own lives the expe- 
riences that marked the life of Jesus. Intense love brings us 
into fellowship of His suffering, but also yields that bliss 
which is the earnest of our inheritance. 

The question has been asked me, " Do you ever find that 
in speaking to another you have grieved and perhaps offended 
some one, and when you would have made peace, have 



66 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

brought disturbance ? " My deepest crucifixions have often 
come in this way, and most earnestly have I prayed that I 
might become more congenial and lovable, but the more I 
have sought this, and the more of Christ I have had, the 
more marked have been these experiences. 

Loving others as ourselves, we must be faithful to their 
souls. 

. One has said, " When you speak the truth as it is in Christ 
Jesus, you will wound not only enemies, but your dearest 
friends. Here is the cross." 

The circumstances and lessons of life are constantly chang- 
ing. One must be exercised in every part of his nature, that 
every rootlet may be loosed from earth and become firmly es- 
tablished in God. 

Let me here relate a little incident, to show how the most 
trivial event of life may become au avenue to the soul for the 
incoming of riches of grace. Trivial ? Can any Cod-given 
event be of trifling import ? 

At one time, while visiting a dear friend, having occasion to 
go to the pantry, I accidentally, or, if you please, providen- 
tially, dropped a small pitcher. Knowing it to have been 
highly prized by my friend, one may imagine my feelings. 

I instinctively looked to Ood to control my emotions and 
keep me from the sorrow that ^'worketh death." "Godly 
sorrow" I could not have, for the act was wholly uninten- 
tional, therefore " not to be repented of " (2 Cor. 7: 10). Be- 
fore the pitcher had more than touched the floor, the words 
came, " In everything give thanks." '' In this. Lord, how can 
I ?" The lesson was '^ in everything." I waited on Him to 
help me, the broken fragments lying at my feet. Finally, I 
said, "1 do here rise superior to the trial, and give thanks." 

Ah ! I saw that the demand was not fully met ; the break- 
ing must be included. " Must I, dear Lord, thank Thee for 



EESPONSIBILITY. 67 

that?" This came at once, " Giving thanks always for all 
things " (Eph. 5 : 20). Had it been mine, or could I have 
found a duplicate, it would have seemed an easy matter. 

His lancet always has a keen edge, but praise Him for it — 
it but hastens us through the death. 

How can I give thanks for this evil ? Evil — " There shall 
no evil happen to the just" (Pro v. 12: 21). What can it 
mean. Lord? Thou knowest; please help me. He knows. 
Is not that enough ? Can I not trust Him ? Throwing my 
whole being into Grod, I said (without feeling), "Yes, I do 
reverently thank Thee for allowing me to break this pitcher." 
Why it was allowed I knew not, but God knew, and I could 
trust and give thanks. 

He goeth before, not only to give needful lessons, but to 
help us into victory. - 

Joy at once came into my soul, and my emotional nature, as 
well as my will, sided with God. Having obeyed the truth 
through the Spirit (1 Peter, 1 : 22), I gained great victory over 
self and realized deeper truth. I then asked God so to rule 
the heart of my friend that she should be saved from regret. 

Prayer was answered, for she seemed quite indifferent in re- 
gard to the loss, and assured me she really felt all she ex- 
pressed. Every time the Spirit leads us into a deeper death 
He also more fully brings us into the resurrection life. Though, 
like Paul, we may say, " Not as though I had already attained " 
this life, yet let us follow after, that " we may apprehend that 
for which we also are apprehended " (Phil. 3 : 12). It is in the 
dark, intricate leadings that we take a firmer hold on God, 
and learn to draw more largely from Divine resources. Suf- 
fering His will is still obeying, and waiting is also serving. 
As He sees us in our blindness, helplessly waiting on Him, He 
assures us " I will bring the blind by a way they knew not ; " 
" I will lead them in paths they have not known " (new to us, 
but still they are the "good old paths"); '^I will make dark- 



68 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

ness light before them, and crooked things straight; these 
things I will do unto them and not forsake them" (Isa. 42 : 6). 

My desires had been granted beyond what I had " even 
thought." 

True, the light had not always been readily perceived, and 
it has required long and close watching to determine some 
points satisfactorily, on the new basis of operation, and yet in 
due time it has always been given. I had supposed that I 
should always have a consciousness of His presence and ap- 
proval, but there came a time when this was taken from me — 
when for hours, and again for days. He seemed to hide Himself 
from view. 

In great sorrow I would plead to know what I had done to 
grieve Him — why He had forsaken me — but only to find a 
silent God. After a time, the shadow would tlee away, and I 
would again behold my Beloved. 

What caused the change in either case I could not under- 
stand. On closer observation, I saw that these seasons were 
usually, if not always, preceded by most intense desire and 
seeking for more of God ; therefore, it could not be I had in 
any way grieved Him. I then began to turn from seeking 
comfort, and only pleaded that He would overrule all for His 
glory. 

Whenever I said '' Thy glory. Lord," or yielded myself to 
Him with " Thy will be done," "Do with me as best pleaseth 
Thee," peace would come into my soul, and the assurance be 
given that I was asking " according to His will," and therefore 
" had the petition." 

So long as the harmony with Him was unbroken, all was 
well. 

When I learned to turn thus from sensible joys to God alone 
(the one great lesson in spiritual life), these experiences did 
not move me, but the " darkness and the light were both alike," 
the night even shining as the day (Psa. 139 : 12), being per- 



RESPONSIBILITY. 69 

fectly luminous at times. We do not easily take the teaching 
that " The just shall live by faith." When it is learned, we 
no longer seek evidence or emotion to prove our love, for, as 
we walk by naked faith, we learn to love by naked faith. It 
is then that we can say, " None of these things move me." 

When I learned that God called all these exercises good, by 
repeated steps I have been enabled to rejoice in the divers test- 
ings and to "count it all joy." Come what will, I get honey 
out of everything. Everything in life has its meaning, and 
will make its mark — a line of beauty, a blot or a blank. 

My " sun no more goes down, neither doth the moon with- 
draw itself; the Lord is my light and my salvation, and the 
days of my mourning are ended " (Isa. 60 : 20). The flesh 
may war against the spirit, but grace enables me always to 
triumph. Being lifted to the ^^Eock that is higher than I," 
I see a beautiful plan of God wrought out for me, and can 
only adore the love, wisdom and power thus manifested. 
Praise the Lord ! 

When I cannot understand '* Why this ?" I have learned 
to trust and leave all with Him who is too wise to err, and too 
good to be unkind. 

Thus I learn to step more boldly on the promises, when 
subsequently, perhaps, a deeper testing comes. The voice 
comes to us in the deep night-watch of the soul, " Only be 
strong and of good courage " " I will give thee the treasures 
of darkness and hidden riches in secret places" (Isa. 45 : 3). 

When the call comes, " Go forward," whatever difficulties 
be in the way, let us not question, for He says, '^Certainly I 
will be with thee, and this shall be a token unto thee that I 
have sent thee" (Ex. 3: 10). "My presence shall go with 
thee " (Ex. 33 : 14). " Have I not said I will not fail thee nor 
forsake thee ? " (Josh. I). 



70 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

In 1872, in a marked manner, a friend and myself were led 
to a holiness convention in New York State. God had been 
so fully in the arrangements that we were expecting a glori- 
ous time. On arriving at the grounds, faint and weary, we 
found that the engagement to have a tent in readiness 
had not been met. Exposure incident to this, with improper 
food, so prostrated me, that a week of intense suffering fol- 
lowed. I sought to leave the place, but was not free to do so. 
When the meeting closed, I was still held ; indeed, I seemed 
then too feeble to travel. 

The way was intensely dark, and Satan's power about me 
seemed to be manifest. After the crowd had left, the ** still, 
small voice" said, ^^ Gather up the fragments that remain, 
that nothing be lost." It was like life from the dead, to hear 
again the '^ voice of my Beloved." He had been silent all the 
week. 

Saturday evening I was led to attend an experience meet- 
ing held near by, and in course of the meeting to repeat my 
text, which to me was full of the choicest sweets. I after- 
wards learned that a lady who had been in spiritual darkness 
for a year, had, at great sacrifice and expense, gone to these 
grounds, hoping to receive light and help, instead of which, 
like myself, she had met broken engagements, and a week of 
suffering, and when, at the close of the meeting, she would 
have left and returned home, was also held as I had been. 

In the ten days she had been there, not a ray of light had 
reached her darkened mind, until I repeated my text, when in 
the twinkling of an eye she saw new light and was liberated. 

Not in vain had I trod that valley of humiliation. The 
dear Lord was thus preparing me for a work prepared. Praise 
His dear name ! 

Dora Greenwell, I think it is, says, '^ Much of our life, 
if viewed in itself, would appear purposeless and broken, yet 



RESPONSIBILITY. 71 

Christ has said, ' Gather up the fragments that remain, that 
nothing be lost.' We learn to look at life as a whole ; not to 
be discouraged by this or that adverse circumstance, remem- 
bering how much there is which, like frost and snow to the 
plant, is kindly to the root, though hurtful to the flower, yea, 
hurtful to the bloom and fragrance, the lovely and enjoyable 
part of our nature, but friendly to its true, imperishable life." 

In the early days of my experience I was very feeble, often- 
times confined to my room and bed. At one time when suf- 
fering was intense, and I hungered for the Word of Life from 
some one who knew of its power, I thought of two sisters in 
another church who professed to have obtained to a high 
state of grace, and longed to meet them. 

One afternoon I sent for one to sit by my bedside, and talk 
a while, although I could not converse much. 

She strove to entertain me, but her conversation was so for- 
eign to my desires, containing so many thrusts at others, that 
I felt heart-sick, and was relieved when she left me alone 
with God. I was wearied, not with the individual, but with 
lier course, so opposed to her profession and the love of 
Christ. 

I saw that the " Blessed One " would have me to be satis- 
fied to have no congenial Christian friend, if He thus chose, 
and more especially did He show me not to seek what He 
withheld. *' Thine eye shall see thy teachers" (Isa. 30 : 20). 

Through this little circumstance I was enabled more fully 
to recognize the Lord as an ever-present guest and all suffi- 
cient friend. As my capacity has enlarged, in many, very 
many ways, have 1 been repeatedly disciplined, so that on a 
more advanced plane I could still say, and with deeper fervor, 
" Jesus only." 

Lessons upon the value of God-given opportunities for 
service were also given, and the fearful responsibility resting 



72 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

upon me, if unfaithful in performing such service. Having 
had light, it was to be tested. I had been led into a different 
part of the country among strangers. One afternoon, as 
I was passing a house, I saw two colored men in the yard cut- 
ting wood. A deep love for their souls came rushing over me, 
with a desire to go and tell them of the love of Jesus, and 
urge them to bring all their powers into His service. I 
thought a moment, and said, *^No, I am a stranger here, and 
people will think I am crazy, and it would kill my influence 
for all the rest of the time I am here ; I cannot be cut off by 
such an act from a work for God among this people." 

I went to my room near by, thinking " I wish I only knew 
what God wanted in this matter, but He is so silent." I 
have since learned that He is often silent, when we question 
instead of pressing on in Him. An unusual heaviness came 
over me, and I felt the leading must have been of God. 

Desiring to follow fully, I thought I would return and say 
what was given me, but on looking to the Lord the conviction 
came, " No — it is too late now." I could not go. 

This experience cost me deep suffering, and called forth 
much prayer then, and also in succeeding years, that if I had 
failed to form a link in the chain that was to draw those 
souls heavenward, God would let His Spirit so rest upon them, 
that in some way He would accomplish all, and more than 
could then have been wrought through my feeble efforts. 

Some one may say, a sense of propriety should guide us in 
such cases, and common sense should teach us the improj)riety 
of going to such places, but let us see how this is. 

Long after the incidents related had passed from my mind, 
although their impress was left upon my soul, giving a deeper 
knowledge of His will, another experience was given me as it 
were to test my position. 

I seemed as though called to recite what I had learned. 



RESPONSIBILITY. 7e^ 

To the living Christian every step is onward and upward, 
and the " working together for good " will never fail. I had 
been called to a different section of the country, and was 
passing a house where a young man, whom I knew to have 
just come home from the city, was in the yard, plying the axe 
for exercise. I at once felt impelled to go to him and speak 
about his soul. 

Self at once said, "No, what does he want with me?" 
I still felt prompted to go in. Not wishing to decide the case 
myself, I walked slowly, watching God to ascertain His will. 

I passed the gate, but at once felt a departure from God, for 
the way was not opening into liberty, but a constraint was 
coming over me. Immediately turning, I went to the young- 
man and told him how I was exercised, and as I was enabled 
to do, spoke to him upon the love and claims of Christ. 
While I was speaking he leaned respectfully on his axe, eyeing 
me curiously, though kindly. 

I did not know whether he accepted or rejected the words, 
as he did not speak until I had thanked him for listening so 
kindly, and was turning to leave, when he called me by name, 
and said, "I thank yoii for the interest you have manifested 
in me, and it may be of interest to you to know that you are 
the first person that ever spoke to me personally upon the 
welfare of my soul," except he added that his mother had 
done so in a general way, when he was a small boy, and his 
teacher in the infant class in Sabbath-school. 

He had often wondered why this was so, and could not 
understand how Christians, believing as they professed, could 
so pass him by. He had always been a member of the Sabbath- 
school, and a regular attendant upon church. The priest 
and the Levite had passed by, and left the diseased soul to die. 

I have never seen him since, and do not know that my 
words influenced him at all ; but I soon afterward heard that 



74 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

he had become a Christian, and united with the Ohur.ch in a 
neighboring city. 

" Propriety," do you say ? 

How many souls have been allowed to go down to eternal 
death, because the etiquette of this world forbade an earnest 
endeavor to save them. 

The cry goes out from many a heart, " No man cares for my 
soul." May God send help ! 

Had I failed to be obedient, I should have been responsible 
for those souls, to whom I have been called ; but obeying the 
call, I am free, and God writes against my name, " She hath 
done what she could." 

Please turn to Ezek. 33 : 7-9. 

At another time I was visiting at a hamlet in Pennsylvania. 
Passing where a woman was waiting at the gate for some one 
to come out of the house, I felt that I must speak to her about 
her soul. I questioned it, and slowly passed on, but felt that 
I was wrong, and at once returned. As soon as I mentioned 
her soul's interests, tears came into her eyes, and she said, ^' I 
know it — I know it all." As I continued to speak, she 
frequently repeated, ^' I know it all," and seemed to be in great 
distress. I soon left the place, but was led back again after a 
few weeks, to find there a glorious revival in progress. The 
one, with whom I had conversed, became so distressed about 
her soul, that she was constrained to attend meeting. 

Having done this, she arose and asked for the prayers of 
God's people. 

The Spirit came upon them, and other souls were awakened, 
and a glorious revival followed. I went to an evening service. 
After meeting was over, this lady came pressing through 
the crowd to me. As she took my hand she said : '^ Oh ! I 
have so longed to thank you for speaking to me as you did; 
and I have thought what a cross it must have been to you, but 



RESPONSIBILITY. 75 

you see it was not in vain — you have your reward." I had 
only obeyed, and to G-od be all the glory. 

" As the rain cometh down and the snow from heaven, and 
returneth not thither, but watereth the earth and maketh it to 
bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower and 
bread to the eater: so shall my word be that goeth forth out 
of My mouth; it shall not return to Me void, but it shall ac- 
complish that which I please, and prosper in the thing 
whereunto I send it" (Isa. 55 : 10, 11). 

Glory be to His holy name. 

" Workman of God ! O lose not heart, 
But learn what God is like ; 
And in the darkest battlefield 
Thou shalt know where to strike. 

Thrice blest is he to whom is given 

The instinct that can tell 
That God is on the field, when He 

Is most invisible. 

Blest too is he who can divine 

Where real right doth lie 
And dares to take the side that seems 

Wrong to man's blindfold eyes. 

Then learn to scorn the praise of men. 

And learn to lose with God ; 
For Jesus won the world through shame. 

And beckons thee His road." 



76 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 



CHAPTEE YII. 

STILL PURSUING. 

"In that day it shall be said to Jerusalem, Fear thou not; and to Zion, 
Let not thine hands be slack. The Lord thy God in the midst of thee is 
mighty."— (Zeph. 3: 16, 17.) 

1^ following th6 Spirit and Word, views entirely new opened 
before me. Comparing them with Scripture, I could see they 
Avere of God; therefore, to be cherished. Entirely reajardless 
of what might be thought of my course, I pressed on in what- 
ever way my beloved Lord seemed to lead. Though extremely 
seusitive, and suffering keenly from the criticisms and odium 
that this involved, I desired, as far as possible, to conform my 
life to the life of Him who was a living sacrifice for me. My 
past life had been one of ingratitude. I would now live as re- 
deeming the time. We sing : 

" Had I ten thousand hearts to give, 
Lord, they should all be Thine. " 

We know that one is accepted " according to what he hath, 
and not according to what he hath not." He does not ask 
for the ten thousand hearts, but He asks and claims the entire 
love of the one heart. He who in song pledges a devotion he 
does not fulfil is classed with the laborer who said : " I go, 
sir," and went not. In the commonest things in life we daily 
prove our true position. In regard to the conventionalities 
of life, are we serving Grod or man ? 

Some ignore the claims of society and etiquette, saying that 
all is begotten of pride. 



STILL PURSUING. 77 

The Scripture command to us is, " Be ye courteous " 
(1 Peter, 3: 8). Desiring to obey this, we shall often find 
that the rules that govern society are a real help, opening 
many an avenue for the manifestation of Christ's love to those 
about us, and we thereby be enabled to sow seeds of life broad- 
cast. If it is Grod we serve in the little ceremonies of life, we 
shall have no respect of persons, but the beggar and outcast, 
as well as the rich and honorable, will be kindly met, and all 
will do much toward moulding us into the Spirit of Jesus. 
As we give of the love of the Lord, it will be multiplied to us. 

In the School of Christ there are many lessons trying to 
the flesh, each one needful when and as given. We must eat 
the flesh of the Son of Man; we must drink His blood, or we 
can have no life in us. Thus, little by little, we drive out our 
spiritual foes. (Deut. 7 : 22-24, seems to be a type of this.) 

Could I have understood the reason for all my leadings, 
and seen that anything was being accomplished for God 
thereby, I would have been content; but no! oftentimes I 
seemed as it were to be blindfolded and to be led into strange 
paths; but now see all to have been needful, as leading me 
into deeper unquestioning confidence in God, and have also 
been better prepared for service, as since called forth by the 
Spirit. 

At times I would be. so dumb and seemingly living to no 
purpose. I say it seemed so ; in reality it was not thus, for if 
one is watchful and obedient all is as the Father wills. Still 
the question would arise, " Why is it thus ? why do I not 
move on in the way as others do ? " I have learned that the 
tempter is back of these questionings: "If you have power, 
show it," '' If thou be the Son of God, command " etc. (Matt. 
4). Let us remember ^* The Kingdom of God cometh not with 
observation." Let us not too closely scrutinize the work of 
God in us. 



78 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

" Looking unto Jesus " is our watchword. He was as a 
root out of dry ground (Isa. 53 : 2) ; at times only a root, 
and a dry one at that " Thy will : " That was enough, aud 
G-od was glorified. There i^: a purpose in every experience 
He gives. It is a new creation; He looks upon it and calls 
it "good." If we turn to Christ and study His life, we will 
always find its parallel. The lesson in the present may be so 
very heavy and grievous to the flesh that we lose sight of the 
joy enjoined upon us, and feel that we cannot present an offer- 
ing of praise ; but if in all we yield up our powers cheerfully, 
the very act may be to Him as the sweetest praise we ever 
rendered. 

If we fail to do this, and do not learn the lesson. He may 
have to speak yet more severely loud until He is heard and 
obeyed. 

Lest I be enticed into a by-path, and to ensure the open 
way between myself and God, I took the vow that by His 
grace I would never go around the first cross, or knowingly 
yield to the first temptation. 

Many a time, when well-nigh overcome, this vow has been 
the means of holding me firmly in God. 

If at any time one be overcome of evil, never turn to look 
at the evil. " Forgetting the things that are behind," we are 
to press on for the cleansing. Satan will, if possible, becloud 
our eyes so that we may not see the way, or will put unbelief 
in our hearts to prevent our walking therein. Our only safety 
lies in our breaking away from all hindrances, and, by faith, 
claiming Jesus as one who justifies freely from all (Acts, 13 : 
39). 

Thus resting in the atonement, at once begin to praise and to 
''reckon" ourselves dead to all but Christ (Rom. 6: 11). "If 
any man sin, we have an Advocate with the Father" (1 John, 
2 : 1). Christ came not to condemn, but to save. He long- 



STILL PUKSUING. 79 

ingly reaches forth for every penitent, returning soul, but we 
must believe ere we can enter into rest. 

We need not have any care about our interior state while 
obedient to the Spirit, for He, our Guide and Teacher, will 
bring into our experience what is most needful for us. If it 
be the A^alley of Humiliation, it will open before us, and there 
we more fully learn to hate, and leave self behind, and lean 
more heavily on the Beloved (Hosea, 2 : 14-20). 

If it be the Mount of Transfiguration, that, too, will be 
given in its time. Come what will, let us be prompt in all 
our steppings in God, lest things present shut off the full rays 
of the Sun of Eighteousness. 

It is blessed to cease from care, fears and sin, and have repu- 
tation and influence, the walk, life and soul all left with God, 
and we be "without carefulness." To this He calls each one 
of us, and, whatever our circumstances, supplies grace ^^ac- 
cording to our need." 

Having learned that all we have is the Lord's, as our love 
deepens towards Him and our fellow-creatures, we incline to 
do to our utmost for those about us, but love being in a 
mixed state, we are often led to act from natural sympathy, 
when the Lord does not call us to action. For this we not 
only run before our Leader, but may also involve ourselves in 
trouble or want. 

He develops grace within us as we follow on, and the ex- 
ercise of that grace establishes us therein. If in any thing we 
are '^ otherwise minded" than our Lord, He will reveal it 
unto us. He voices Himself in the circumstances about us as 
we incline to " turn to the right hand or to the left " (Isa. 30 : 
20, '21}. 

I was at one time called to pass a few days in a minister's 
family in a little borough in Pennsylvania. I found them in 
very straitened circumstances, the children not having 



80 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

clothing to make them presentable at Sabbath-school. I con- 
ceived the idea of giving them my cloak (a large circular), 
from which needful garments could be made. Thinking I 
should not suffer much, at least, no more than they would 
without it, and it being the Lord's must be held where it was 
most needed. Filled with a zeal, which I now see was not 
begotten of the Spirit, I heartily gave up the garment as a 
love-token to the Lord, sure that I could get another one if I 
really needed it. He knew that love was in the gift, but 
would regulate that love, so that it should only move in the 
line with God. He would teach me that I must ever let Him 
go before me to guide in the disposal of whatever was en- 
trusted to my care. Therefore, in love, purest love. He al- 
lowed me to become chilled again and again, and more than 
one winter passed before the cloak was replaced, but none too 
severe had been the lesson that was to teach me to walk softly 
before God. 

In using the money entrusted to our care, we may be held 
from giving when we would naturally do so. Then again, we 
may be called to give beyond our seeming ability. I well re- 
member my once being held from giving to a penny collec- 
tion and how it hurt me. '^ Why should God withhold so 
small a sum ? " but he taught me that even the pennies were at 
His disposal and also that it was not the money given that 
called the blessing, but in bestowing it in the will of God. 

At one time I had a sum of money given me for a Christ- 
mas present ; I began to question as to how I should expend 
it, when I was made to see that it was not for me at all, but 
I was to give it to a certain cause. As I questioned the lead- 
ings, I laid it aside for a week until I might have clearer light. 
I was not blessed in retaining it. Deciding that I must give 
the Lord the favor of the doubt, I put it in an envelope, 
thinking as I moved on in action that a blessing or a check 
would be given. "Then shall ye know if ye follow on." Hav- 



STILL PURSUING. 81 

ing directed it a sense of relief was given me and a desire to 
send it out ; as I did so, I had a consciousness that I had 
walked in the will of the Lord. I was then called to give a 
sum to another cause, and, as if to fully test me, in a day or two 
was called to give to a third cause. I followed blindly, for there 
is no turning in the way. In a few days I received letters 
from four different persons who knew nothing of my circum- 
stances and needs at the time, and in the letters was more 
than the sum I had given. '^ Give and it shall be given." I 
not only had all back with interest, but also a most pre- 
cious lesson in obedience and trust. 

In the " proving," the way is not always at once clearly ap- 
prehended, but we have only to rest back in God in silence, 
only desiring His glory and all will be well. " The secret of 
the Lord is with them that fear Him" (Ps. 23 : 19). These 
things are foolishness to the natural mind, for spiritual 
things can be only spiritually discerned. " The things of 
God knoweth no man, but the Spirit of God " (1 Cor. 2 : 
9-14). When an individual will let God have full possession 
of his being, the light and the voice become known and the 
path will shine " brighter and brighter unto the perfect day." 

When His will is perfected in us here, we shall pass on in 
the weight of glory and our praises will be loud and yet more 
loud throughout the ages of eternity. This is salvation, pur- 
chased by the blood of Jesus — free for all — yet many choose 
to starve rather than come to the gospel feast. May God 
have mercy on their souls ! 

As we dwell in God we cannot read the future by the past. 
Our powers for suffering, doing, or simply existing, are left 
with Him, to be held or exercised as He will, and that will is 
being made known in the ever-recurring noiu. 

His ways are not as our ways, but knowing that He is in- 
finite in love and that His power is commensurate with that 
love, we fully yield all and follow, and this not slavishly. The 



82 



STEPPINGS IN GOD. 



enthusiasm of our entire being enters into the worK and life ; 
we watch with deepest interest the unfolding of G-od's plan in 
our lives. This may possibly lead us, in a large degree, to 
lay aside the '' may he's " of life, but it gives great freedom, 
and opens the way for God, and surely this is what we seek. 

I have a dear friend to whom I have been sent once and 
again with words in regard to the superfluities of life. The 
messages were always kindly received, and yet we failed to see 
alike in the matter and could only leave it for the Lord more 
clearly to make known His will. A short time since I was 
sitting by her side while she was trimming a wrapper very 
neatly and fashionably, but to me, foolishly. I looked to the 
Lord for courage to say what He might give me regarding it. 
His voice at once said : ^' You have been faithful m all the 
messages given and now you are free." Great rest in G-od 
was given me and we conversed as freely upon spiritual 
things as if she had only an open Bible before her. I won- 
dered at the change, was she indeed now accepted in this, 
when I knew the Spirit had so often in the past rolled bur- 
dens on me regarding it ? I left all with the Lord, knowing 
that in the proper time He would teach me. 

During the wakeful hours of the following night, suddenly 
I seemed to see the wrapper hanging on the wall of my room, 
but so enveloped in a mist that I could not clearly discern 
more than the colors and general outline ;' while calmly sur- 
veying it, it disappeared, and my thoughts turned to other 
matters. After a little time it came thus again with the 
light about it so intensified that the fog was more apparent. I 
said, '^ What does this mean ? " The answer came, " What the 
mist is to that dress, that dress is to her spiritual life, pre- 
venting her from clearly discerning the mind of the Spirit." 

Many have said to me that they could be religious if they 
had the time for reading and prayer that I have. I reply, 
beware of the needless things of life and you will have all 



STILL PURSUING. 83 

the time God sees will be helpful for you, and you can want 
no more. 

This tends to an humble and separate walk and is, there- 
fore, a safe course. True, deepest pride may be hidden un- 
der a simple style of living, or the plainest garb, but the ten- 
dency is not to this, but the opposite. 

Simplicity for Jesus can but be helpful to the soul, and to 
me it has been the royal road of liberty, and given many an 
expression of love to my Redeemer which otherwise would 
have been given to the world. 

I have been greatly puzzled to see so wide a difference m 
the views and feelings of those who are seeking to walk in 
the way of holiness, but light breaks in as we regard truth as 
many-sided and may be viewed from various stand-points ; and 
then, too, God seems to be developing us differently, accord- 
ing to the work to which we each are to be called forth by 
Him. May we have charity and liberty of soul to see it thus. 
To his own master every one standeth or falleth. 

The teaching in 1 Peter 1 : 22, is that " we purify our souls 
in obeying the truth through the Spirit." Let Him teach 
each as He will, and let us beware that we mar not His work 
or hinder His way. 

These principles are what led Jesus to the cross, and has 
caused many a follower to suffer martyrdom. 

" Are there no foes for me to face 
Must I not stem the flood ^ 
Is this vain world a friend to grace, 
To help me on to God { " 

It is not an ideal Jesus that we follow, but the One revealed 
in the New Testament, who ever delighted in a perfect obedi- 
ence to the will of the Father. " I seek not Mine own will 
but the will of Him that sent Me." 



84 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

Doe? this allow of laxity, or can self have a voice ? In Gal. 
1 : 10, we are taught, '^ If I yet pleased men, I should not be 
the servant of Christ." 

Lest any one might, from what has here been said, be led 
to judge another, let me ask you to study Eom. 14, and learn 
that it is ^' as unto the Lord " that we are to '^ do," and it is 
''as unto the Lord" that we are "not to do." Judge not ac- 
cording to appearances " (John 7: 24). ''Judge nothing be- 
fore the time." "Who is he that condemneth?" (Rom. 
8 : 34). 

A dear sister once told me of going out to get a dress, ex- 
pecting to purchase a very plain and inexpensive one, because 
she felt it became her as a Christian to do so ; but when she 
stood at the counter she thought, " I am a temple for the in- 
dwelling of the Holy Ghost," and the feeling came that she 
should, therefore, clothe the body as richly as she could, and, 
instead of the plain dress, she bought the most beautiful and 
expensive one that her means would admit of. Love was in 
that offering. God knew her motive, and no doubt accepted 
it, but possibly she may have had a one-sided view of 
truth. True, the body is His temple, and should be sa- 
credly cared for, but shall He not teach in reference to it ? 
Let Lis test all our leadings by the Word. We there see that 
in feeding the hungry and clothing the naked we may minis- 
ter to «}esus. He will enable us so to harmonize this double 
view, that the present service in hand may be done, and the 
other not be left undone. 0, the precious opportunity of do- 
ing for Jesus in the person of His little ones ! 

Speaking to one in regard to self-indulgence, she said she 
had given herself to the Lord, and knew He had accepted 
her. She was not going to get under bondage by striving to 
put down this or that. This was His work. He had her to do 
Avitb as He would, etc. In this did she not overlook her re- 
sponsibility in the matter ? Does not God call us to be co- 



STILL PQRSUINa. 85 

workers with Him — to work out our salvation, while still 
recognizing the work carried on interiorly by Him ? Are we 
not to '^put off the old man," "to put on the new"? To 
'• cease from evil ? " " To reckon ourselves dead unto sin and 
"alive" only " unto Christ ?" We are to judge ourselves, and 
as we discover our defects lay them on Christ when He shall 
put them away. Thus do we co-operate with Him. " If we 
judge ourselves, we shall not be judged " (1 Cor. 11 : 31). 
" Watch and pray " is as emphatically given to us as is " Only 
believe." We may not give countenance to an evil or weak- 
ness, but strike at its root. The right eye must, if need be, be 
plucked out, the right hand discarded, that Christ alone may 
reign in all the members of His body. Even wandering 
thoughts, idle fancies and foolish fears, have no place in the 
heart of the redeemed. 

In the early part of my experience I was nervously timid and 
had many contests with fear. I saw it must not be allowed to 
control me, and would not if I had entire confidence in God, 
for had He not said, "They shall fear no evil," for *^ there shall 
no evil befall thee, etc. ? " (Ps. 91 : 10). Frequently would I 
be so situated that it would seem proper for me to lock the 
door of my room at night. If this had been done simply as a 
proper protection to His child, all would have been in order ; 
but if through fear I had felt safer for the bolt, I should have 
sown sparingly in having allowed the weakness to rule me, 
and trifled with proffered grace. 

Many a night have I refused to turn the key lest 
fear be nourished, and the waking hours have passed — not 
in fear, but in a newly-wrought victory. Shall we shrink 
from the testing and spare the delicate tendrils that support 
the self-life ? Nay ! verily. 

God not only wants our fears ; but all our loves must center 
in Him. Not that we are to cease to love our friends, but 
meeting them only in Him our love becomes purified and 



86 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

necessarily deepened and savors of heaven. Only thus can 
Grod's purpose, in giving us friends, be met. If we allow Him 
to hold and regulate those affections, all is well. 

The days of darkness and tribulation so long prophesied 
are, I believe, upon us. Our only safety lies in having our 
entire being redeemed, that " when the Prince of this Avorld 
Cometh, He may find nothing in us." 

I often meet those who shrink from crosses and duties in 
the Christian life, pleading that they cannot go forward — ■ 
that I am not as sensitive as they, etc. A more sensitive per- 
son can scarcely be found than I was when I heard the voice, 
" Follow Jesus," but obeying, He saved me from myself, and 
if you would be saved from self and your enemies you must 
find shelter under the cross. God understands your sensitive- 
ness and your needs. When you go forth in the Spirit you will 
find that you can do all things through Christ strengthening 
you (Phil. 4 : 13). You say you ask for power. Can you re- 
joice in necessities and distresses that the power of Christ 
may rest upon you ? Are you ready to be drawn apart into 
the wilderness, there to meet the Beloved, or, if need be, 
pass through some fiery trial that the " form of the Fourth " 
may be seen ? If so, your prayer is answered, and you have 
only to go forth and moment by moment live the power as 
the present duty requires. Christ is our power ; walking in 
full obedience we shall lose sight of self and ere long be found 
rejoicing in all the plan and will of God concerning us. An 
ecstatic experience is not necessarily one of power. '^ To be, 
or not to be, I leave to Thee." We become satisfied with 
God rather than seek comfort and hope in experience. 

We know not how the Spirit may use us until we allow 
Him to work in us both to will and to do of His good pleas- 
ure. He entrusted the talents to us and His searching eye ac- 
companies the command: ^^ Freely ye have received, freely 
give." To him that useth what he hath shall more be given. 



STILL PURSUING. 87 

but from him that useth it not, shall be taken even that 
which has already been bestowed. Each moment avenues are 
widening through which we may receive fresh anointings. Is 
the service required one of toil, drudgery, or even slavery, be 
it a secular or so-called religious work, all becomes a spiritual 
one, and an open channel for the Spirit's incoming with His 
gifts and graces, and also an increase of power. " He that 
receiveth whomsoever I shall send [and this involves what- 
ever] receiveth Me, and he that receiveth Me receiveth Him 
that sent Me" (John 13 : 20). 

I was at one time seeking an enduement of spiritual 
power. The answer came through repeated crosses, and yet 
no manifest blessing. Finally, I was called to carry a very 
searching message to one who seemed to have great spiritual 
power, and much in advance of me in the new life. I obeyed 
the call and wrought faithfully for Jesus' sake. As I returned 
to my room I beseechingly cast myself on God, pleading that 
He would keep me in His way, for it seemed as if I must be 
going into error. That night the blessed Spirit awoke me 
with, " Give is the law of increase," " Give and it shall be 
given," and showed me that in each cross I had borne, grace 
had multiplied. " If we ask anything according to His will 
He heareth, and if we know that He hear us, whatsoever we 
ask, we know that we have the petition that we desired of 
Him " (1 John 5 : 14, 15). 

Persons have said to me: '' If the Lord would talk to me 
as He does to you I would dare to follow." We may not lose 
sight of the fact that "The just shall live by faith" (Rom., 
1 : 17). If I had not followed blindly and implicitly in the 
earlier part of my experience, as also in later years, with often 
little manifest fruit (and now, too, the steppings often only in 
naked faith), I should never have heard and learned to know 
God's voice. 



88 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

Each one of us has been called into the vineyard for some 
specific work, and, while faithful in this work, will have all 
his spiritual, as well as physical, necessities met. 

It is a delightful and most cheering thought that, though 
we are saved by grace alone, yet, if faithful in the service of 
our Lord, we shall have a reward — even the crown of life. 0, 
let us press on in the way, and we ere long shall hear Him say : 
'^Well done, good and faithful servant, enter thou into the 
joy of thy Lord." 

He will reward, not according to the time of service or 
amount of work performed, but according to the love and 
faithfulness evinced in its performance. He judges that " He 
that IS faithful in little will also be faithful in much." 

Is some dear one disheartened, and w.ell-nigh in despair, as 
he may look over a misspent life ? Remember the eleventh 
hour is not yet passed, and the Gospel call still is — it comes 
to you — " Whosoever Avill, let him take of the water of life 
freely" (Rev. 22: 17). Heed the call, lose not a moment, take 
Christ and begin to draw nourishment and life from Him, and 
you are saved. True, you can bring no righteousness; who 
can ? Nor good deeds, do you say ? salvation is not of works. 
Then man might boast. It is all of Christ. The Gentiles 
which followed not after righteousness, have attained to right- 
eousness — even the righteousness which is of faith (Rom. 9 : 
30). The purest life finds salvation in Him alone. He came 
to save sinners, and He may be more glorified in saving you 
to-day than had you kept all the commands from your youth 
up. Take Him as your Saviour ; believe that He saves you 
now, and then, seeking to honor Him, He will be manifested 
and glorified in you, and your life will not have been in 
vain. 



STILL PUESUING. 89 

' I cannot tell what next shall be, 

Yet, Lord, content I lay 
Within Thy ever-blessed arms, 

Not knowing which the way ; 
Nor asking, since Thou givest me 

To know. Thy love is leading me. 

Love leading — shall I question where ? 

Nay, Lord, I shut my eyes, 
And place my hand within Thine own, 

To ope' with glad surprise, 
To find where'er my lodgings be, 

The Saviour, God, abides with me. 

If here to sit or there to work, 

'Mid sunshine, or midnight ; 
At home to pray Thy people speed, 

Abroad to help them fight ; 
Lord, as Thou wilt, if but in me 

Thine own sweet will perfected be." 



90 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 



CHAPTEK VIII. 

ABANDONMENT. 

" I will lead in the way of righteousness, in the midst of the paths of judg- 
ment, that I may cause those that love me to inherit substance, and I will fill 
their treasures."— (Prov. 8: 20-21.) 

" I will lead the blind by a way that they know not."— (Isa. 42: 16.) 

We know not the way, but our God says, " I will lead." 

It used often to be whispered into my soul, '^1 have many 
things to say unto you, but ye cannot bear them now/' I 
wondered at first what it meant, but, advancing in the way, I 
learned that it was the Spirit's voice, and, heeding it as such, 
I gained comfort and strength. 

'*He spake as they were able to bear it." We may not 
understand the meaning of the teaching given, but, recogniz- 
ing the Voice, we gratefully take the words, and are satisfied 
to hold them until He shall interpret, whether it be hours or 
years. 

I felt my ignorance and helplessness so keenly that I was 
desiring to grasp at once all the knowledge and grace in store 
for me, but have learned that the light can only come by de- 
grees, as our capacities for receiving daily increase. The poor 
in spirit can never be turned empty away (Matt. 5: 2). 

Knowledge of any kind can only be communicated progress- 
ively. Just as one stone rests on another in a building, and 
each one, by the hand of the builder, must be placed and fitted 
with reference to the last, so every new truth or experience 
must rest on a former one in its due time and place. 



ABANDONMENT. 91 

In the fulness of time, the fulness of grace will be revealed. 
With God there is a due time for all things. Thus all things 
move on in order and in harmony with His great plan, how- 
ever confusing and disjointed all may seem to us. On every 
plane on which man moves there are the due experiences of 
that plane, all to help in bringing us to an end of the self-life 
and to the restitution of all. In some way God i-s to be glori- 
fied in all — ^^ Even the wrath of man shall praise " Him. The 
believer, assured of this, will more readily rest the government 
of all things on "His shoulder," and learn to be *^ without 
carefulness." 

" In due time Christ came for the ungodly, yet not until 
He was perfected through suffering, could He proclaim the 
work " finished," though in God's mind it was already wrought 
and dying souls were pointed to it for salvation. 

There is a set time to favor Zion. He says, " My people 
shall be made willing in the day of My power." "And when 
the fulness of time shall come, He shall gather into one all the 
elect, and time shall be no longer." *'He that believeth shall 
not make haste." 

Do you say this is fatalism? Do you say this when the hus- 
bandman waits the full time for the harvest ? Having put in 
the seed, does he not, with long patience, wait for ' * the blade, 
then the ear, and after that the full corn in the ear " ? So 
with our spiritual sowing. **In due season we shall reap if 
we faint not " — " if we faint not ! " what an incentive to press- 
ing on into God as the light may be given. " We which have 
believed do enter into rest." 

Of character-building, Eutherford says: *'We see hewn 
stones, timber and a hundred scattered parcels and pieces of a 
house, all under tools, hammers, axes and saws ; yet the house, 
the beauty and ease of so many lodgings and rooms, we neither 
see nor understand for the present; these are but in the heart 
and mind of the builder yet." The work is grandly moving 



92 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

on, and in God's own time it will be perfected and presented 
faultless. " Ye are Grod's building." Eternity will reveal His 
"wisdom, His well-conceived and well-completed plan. 

The Master Builder drew the plan of our lives, and is fully 
competent to execute it, and will if we have the courage to co- 
operate with Him. '* Every time afflictions, sorrows and trials 
come, they are God's workmen to round off the corners, polish 
and chisel the stone so that it will fit in the right place in the 
mansion in the Eternal City." All noise of the self-life must 
cease before we can enter there. (For a type of this see 1 Kings 
6: 7.) 

Step by step, day by day, we meet the conflicts through 
which we press on into victory and increased possessions, 
always remembering that " No good thing will be withholden" 
(Ps. 84:11). 

The opposite of present trial or seeming need would be an 
evil. ''Wherefore lift up the hands that hang down and 
strengthen the feeble knees, and make straight paths for your 
feet, lest that which is lame be turned out of the way" 
(Heb. 12: 12, 13). The need for soul or body He will supply 
"according to His riches in glory" (Phil. 4: 19). 

" It may not be my way, it may not be thy way, 
And yet in His own way the Lord will provide." 

When I came into the light I had a deep longing in my 
soul to be baptized. I wanted to reconsecrate myself before 
the world, and thus give testimony to the living Christ, and 
felt that in the administration of this rite I should be brought 
into deeper union with Him. There seemed to be a link 
wanting in this golden chain. I had been baptized in infancy, 
but that was an act of my parents ; I would do it as my own 
act. That was well in its place, but it was not satisfying to 
me. It seemed like a baptism by proxy. 



ABANDONMENT. 93 

The conviction was so abiding I felt it to be of G-od. The 
Spirit at times would come upon me, convincing me of His 
will, and yet give me no light or open way. All I could get 
was, '^ He shall baptize you with the Holy Ghost." That was 
all I had desired. My whole being longed for it, and my one 
thought now was for that. 

When I took my Bible I would say " Lord, baptize me." 
When I would pray, or go into a prayer-meeting, at work 
or on the street, the one cry was, ^' Lord, baptize." After 
a time I began to add, " Lord, I thank Thee that Thou 
dost baptize." 

Through these baptisms I became more familiar with the 
Christ-life, in its humiliation and in its resurrection. Then 
the conviction came for a baptism by immersion, but for 
years no further light was given, until in September, 1871, I 

was, by the providence of God, called to While there 

the words " What doth hinder thee to be baptized ? " often 
came into my soul — at first by the still, small Voice, but, as I 
did not heed it, the teaching and conviction became so clear 
that it would be sin to delay. 

Walking step by step, as the Spirit led, I was, the following 
Lord's day, led out in immersion. From that time I felt a 
more marked line of separation between me and the world, 
from realizing a deeper baptism into Christ's death. Glory 
filled and surrounded me. 

As if to guard my views He at once showed me that I was to 
consider all forms of baptism valid, but give immersion the 
preference ; and yet it is only as the Holy Ghost may meet us 
in any form that we are in the way of blessing. He showed 
me that, as He had met me in the past, in the breaking of 
bread, as fully as He should now do, so was I to meet others in 
fellowship, union with Christ being the only test. 

Some dear ones " who are bound by the letter of the Word " 



94 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

would exclude me from the table of my Lord because of 
Church relations, and yet allow others who love the world and 
the things of the world, who conform to its ways and pleas- 
ures, to come freely. Dearly beloved, " Have ye so learned 
Christ?" '^Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the 
least of these, ye have done it unto Me." 

Praise His dear Name. When we come to the Marriage 
Supper of the Lamb there will be no creed, no sects, and we 
shall in perfect harmony unite to swell the song of the re- 
deemed (Rev. 5). 

When greatly pressed by surroundings I have thought of 
Him who went away alone into the mountain to pray. My 
soul thirsted for like communion. The dear Lord knew my 
desire, and gave according to my needs. But how did He 
give ? Just as His wisdom and love prompted ; often by send- 
ing some heavy trial, that, as a good, helped me into God, 
where T would be raised above the influences under which I 
suffered. 

We little know how God will answer our prayers. Is it not 
mockery to pray, unless we are willing that He shall bring the 
desired blessing as He will ? 

He loves us ; He knows the best and most speedy way possi- 
ble to perfect us and dispose of all our interests as shall tend 
to our eternal joy, as well as His glory. He knows ; He cares ; 
let that satisfy and comfort us ; and as a little child rests in 
its mother's arms, so let us rest in Him, and take what 
His love appoints. 

In the spring of 1868 the Spirit called me to go from place 
to place as a Bible reader. I would unhesitatingly, oh, so 
gladly have accepted such a work from a board of directors, 
and it would have been honorable thus to have gone forth 
with a salary and credentials from the church ; but to go 
alone, with no other testimonial, than His promise ^^to 



ABANDONMENT. 95 

go before me and make the crooked ways straight " (Isa. 
42 : 16), was quite another thing. I was more than ever 
inclined to question what this state of things might lead to. 
I was also tested to see whether the money in my possession 
was really considered to be His. I felt I could not afford to 
pay my own traveling expenses and board, and could not seek 
my living from others. Then I was made to see that all 
belonged to Christ, and I was to use His money, as directed, 
and if thus brought to want or disgrace, had only to accept 
Him in it all. As the conviction deepened I saw that, come 
life or death, I must obey. 

With God's Word in my hand, the sword of the Spirit my 
defense, I went forth at times, not knowing where night 
would overtake me. All I could do, was to follow my Leader, 
moment by moment, from one person, house, church or town 
to another. 

In so doing, as the hours or days passed, I could see that 
the Lord did go before me, and often would so manifest Him- 
self, that I could but adoringly exclaim : '''What hath God 
wrought ! " 

I also found that a faith life (and the Christian may know 
no other) was something more than going to the altar 
and praying for a baptism of the Spirit ; for we may have 
many and mighty baptisms, and not be wholly the Lord's. 

To be His implies that we abandon ourselves to be used as 
He will, trusting Him to supply our wants, as may best please 
Himself. He has promised what is needful, and would have 
us therewith be content (Matt 6 : 25 : 34 ; Heb. 13 : 5). If 
He adds luxuries, praise Him ; but hold all with a loose grasp, 
and if He retake them, praise Him still. The Lord gave, and 
the Lord hath taken away ; blessed be the name of the Lord 
(Job 1 : 21). All preconceived opinions and prejudices of 
our own are given up. Whithersoever He goeth, we follow ; 



96 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

whatsoever He commands, we obey. " Thy will, not mine be 
done." As loving, trusting children of a kind Heavenly 
Father, we can do no less ? 

When evangelists clearly teach holiness as the Scriptures 
teach it, and enforce the same, we shall not see such a super- 
ficial work wrought, and such a sad falling off in times of 
temptation and persecution, as is now too often the case. 
Piles of spurious coin will not equal one piece that has the 
genuine ring ; neither will many half Christians make a 
whole one. 

While on this mission I received many a taunt that was 
sharp and piercing to the flesh, but that only raised the soul 
to heights where it could be alone with God, even in the 
midst of busy life. Thus was the desire of my heart given me. 
Thus, too, I learned more of Him who had not where to lay 
His head, and some seed sown then in weakness has yielded 
fruit to the glory of God. 

A deeper separation from the world, and more of God was 
mine, as at the end of five months He said ^'Enough,'* 
and called me into a less rugged path. 

" God moves in a mysterious way, 
His wonders to perform." 

Eternity alone can reveal to us the importance attached 
to our living under the power and guidance of the Spirit, 
which is freely given to every individual. Eejecting, we rob 
God and our own souls ; acceptmg, we reap eternal riches. 

The promise, "He shall teach you things to come," 
was often verified to me, and I learned that the Holy Spirit in 
His teachings by prophecy, visions or otherwise, is not con- 
fined to any age of the world. When the Holy Spirit has full 
control of an individual, He will make him a medium, through 
which to work out His will. Not a medium for spirits, but 



ABANDONMENT. 97 

for the Spirit of God, who worketh in us ^^both to will 
and to do." 

I was in Pennsylvania and had attended a camp- meeting at 
.... As I was about leaving the ground a party from .... 
came to me and earnestly solicited my going home with them. 
1 accepted the invitation, feeling it to be a call from G-od. 

After I had remained there about three weeks, engaged in 
the work given me, I was one Monday startled by a voice, 
saying to me as it were audibly, *' Do what you have to do 
here, for you are to go to .... on Wednesday afternoon 
at 3 o'clock." There was no public conveyance to this place, 
and to test the voice I determined neither to say or do any- 
thing about going, unless distinctly led. If it was of God, a 
way would open before me ; if not, I should remain where I 
was, for I could only step in the light, and as He went 
before me. 

I began to watch closely, to catch the slightest monitions of 
His will. In the evening it came to me, " Ask Mrs. V. if you 
can have the horse some time to go to ... ." I did so, not 
specifymg the day, or asking as if I had any especial interest 
in the matter. She replied, '' Just now they are very busy 
with the horse on the farm, but after a few days you can have 
it as well as not ; perhaps the last of the week." I was 
satisfied — nay, delighted ; now I had a rare chance to test 
these leadings. Tuesday I still watched the Lord, to see what 
He would or would not do in the matter, and yet not a lisp to 
any one about it, for this might frustrate the work. 

In the evening Mrs said to me, in substance, " The 

men have decided to change their course of operations to- 
morrow ; you can have the horse then, if that will suit you; 
but the days following they will be so busy, it will be impossi- 
ble for you to have it." I saw that God was moving on, and I 
could simply adore. The next morning, to my surprise, I found 



98 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

it raining very hard, and it continued to do so hour after hour. 
About 10 o'clock it came to me, ^' Ask God, that in order to 
accomplish His will, the rain may cease." I said to myself, 
*' How could my prayers stop such a heavy and steady rain ?" 
I was tempted to limit the Holy One (the one sin of 
the children of Israel). 

The response came, " Ask and see." I dared not do other- 
wise. I did ask, simply, as a child, but as well as I knew how. 
It seemed as if I had not a particle of faith, but I reached into 
God as far as I could. I obeyed, and had the conviction that 
it would stop at 12 o'clock. At 12 o'clock the clouds parted, 
and the lady of the house came in and said, " The horse will 
be ready for you immediately after dinner.'^ I smiled, for I 
had not spoken as if I could go. I said to myself, ^' There is 
a catch, for the voice said 3 o'clock ? " " After dinner " came, 
but no horse. I said nothing, and no one knew of my lead- 
ings. I was simply watching God, in Spirit and providences. 
*' If one will watch providences, he will have providences to 
watch." After a long time Mrs. V. came in and said, ^' The 
boy who is to harness the horse has gone, and we cannot find 
him." When the word finally came that all was in readiness, 
I for the first time looked at my watch, and found it was just 
three minutes before 3 o'clock. 

While in this place I met a lady who was entering on a deep 
trial, and was very despondent, feeling that she had but a few 
days to live. It was given to me to go and assure her that 
all was well, she was only to trust. She caught the idea of 
trust; her fears vanished, and she came through the time of 
trial safely. 

I was again in this place, and this sister was sick seemingly 
nigh unto death ; slie expressed a strong desire to see me, 
thinking that somehow I might help her. The friend who 
came, urged me much, saying, she could not go back without 



ABANDONMENT. 99 

me. As I was watching to know the mind of the Lord, while 
we talked, these words were given to me, " This sickness is 
not unto death, but for the glory of God " (John 11 : 4), and 
I was to go and tell her so. 

I felt burdened and powerless. " What if it should not 
prove to be so ? " kept coming to my mind. I saw that this 
arose from a spirit of fear and that the cross was before me. 
I went and gave the message. The Lord sealed the word and 
wrought for His own glory. The following day I called and 
found her sitting up. ^' Said I not unto thee that if thou 
wouldst believe, thou shouldst see the glory of God ? " (John 
11: 40). 

In narrating my leadings, I am not specifying how the Spirit 
of God may lead another, for every individual soul must seek 
the light' and truth for himself, but in every case the indwell- 
ing Spirit is to be the Teacher and Guide, and to obey is more 
than all burnt-offering and sacrifice. Ah ! how many there 
are who, counting on results, sin as did Saul in his reasonings 
(1 Sam. 15). If we profess to take Christ as our wisdom 
(1 Cor. 1 : 30) let our lives prove it. 

Many take large liberty, pleading sanctified judgment and 
common sense. The teaching of the Word is, " Wait thou 
only upon God .... my expectation is from Him (Psalms 
62: 5). 

The Spirit has given us the anointing (1 John 2: 20-27), 
and through that teacheth all things (John 16: 13). The 
reason He is not more fully known in His office work is 
because He is not thus received. We must as truly and as 
fully receive the Holy Ghost in His work as we do that of the 
Father and the Son (John 5:7). The Spirit is all-important 
to us ; for it is only by Him that the life of Christ can be com- 
municated to us (John 16* 14). Many profess this faith, but 



100 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

there are few, comparatively, that give themselves to the 
interior leadings. 

I would that those who are called Spiritualists might realize 
the privilege they have of coming to the Fountain Head for 
teaching. It is not man or spirit, but the unction of the 
Holy One that we want. Some have said to me, " Do not be 
too sure in your leadings ; the spirits do not always see 
rightly, and sometimes bad spirits seek to lead us ; we have to 
make an allowance for that." Ah, how ready the enemy ever 
is to dole out the measures of grace. " Two measures of wheat 
for a penny, and three measures of oil for a penny, and see that 
thou hurt not the oil and the wine " (Rev. 6 : 6), or, like the 
priest and Levite, would leave us starved and dying, while our 
Good Samaritan comes in our time of need and freely pours in 
the oil and the wine "without measure," giving not only new 
life, but also the anointing that reveals a perfect knowledge 
of His will, and all this without money and without price. . 
My brother, my sister, whoever you are, why will you choose 
for your portion the shallow brook that may in time of 
drought fail you, rather than the perennial, overflowing 
Fountain ? 

God hath revealed these things unto us by His Spirit (1 Cor. 
2 : 10). Eeceiving of Him, we increase with the increase of 
God (Col. 2: 19). "Then shall ye know if ye follow on to 
know the Lord." Then again, common sense is so built up 
in fallen nature, it is surprising that any who are Christians 
should stand in its defense. At one time I took my Bible to 
seek for the teaching therein given in reference to this point, 
for we cannot put reasoning before the Word of God. Prayer- 
fully I began what I felt was to be a difficult search, but I had 
gone only to the third chapter of Genesis when I came to 
what people in these days call ^^ sanctified judgment." Eve 
took a common-sense view of the case before her, reasoned 



ABANDONMENT. 101 

well upon it, formed her opinion and acted accordingly. 
What was the result ? (Gen. 3 : 6-14). In the twelfth chapter 
we read of plagues brought upon the house of Pharaoh as a 
result of Abraham's judgment. Lot's judgment, being gov- 
erned by the sight of the eye, led him to choose a home in 
Sodom (Gen. 13: 10-13), and when warned to flee from there 
to the mountain, again he calls in reasoning and pleads for 
" the little city" (Gen. 19: 20), but he soon found that it 
was safer to fully follow the voice of the Lord. 

Isaac reasoned as did his father, and we see the consequent 
evil (26: 7), and so we find in the study of the Word a multi- 
plicity of cases of a similar nature. 

Even our beloved Paul seems to have lost sight of Christ, 
in the experience related in Acts 21: 18, and brought trouble 
thereby. 

But let us refresh ourselves by turning to the other side of 
the picture. Noah must have set aside all reason and com- 
mon sense to have spent so much time and means in building 
the Ark, and for no apparent use (Gen. 7), neglecting his 
ordinary avocation ; he must have lost all influence and been 
branded as a fanatic. 

Let those who oppose extremists, question as to the result 
had he not done this. Extremists, do you say ? Why, if we 
take Christ Jesus as our leader, we follow the greatest 
Extremist the world ever knew. Abraham surely set asid-e all 
human wisdom and reasoning in offering up Isaac, the child 
of promise. Was not the covenant to be established in this 
son ? And yet the Patriarch, clinging not to past teachings, 
in simple, child-like obedience, followed present teachings and 
leadings (Gen. 22). 

Was it sanctified judgment that led Joshua " like a fanatic " 
to go around Jericho morning by morning and then to give 
the shout of victory while yet the walls were firmly standing ? 



102 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

Do we not see God leading the way, and that the judgment 
approving was the consequent rather than the antecedent? 
Do we not see also that we are not to look to ourselves, to 
others or to results, but, obeying God's voice, press forward? 
The eye being "single," the body will be filled with light. 
The promised wisdom is liberally supplied. ''^ In all thy ways 
acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths" (Prov. 
3 : 5-6). " Lean not to thine own understanding." 

The ^' multitude of counselors" is not required now that 
the Holy Ghost is given. The Word is, " He shall teach 
you all things" (John 14: 26). 

Paul in the most important move in his life " conferred not 
with flesh and blood" (Gal. 1: 16), and in the experience of 
the early Christians we see a continual turning to a superior 
power to guide in all things. " When they fasted and prayed, 
the Holy Ghost spake " (Acts 16: 6). They were forbidden of 
the Holy Ghost to preach the Word in Asia (Acts 28 : 2), and 
as they ministered, ''^ the Holy Ghost said," etc. (10: 19). 
" The Holy Ghost said, three men seek for thee." Many like 
passages are given for our encouragement. They expected the 
promised blessing and therefore received it. The early dis- 
ciples were all filled with the Holy Ghost (Acts 4: 31; 10: ].6), 
consequently mighty works were wrought to the glory of God. 
"And ye shall receive power after the Holy Ghost shall come 
upon you^^ (Acts 1: 8). How is it with the Church to-day? 
Eeader, how is it with you ? Man is a puny, helpless being ; 
he needs a leader. Christ Jesus is this to us. *^ Behold I have 
given Him for a leader and commander to the people " (Isa. 
55: 4). He has become our wisdom (1 Cor. 1: 30) and will keep 
to the front and manifest Himself unto us so long as we will 
abandon all opinions and preferences of our own and heartily 
follow His leadings. 

Eev. Dr. Clarke says, ^*To one carefully studying the Word 



ABANDONMENT. 103 

of God, this abandonment is safe, but many will make their 
impulses a substitute for the teaching, guiding and leading of 
the Spirit in the Word ... If the Word of Christ dwell in us 
richly, then the Holy Spirit will help us to apply it to our 
needs, dangers, duties and emergencies grandly." 

I find that my safety lies in implicitly following the Lord 
alone, and whenever I have turned to consult mortals, expect- 
ing light from them, have suffered for it, and find deep and 
increased meaning in the teaching, " Cease from man whose 
breath is in his nostrils" (Isa. 2: 22). When, at the call of 
God, we may consult another, all is well, but we may or may 
not be called to accept their teaching. We only know that 
some point in obedience is gained thereby and are still to wait 
on God, and not only wait, but watch. The Franciscan who 
was led to Madame Guy on had the truth. " Seek God within 
and you will not fail to find Him there." 

Some claim that we are to receive the messages brought to 
us and to see God in the messenger as taught in 1 Peter 5: 5, 
" Submit yourselves one to another." I claim that we are to 
receive God in all that comes into our lives, but we must wait 
upon Him to learn what all may mean to us individually, 
otherwise we are open to error, lose our individuality, and also 
put puny mortal in the place of God. Does He not give the 
precious teaching, " Ye need not that any man teach you, but 
as the same anoicting teacheth you all things, and is truth, 
and is no lie, and even as it hath taught you, ye shall abide in 
Him" (1 John 2: 27). "He shall teach you all things" 
(John 14: 26). If, on the other hand, God does in the soul 
endorse the teaching given, we are to accept it though our own 
wisdom and prudence might reject it. If the teaching does 
not come from the Christ within us, and harmonize with the 
Word, we can only see it as a test and stand firmly in God, 
and however much we may love the Peter who may come to 



104 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

US, mast boldly command the Satan to get behind us 
(Matt. 16 : 23). 

At different times those regarded as strong religious leaders ■ 
in spiritual things have come to me with words that I believe 
they sincerely thought to be of God. I met the messengers 
courteously, and meekly received the message, but having dif- 
ferent light from them, have left messenger and message with 
the Lord and passed on in increased liberty. 

I was at one time almost overwhelmed by a sense of the 
dangers in the way, but fleeing to the Helper of the helpless, 
I saw that I might not have any fear. *' There shall no evil 
befall thee." " Be not afraid, only believe." Ever allowing 
command and promise to be lived out in our lives, we shall be 
able to stand in the evil day and be perfected through the 
testings given. 

Goodknight says, ^'If there be dangers in walking in the 
Holy Ghost, how much more imminent the danger when 
not thus walking. If we reject the Spirit as our guide, we say 
to God, ' We need not your help ; we will fight the battle 
single-handed and alone.' But when we accept the Holy 
Spirit to guide us in all our ways, thoughts, feelings and 
desires, we confess our weakness, blindness, deafness, ignor- 
ance and lost condition, with enemies too strong for us to 
resist. We confess that the Holy Spirit is able to take away 
our blindness and deafness, and lead us out of our wilderness, 
and conquer all our enemies." 

" The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose, 
I will not, I will not desert to its foes ; 
That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake, 
I'll never, no never, no never forsake." 

In Ecce Homo we find the following : ^'But, say the cau- 
tious, is it safe to follow a mere enthusiasm ? If Christ is to 
be believed, it is not safe to follow anything else. According 



ABANDONMENT. 105 

to him, the Spirit was expressly given to guide into all truth. 
But, they will rejoin — and here the truth conies out — We like 
to feel the stay of a written precept; we are not conscious of 
any such ardent impulse directing us infallibly what to do. 
In reply to which, what can we do but repeat the question of 
St. Paul, ^Into what then were ye baptized ? ' " (Acts 19: 3). 

" I would not have the restless will 
That hurries to and fro ; 
Seeking for some great thing to do, 
Or secret thing to know. 
I would be treated as a child, 
And guided where I go. 

In a service which Thy will appoints 

There are no bonds for me ; 

For my inmost heart is taught the truth 

That makes Thy children free ; 

And a life of self-renouncing love 

Is a life of liberty. " 



106 STEPPINGS IN GOD, 



CHAPTER IX. 

COMPLETE IN HIM. 

" If thou wilt diligently hearken to the voice of the Lord thy G-od and 

wilt do that which is right in His sight I will put none of those 

diseases upon thee which I have brought upon the Egyptians, for I am the 
Lord that healeththee."— (Ex. 15 : 26.) 

Following the Holy Spirit as Teacher and Griiide, I was 
ere long made to see that not only soul and spirit, but also 
the body with its weaknesses and diseases was to be left with 
God. Claiming the full benefits of the atonement, whatever 
the outward condition, I was to have no carefulness. So long 
as I walked in the Spirit all would be well. 

In the year 1859, I was seriously ill. I cared not to live, 
and yet I was just beginning to value life for Christ's sake, 
and it became to me a serious question, what course should I 
pursue with the diseased and suffering body. Waiting on the 
Lord, I was led to take my Bible. 

As I did so I said to myself, " There is nothing there that 
can tell me what to do ; ! if I only knew what Jesus wants." 
Opening the Book my eyes at once fell upon these words: 
"The prayer of faith shall save the sick" (Jas. 5: 15). I 
read and re-read. My attention had never before been called 
to this verse. I questioned as to what it might mean to me. 
Make Jesus my physician — could it be that ? The blessed 
Spirit was showing me of the things of Christ. The promise, 
" My grace is sufiicient for thee," was given me (3 Cor. 12 : 9). 
When I first accepted the Lord He had shown me that I was 
to go through life on this assurance. It met my present need. 



COMPLETE IN HIM. 107 

and I said " Yes, Jesus ; Jesus is enough." He who healed 
all who came to Him, now called me and gladly I gave the 
case into His care. Soon after a simple remedy was suggested 
to me by the still small voice. I had never heard of it before, 
but accepting it, at once felt the power of disease was broken, 
and from that hour began to amend. From that time Jesus 
only has been my physician. 

Some may say I do wrong in setting aside means. Most 
decidedly do I advocate means, but those only as given of the 
Lord. The written Word specifies these to be united prayer 
(Matt. 18 : 19); laying on of hands (Mark 16 : 18); anointing 
with oil (Jas. 5 : 14, 15), and walking in the Spirit (Gal. 5 : 
16). Any of these are potent as called forth of God. He 
prescribes as He will, but seldom in any way that would satisfy 
human wisdom as being adequate to the case ; often quite the 
reverse, yet effectual to the accomplishing of His desires, and 
always bringing a fresh anointing to the soul. 

We lay our indwelling as well as actual sin upon Jesus and 
recognize it as no longer ours (1 John 1 : 7). Does not the 
promise as fully include actual and hereditary diseases and 
physical ills, and shall they not be disposed of in like manner, 
that Christ may more fully be made known to us ? 

Does not the Word say, ''The blood cleanseth!" "The 
prayer of faith shall save the sick " (Jas. 5:15); " That Him- 
self took our infirmities ? " (Matt. 8 : 17). 

Though our temptations may be heavy and long continued, 
may we so acknowledge redemption through Christ Jesus, 
that He may in our onward progress " look upon the travail 
of His soul and be satisfied " (Isa. 53 : 11). 

The spiritual house which we are co-operating with God to 
build can only be perfected in His plan. When the earthly 
house shall be dissolved, we shall see glory in all and be more 
than satisfied with all the steppings that have been given us. 



108 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

Some of the teachings given are hard to be understood, even 
as they were to the Jews (John 6 : 6*5), but let us not turn 
away, but in holy confidence press on in Christ the living 
way. Does any one desire to take Jesus as healer and yet feels 
he knows not the way? Just come to Him in holy confidence 
as you would for spiritual blessings. If the Spirit indites 
" the prayer of faith," at once begin to act the faith (see 
James 2), and, " all things being equal," He will do for you 
beyond all you can ask or even think. 

Those who are baptized of the Spirit and are enabled to 
say, '•' A body hast Thou prepared me," " Lo ! I come to 
do Thy will," they, and only they, are on promise ground. 
To such the blessed Teacher and Redeemer will, hour by hour, 
impart of the riches of His grace as the present highest good 
demands. 

As in the soul so in the body, the man of sin is often 
more fully revealed after believing prayer. All we have to do 
is to claim the benefits of the atonement and wait in God 
until the full victory is wrought. 

One Lord's day afternoon, in the summer of 1881, I went 
to a Bible class where the topic for the day was " Faith." 
Not being able to get much from the remarks, I turned to 
meet God interiorly. After waiting thus for a time it came 
to me to transpose the word Faith into " taking hold on God." 
Thus, for instance, "The just shall live, by taking hold 
on God." " Without taking hold on God, it is impossible to 
please Him." "Taking hold on God is the confidence of 
things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen," etc. Dear 
" shut-in " one, are you of the justified ? then with new cour- 
age take hold on God, and as you do so, may you be made to 
know that " This prayer shall save." 

In seeking any blessing it is first faith and then the rest of 
faith. "We, therefore, which have believed do enter into 
rest" (Heb. 4: 3). 



COMPLETE IN HIM. 109 

Having in faith left onr case with the Lord, we may have 
no care about it, and must be wholly indifferent to symptoms ; 
watching to know the will of God, heartily obey. 

At a recent convention Dr. Cullis, after anointing with oil, 
said, " We have claimed out and out a distinct promise. The 
position for us now to assume is, * I am healed, praise G-od.' 
Praise Him that He has healed you this hour. Do not look 
at your symptoms, they may not have disappeared, but what 
of that ? They are not the disease, but only its effects. They 
will change in God's own time, but He has touched the root 
of the disease, whatever it be. Believe the Word, ^What 
things soever ye desire when ye pray, believe that ye have 
received and ye shall have them'" {N. Y- — Mark 11 : 24). 

If He calls to the use of means, other than the Word has 
prescribed, gladly we accept, and yet on this point we have 
need to be guarded, as our feelings, habits of life, Satan, and, 
perhaps, surrounding influences, all combine to mislead us. The 
way of obedience, be it by the way of the cross or otherwise, 
is the way into the more abundant life. 

If in our waiting, the soul remains a blank, let it be so, until 
He please to let light down upon the way. The narrative 
recorded in 2 Ohron. 20 : 22, teaches us how mightily God 
works through simplest means, when the battle is fully left 
with Him. 

Dr. Simpson says, " Take the full Word, whatever it may be, 
stand firm if it be an hour or a life-time ...... Is God upon 

your side ? Have you the Judge on His bench to decide for 
you ? Is the court of Heaven open to you ? Can you claim 
exemption from the power of the adversary as a right ? Ought 
you to be loosed from your infirmity ? Then fig^t on, hold 
on, and it shall be given. ^ When shall I shout the victory?' 
Just as soon as you can shout, do so. There is a trying to 
shout that is a failure, but there is a shout welling up from 
the heart " that terrifies the foe. 



110 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

If our first apprehension of faith-healing is from a physical 
stand-point, we incline to think that all who believe in the all- 
sufficiency of Christ may instantly receive the manifestation 
of healing through the appropriating faith, but as we pass 
on into deeper spiritual life and affiliate more with the Divine 
mind concerning us, we learn that the ^* new wine must be 
put into new bottles." The one all-absorbing desire is to be 
dead to all but Jesus. Being fully baptized into Christ, we 
are baptized into His death, and can no longer choose our 
states. We no longer see the old man with its fleshly desires 
and diseases, but the new man created in Christ Jesus, and in 
the new life which we by faith receive we press on to appre- 
hend all that for which we are apprehended of Christ Jesus 
(Phil. 3: 12). 

Eeceiving life and light from this higher plane, we lose 
sight of material things, and all testings from whatever source 
are but as the voice of G-od to ^' Come up higher,^' and trust- 
ing all our interests with Him, seeing no second causes, the 
response of the entire being is, ^^ I come to Thy will, my 
God." 

for holy daring to press on into all the possibilities of 
grace for us, however imparted. We have commenced a devel- 
opment for the ages to come ; let us not mar or hinder the work 
by clinging to former opinions, but each day take the lesson 
of the day, as newly given of the spirit, whether it be a repe- 
tition of the old, or a new one, it is the needful one at the time 
in which it is given. 

Having left body and soul with the Lord, so long as we 
remain in full obedience and trust, all is well, but Satan will 
often appear to us as an angel of light and strive to make us 
believe that we are under his power. At times we may feel 
very ill — perhaps seem to be in a dying state — but feelings 
and seemings must be ignored while we press into God our 



COMPLETE IN HTM. Ill 

^'Eefuge." Though Satan may cause us to suffer, he can 
never bring real disease upon one who is fully and constantly 
recognizing the work of the Atonement. If in the conflict 
God should call us home, the neiu man triumphs, the purpose 
of life is met, and all is well. 

Does any one say there is no difference between the position 
of such an one and one who goes, recognizing disease ? I ask. 
Is there no difference between acknowledging Satan as ruler, 
or Christ as the All in All ? " His servants ye are whom ye 
obey." We seek a redemption that fully triumphs over the 
body. In order to this we are commanded to '' Reckon our- 
selves as alive unto God through Christ Jesus and our mem- 
bers as instruments of righteousness" (Rom. 6). A saint 
and a sinner may be each at his work in the field — their work 
is seemingly alike, and yet the Word tells us that " The 
ploughing of the wicked is sin " (Prov. 21: 4). Of the other, 
it is said, ^^ Whatsoever he doeth shall prosper" (Ps. 1). Is 
there not a real, though unseen, difference ? Satan can coun- 
terfeit anything ; therefore, in the conflict we need to be on 
our guard, and continually yield the body to God lest we mis- 
take temptation for disease and come under his power. In 
the seemings we can only see the enemy's lie. Keeping the 
soul filled with praise, and reckoning ourselves dead to all but 
Christ, we shall be of the overcomers, and in the end inherit 
the "All things" (Rev. 21: 7). 

Jesus ever delighted in the will of the Father, hence hidden 
behind the impenetrable wall of promise, angels were to bear 
Him up and protect Him from all evil (Ps. 91). Yet He 
came to the time when His all seemed wrecked. The beloved 
disciple might have said to him, " Master, we have believed 
that Thou art the Messiah, and we have left all to follow 
Thee. It does not become Thee now to fall before difficul- 
ties ; how then should we know in whom we had believed ? 



112 vSTEPPINGS IN GOD. 

The promise is Thine, it is for Thee to subdue these evils." 
Still the one cry was, " I delight to do Thy will, my God." 
His mind was not taken up with trying to harmonize Scrip- 
ture with His experience, but with the will of God as interiorly 
revealed. To this state He brings us. As He was lost to the 
external, so may we be, and however the promise may seem to 
be broken, we will triumph in God over all, even death itself, 
for ** All things" are ours. 

Oftentimes I have been seemingly very ill and my symptoms 
very threatening, and all from no apparent cause, when, too, 
I have been most clear in my walk with God. While I would 
seek healing God would hide Himself as if there were no God, 
and it would seem as if I was entirely abandoned to evil, but 
falling back into Him, asking Him to accept all and use it for 
the kingdom, blessing would come into the soul. In His own 
good time the clouds would part, and I would come into light 
and power, fitted for some work that was just opening, that I 
otherwise could not have successfully met. 

" Now we see not the bright light which is in the clouds ; 
but the winds passeth and cleanseth them" (Job 37 : 21). We 
also may at times have seeming illness thrown upon us in 
behalf of others, and thus perform very important work for 
the kingdom, though we may not always see it thus at the 
time, or know for whom or why we suffer. We have only to 
press all into God, and thus more fully enter into fellowship 
with Him who came to suffer in our stead. God is faithful, 
and in His own Divine moment will send deliverance. 

"The covenant that I have made with you ye shall not for- 
get; neither shall ye fear other gods, but the Lord your God 
ye shall fear; and He shall deliver you out of the hand of all 
your enemies" (2 Kings 17: 38, 39). 

Our religious education has been so egregiously wrong on 
this point, and skepticism so abounds, the enemy has a strong 



COMPLETE IN HIM. 113 

hold upon us, and we have need to " Come boldly to the Throne 
of G-race " and " stand fast in the liberty wherewith Christ 
hath made us free," that we become not again entangled. 

It may be through repeated steppings and many seeming 
failures that we become victorious, but keeping the eye on 
God, desiring only His glory, we shall triumph in His will. 
Satan is the prince of this world, and, as in Jesus' name we 
press on through his dominions, we may expect he will, in every 
possible way, strive to overcome us, and those most firmly 
fixed in God may expect the fiercest combats. God is with- 
out doubt thus perfecting our faith, using whatever instru- 
ments He may deem most effectual. Some claim that He 
may perfect His children without the help of the powers of 
darkness, and that we are wrong in allowing it. Theories are 
crusty things. Christ could never have been perfected and 
the work of redemption made real to us, but through this 
instrumentality. Our crucifixion must be as real, and through 
any means our Lord appoints, that we may become like our 
Living Head. 

When He deems it best, He seems to hide Himself as if 
there were no G-od, and at times give us a hand to hand en- 
gagement with the foe, and that perhaps a long-continued 
one. Thus we learn to live by faith and to rest upon His 
promise, even as Himself. " Abraham believed God, and it 
was accounted to him for righteousness." 

" Ye have need of patience that after ye have done the will 
of God ye might receive the promise" (Heb. 10: 36). 

We may well '^rejoice in distresses" ^^that the power of 
Christ may rest upon us," though we may wait long in the 
" afterward " for the peaceable fruits to appear. 

Very many times has the Lord proved Himself to be my 
Shield and my Deliverer when mortal help would have failed. 

He is peculiarly near to those who feel there can be help in 
Him alone. 



114 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

To show that He is not dependent upon visible means 
to accomplish His work, I will relate an experience of 
the past. 

One evening in my twilight communings I was called to lie 
in God's hand so perfectly passive that nothing that might 
come to me would cause distress or alarm me.* I saw that 
nothing should be allowed to move me. Then came the ques- 
tion, *•' Are you willing again to step into the shade? " I felt 
that some trial was awaiting me. I was just coming up from 
an attack of hemorrhage of the lungs, and the flesh shrank 
from another period of suff'ering. But the Spirit, ever war- 
ring against the flesh, enabled me to say : " I can trust Thy 
wisdom and Thy love. So long as Thou hast said, ^ As thy 
days so shall thy strength be' (Deu. 33: 25), why need I fear ? 
Lord, I am Thine ; do with me as Thou wilt." He then said : 
" Are you willing to follow Me through Avhat may seem to be 
a circuitous route ? " 

I answered : " Lord, I trust Thee ; Thou hast said, ^ No 
evil shall befall thee ; ' only lead Thou me on, hold me up, 
help me, and I will follow." Then came the words, like sil- 
very music : " Only be transparent — so transparent that only 
God can be seen in you ; no disease, no danger, no doubt, no 
self ; nothing but God filling a surrounding ! " 

I left all with the Lord, and, passing to other duties, soon 
forgot the exercise, until a few hours later, when I laid my 
head upon the pillow for the night, the blood again began to 
rush into my mouth. I looked to the Lord to see if it was 
in His order, when the voice quietly said : "■ Be transparent; 
only see God in all." 

For some minutes the flow continued, causing coughing 
and choking, temperature falling lower and lower, until 
shivers ran through my body. The thought came to me, '' 1 
am losing my life's blood; but this, too, is service for God." 



COMPLETE IN HIM. 115 

It is precious to serve Him in His own divinely appointed 
way. Angels can do no more. 

In the following days, as I could only communicate ideas 
by whispers and signs, also being held far away from family 
friends, the way began to be very heavy to me ; and again I 
looked to the Lord to see if all was right and in His order. In 
a very comforting manner the words came : " Oast not away 
your confidence, which hath great recompense of reward." 
Also, "We are made partakers of Christ if we hold the begin- 
ning of our confidence steadfast unto the end." Again I was 
stilled ; the words often coming to me, " Be silent unto God, 
and let Him mould thee" (Luther's translation of Psalm 
37: 7). If we allow a doubt or fear to come in, Satan gets the 
ascendency, and we fail. While God has full control. He can 
accomplish all His will." 

One morning, on awaking, it came to me : *' Take Christ, 
and partake of Him." 

I saw the Spirit was bringing Jesus to me in healing, and 
said : " I do take Thee, Christ. 0, if I only knew how to 
do as Thou dost desire ! " 

It was given to me ^*As you would any gift from a friend." 

I said, ^^Yes, I do. I have Christ. I have Him in my 
weak lungs, and in my body. I do not see Thee, do not feel 
Thee, but Thou seest that I lean on Thee. It is all I can do. " 
Thus I continued for hours, often saying, "Dear Jesus, 
I'm leaning, I'm leaning." 

In the afternoon it came to me, " Dress warmly, and go 
out." I was so feeble, and the March winds bleak, that I 
questioned — not with self or friends, but God. As the impres- 
sion continued with me, I asked Ilim to take the thought 
from me, as I should move to obedience, if it was not of Him. 
As there was no check upon me, I went out, and on, until I 
reached the house of a friend as directed. Here I lay down 



116 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

an hour, then walked back, but 0, so tired ! I ached to the 
ends of my fingers, and was greatly tempted to feel that I had 
done wrong, and should again have hemorrhage. I persist- 
ently abandoned all to God, and asked to be kept from all 
fear, and in perfect trust and peace. For two hours my 
symptoms were such that I suffered greatly being tempted. 

The next morning it was again given me, ''Take Christ 
as you would take a gift from a friend ; " and I did so. 

In the afternoon I was called to walk to the same place. 
Again I questioned. The weather was more unpleasant than 
on the previous day. I saw that it was of God. I said, " Yes, 
I obey ; the consequences are all Thine." I had walked but 
a little way when the power of God began to rest upon me. I 
went to my friend's house and talked an hour (the previous 
day I dared not talk at all, I was so prostrated), then re- 
turned, read half an hour, sewed with the utmost ease — in a 
word, went about the house the same that I did before I was 
sick, conscious that I was healed ; every whit made whole. 

I would so care for the body that I may render a good ac- 
count of my stewardship, yet if called of God to exposure or 
overexertion, would, as in all things else, unhesitatingly obey, 
for only thus can we be kept in His plan and power. He will 
be responsible for results. 

As temptations often follow especial spiritual quickenings, 
so when one has been markedly exercised in grace exteriorly, 
.physical disturbances very often arise, but we are not to be 
moved by them. 

Many times I have seemed to be very ill, but seeing Jesus 
only have often had wonderful manifestations of God's loving 
care over me. 

When faith became quickened by the Spirit, and therefore I 
knew I was asking according to His will, and necessarily had 
the petition (1 John 5 : 14, 15), at once I could go forth into 



COMPLETE IN HIM. 117 

the light and work, and soon be made free through the new 
influx of Divine life. 

If as we go on in the way, the Lord through us should 
stretch forth His hand to heal others, all glory be to His 
name ! The quickening power of the Spirit that accompanies 
the work clearly proves it to be of Divine power. The prom- 
ise is, "■ These signs shall follow them that believe .... 
they shall lay hands on the sick and they shall recover (Mark 
16 : 18). Jukes in his "Differences of the Four Gospels," 
says, " I believe many have yet to learn what has been and 
what ought to be the effect in the touch of the hand of God's 
servants. I know the laying on of hands is now regarded by 
many as a mere form. I will only say, time was, when virtue 
accompanied the hand of God's servants ; nay ! when even 
the shadow of an apostle could heal. It will not hurt us to 
remember, even if the glory is now departed from us, that 
such things have once been. And this I will add, that as the 
day seems to be returning, when devils are rebuked and lame 
ones healed, those who look closely will see that a tender hand 
is not wanting in such service. But where, as one has asked, 
are the layers on of hands, who gives man back to himself 
and God by the casting out of devils ? Where are the clergy 
to whom sick ones make their last appeal for health ? We 
find them among the fishermen of the first century, but only 
one here and there among our priests now. Many say that 
the age of miracles is past. But Christianity as we find it in 
the Scriptures was the institution of miracle, and if the age of 
miracle be well-nigh gone, is it not because the age of Chris- 
tianity is well-nigh gone ? The age of mathematics would be 
past, if no man cultivated them. " 

If the Spirit of the Lord is upon us calling us to anointing 
with oil, or to the prayer He may indite, let us in obedience 
meet Him and all is well ; failing to do this we are verily 
guilty before God. 



118 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

In regard to the anointing with oil, do you say that you are 
not an elder ? I reply, you are, if the Lord so calls. In the 
new covenant of grace He writes His law upon our hearts, and 
choicest blessings will be on those who follow fully. 

As the latter day dawns upon us, opening truths long 
sealed, let us in holy purpose press on into them, that we as 
members be glorified with our Head. 

Says an able writer, " To make complete the redemption of 
humanity, it was needful that man should triumph on the 
very field where man had fallen, and over every foe to which 
man had been subjected." 

God grant that " the eyes of ^ our ' understanding may be 
enlightened ; that ^ we ' may know the hope of His calling, 
and the riches of the glory of the inheritance, and what the 
exceeding greatness of His power to us-ward who believe 
. . . . which He wrought in Christ when He raised Him from 
the dead " (Eph. 1 : 18, 19). 

Jukes says, " All things seem to show that a new day is 
breaking, and the latter rain is being poured out, and souls 
are awakening to expect greater things from God, their 
Saviour. He has all gifts and grace laid up for us, but the 
measure in which we receive these things from Him depends, 
under God, upon what we feel of our need, and what we ex- 
pect from Him. If we expect little, we get little. If we ex- 
pect more, we get more. 

But all receiving is connected with a corresponding empty- 
ing of self in one form or another, and all emptyings of self 
are trying to flesh and blood. They may come in diff'erent 
ways, but whenever and however it may be, they open conti- 
nents of weakness and folly in us, of which, till the trial 

came, we were unconscious I must be less and less in 

my own eyes and in the eyes of others. The Lord must be 
more and more in me, and if He is so, there must be a cross. 
He that is near Him, is near the fire that consumes all that is 



COMPLETE IN HIM. 119 

not of Him I feel, therefore, that in order to belong 

really to those who overcome and are set on the Throne of 
the Lamb, as He is set on the Father's throne, we need to be 
emptied and stripped of all, and to receive Him who knocks 
at the door in a different way from that in which we have re- 
ceived Him hitherto. Therefore, thanks be to Him for 
emptyings of any sort." 

' ' O, for a faith that will not shrink, 
Though pressed by every foe ; 
That will not tremble on the brink 
Of any earthly woe. 

Lord, give us such a faith as this, 
And then, whate'er may come. 
We'll taste, e'en here, the hallowed bliss 
Of an eternal home." 



120 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 



CHAPTER X. 

FANATICISM. 

" Whether it be right in the sight of God to hearken unto you more than 
unto God, judge ye."— (Acts 4: 19.) 

Some of the most bitter drops in my cup have, at the time 
in which they were given, seemed entirely uncalled for and not 
of God, but in bowing and yielding to Him in all, each has 
proved to be in blessing. The stumbling-blocks have been 
stepping-stones in grace, and of all my experiences, these are 
the brightest on memory's page, because revealing to me more 
of Him who is my life, and I have thus learned to adore 
His purposes without knowing them. 

" I know thy burden, child ; I shaped it, 
Poised it in Mine own hand, made no proportion 
In its weight to thine unaided strength ; 
For even as I laid it on I said, 
I shall be near, and while she leans on Me, 
This burden shall be Mine, not hers." 

The Father is behind all ; " He created the smith that 
bloweth the coals in the fire, and the waster to destroy '' (Isa. 
54: 16). He goeth before us and openeth the way in which 
we meet the trials that, as one has said, " are as angels to 
beckon us to our God." 

I cannot be surprised that many reject the views as given to 
us, fearing lest they become peculiar and be led to walk in 
seemingly strange ways, yet God will hold each one responsi- 
ble, not only for the truth they have, but for what they, by daily 
searching, may have. ^^ Some will not take truth for authority, 



FANATICISM. 121 

but want authority for truth/' ^' Have any of the Scribes be- 
lieved on Him ?" 

I once felt that to be called a fanatic was like the anathema 
of God, a blot on God's heritage, but in the sense in which the 
term is now applied, we may glory in it that the power of 
Christ may rest upon us (2 Cor. 12 : 9). 

The advocates of a religion pure and undefiled have always 
been thus met, as they have stood in the power of the Holy 
Ghost. The Word says, " On their part He is evil spoken of, 
but on your part He is glorified." Let them that suffer ac- 
cording to the will of God commit the keeping of their souls 
to Him in well doing" (1 Peter, 4: 19.) "He is faithful that 
promised" (Heb. 10: 23.) "In due season ye shall reap if ye 
faint not" (Gal. 6:9). 

In " Patience of Hope " I find the following : " How many 
of the sparks at which great fires have been kindled, even now 
enlightening and warming the world, have been struck from 
the hearts and brains of men counted fools and fanatics in 
their own generation." 

In following fully, we are regarded by the Church at large 
much as the Jews regarded the early Christians, and many are 
forced to go without the camp bearing the reproach of our 
Leader. 

This was markedly shown to me in the summer of 1873, 
when one whom I felt had gone inta error, in speaking of my 
position in the church, made the remark that I could not have 
power there; If I had, I cou]d not use it, and it would soon 
die out. I opposed his views. He replied : " I have been 
through it all, and so have many that I could name, but we 
were crowded out, and now stand where we can have freedom 
in testimony and take advanced steps." 

I at once felt this is not right. We must lay claim for ad- 
vanced testimony in the church, and I said : "I am in the 
church and, God helping me, I will live out there whatever 



122 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

experience He gives me." Where could He more markedly 
manifest Himself than there? It was not right that His dear 
ones should be forced to silence or tempted into Satan's ranks. 
I say the same now, but I have learned to draw a line be- 
tween a church of forms and creeds, perhaps ruled by those 
seeking social and business advantages and the church which 
is invisible, composed only of obedient and trusting ones, who 
follow the blessed Spirit as teacher and guide. 

A few weeks after this I was led to a ^^ Union Holiness Con- 
vention " in All moved quietly for a few days, when 

a burden came on my soul, in reference to our making aggress- 
ive movements for the kingdom. The demands of Scriptural 
holiness were not met in our meetings. As a rule, the many who 
attended remained on the same low plane of experience year 
after year, with no seeming advance beyond sweet testimonies. 
These were also freely given by those who apparently had no 
separation from the world and who seemed unmindful of the 
command, ^^ Follow Me," or of the fact that if we lived apos- 
tolic lives we must in unity claim and seek apostolic power. 

It seemed to be laid upon me to relate an experience of the 
previous winter, but I felt the people were not ready for it ; 
they could not receive it, and I questioned the Lord about it, 
lest I be led on by the enemy. 

In waiting upon Him thus to try the spirit, Isa. 50 : 7 was 
given to me again and again in great power, and how could I 
longer doubt ? " For the Lord God will help me, therefore 
shall I not be confounded, therefore have I set my face like a 
flint and I know that I shall not be ashamed." Still I waited 
before the Lord. The burden was so intensified that for two 
days and nights I was made very ill, until I determined if God 
would give me strength, I would go forward, let the result be 
what it might. It seemed like meeting death to face it and 
to refuse longer, worse than death. 

That afternoon there was an experience meeting. I went, 



FANATICISM. 123 

resting on the promise, feeling that I had a baptism to be 
baptised with and straitened nntil it be accompHshed. When 
the proper time seemed to have arrived/ 1 arose and spoke of 
the need of onr moving on in the way. Satan was counter- 
feiting Christ's power, and Spiritualists were taking the ground 
that belonged to the church. The Spirit, the Word, and 
perishing souls demanded an advance. I felt great opposition 
while speaking, yet I went on to say that during the past 
winter this truth had been made more apparent to me. 

I had been led to a lady who for over two years had been 
confined to her bed, and who was at the time seemingly near 
death, and was so bound of Satan that she had lost sight of 
the joy of the Lord. 

As I prayed with her from day to day, I saw it was the mind 
of the Lord to heal her, and yet there was no visible change, no 
ray of hope in her soul. I had prayed the prayer of faith, yet 
the power was withheld. 

I waited on the Lord to know why this was so, when it was 
given me, " And they shall lay hands on the sick and they 
shall recover" (Mark 16:18). I saw I was called to this act 
and responsible before God if not obedient. The next time I 
called, I laid my hands on her, in prayer, and then calling her 
by name, reverently said, '^ In the name of the Lord you are 
healed ; He will not bless you any longer on that pillow. In 
the name of the Lord you must arise." 

The power of the Lord then came upon her and from that 
hour she began to amend, and the praises of God again filled 
her soul. 

When I had spoken thus far, one of the Lord's dear chosen 
ones arose, and, interrupting me, addressed the ministry, de- 
manding that this thing be stopped. Another, a prominent 
leader in the ranks, came forward, and denounced the whole 
thing as seeming blasphemy. 



124 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

In Christ's life we find the parallel, " And they thrust him 
out" (Luke 4: 29). 

Bunyan says : " The Word and Spirit of God come some- 
times like chain-shot to us, as if they would cut all down, — as 
when Abraham was to offer up Isaac. Oh, how willingly 
would our flesh and blood escape the cross of Christ." 

What was I to think of the promise that had been given to 
me, on which I had confidently leaned ? I looked at once to 
the Lord ; it was still given to me, and I was taken into the 
joy of the Lord beyond what I had ever conceived of, and my 
soul was filled with smiles and sunshine. 

The event caused great disturbance for a time, and seemed 
to destroy the entire usefulness of the meeting. Where was 
the fault ? Had I in all my seeking failed to get the mind of 
God ? Is it only the mighty who are called ? Could Satan, 
or self, have thus led me ? If so, where is the force of the 
promises, '•' He shall teach you?" '^ Call upon Me and I will 
answer thee," " He shall guide thee continually," " In all thy 
ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths." Could 
the enemy so fill the soul with blessing in the valley of humili- 
ation ? How was it with those who opposed the testimony ? 
If they were in the will of God, the promise to them was 
'^ perfect peace." Was it manifested in them ? Not so. 

I had forsaken all for Christ, and gladly too, but had not 
once thought I was ever to be severed from those whom I had 
considered of the advance guard for the kingdom ; but it was 
needful, '^ It is enough for the servant that he be as his 
Master." '^ And they all forsook Him, and fled." 

In the following months, when in feebleness I was laid aside 
from active service, my sufferings were greatly intensified by 
the adversary bringing up the past, telling me I had thrown 
myself away, as I had been so publicly denounced no 
one would receive me, and that my work in behalf of the 
kingdom was at an end. 



FANATICISM. 125 

I did not know it was Satan's voice, and questioned much 
as to the way, but continually pressing all into God, in due 
time saw that I truly was in His will, and learned more fully 
to leave responsibilities and results with Him, to " cease from 
man whose breath is in his nostrils ; " consequently I became 
stronger in courage, and a holy boldness was given me that I 
had never before known. The blessings growing out of this 
experience have so multiplied that I can never praise God 
enough for the lesson, and can now understand the meaning 
of the promise given, when called forth in testimony. 

Of Jesus it is said: "It pleased the Lord to bruise Him." 
" He hath put Him to grief, when thou shall make His soul an 
ojffering for sin. He shall see His seed, He shall prolong His 
days, and the pleasure of the Lord shall prosper in His hands. 
He shall see of the travail <ir His soul, and shall be satisfied. 
By His knowledge shall My righteous servant justify many, 
for He shall bear their iniquities. Therefore will I divide 
Him a portion with the great, and He shall divide the spoil 
with the strong, because He hath poured out His soul unto 
death. He was numbered with the transgressors, and He 
bore the sin of many, and made intercession for the trans- 
gressors. " 

As we pass on in the risen life we enter upon the various 
states of Christ, and must ever be ready to press the lips 
against the chalice for the bitter drops. " The cup that my 
Father giveth me shall I not drink it? " 

'' And no man could learn that song, but the hundred and 
forty and four thousand which were redeemed from the earth 
.... These are they which follow the Lamb whithersoever 
Hegoeth"(Rev. 14: 3, 4). 

Few, I think, would fail to see that the interests of the 
kingdom demand that believers march fearlessly forward in 
aggressive movements as the Spirit may lead. This is what 
the early disciples did, and hence they went forth in power. 



126 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

Satan is aroused by this, for he does not like us to get out of 
ruts. One has well said, '^ Ruts are the devil's cradle to rock 
Christians to sleep in." If hell is aroused, so much the 
better. Rutherford says : " A sleeping devil is more to be 
feared than a roaring one." 

Entire consecration, to my mind, is yielding all the powers 
to God for Him to control as He will, and this surrender is to 
be a continual one, and the obedience prompt and cheerful. 
Unless the holiness taught is based upon this principle, I can- 
not receive it as the teaching, and as that which is needful to 
complete the entire sanctification of the soul and body 
(I Thess. 5 : 23). Teaching for doctrine the commandments 
of men is all in vain for holy living. 

To show how the Lord in the due time showed His 
acceptance of me, I would say that very. early the following 
spring an excresence appeared on one of my fingers. It was 
pronounced by those who claimed to understand such matters 
to be a cancer. I was greatly tempted with fear, because of 
it but could only leave it with the Lord, and painful as it 
might be at times, was ere long enabled most sweetly to 
rest upon the promises, and fully believed that in the Lord's 
own good time I was to be delivered from it. Again and 
again persons have ask-ed with a deal of emphasis, " Why don't 
you have it taken out ? " I would reply, " The cancer as well 
as the finger is the Lord's. I have given it to Him. I can 
do nothing with it only as He may teach me." While 
being thus exercised the call came for me to return to 
the ground where I had been rejected, and take a tent for the 
season. It was to me as again laying down my life, yet 
desiring all the will of the Lord to be wrought in me, I obeyed. 
When the tent was fully ready for occupancy, desiring 
to dedicate it to the Lord as only His, and to be used in the 
work as He would, I took my Bible and waited before Him. 
While Avaiting thus the voice said, '^Inasmuch as you 



FANATICISM. 127 

have obeyed and followed me to this place I am with you in 
blessing." Not understanding it, I said, ^^ Lord, Thou art 
always with me, and in blessing." The reply came, ^' I am 
with you in especial blessing, I am with you in healing." 
Just what this was to mean to me I did not know. Thoughts 
of my finger being entirely taken from me, I concluded that I 
was to have more vitality imparted to me or my lungs 
strengthened. I rejoiced and praised the Lord during the day, 
often saying to myself, " The Lord, thy God, healeth thee ; 
praise His name." The next morning, as I was carefully 
washing the hand lest I disturb the disabled member, the 
voice said, '* Wash your finger, it will not hurt you." I was 
surprised, and looked at it. The appearance was the same, 
but as I pressed it there was no soreness, and I knew that the 
Lord had healed it. Two days after this the finger showed no 
appearance of ever having been diseased, and has never 
troubled me since ; praise His name." 

The Lord seemed determined to make Himself known at 
this place as a wonder-working God. 

A pastor in the M. E. Church resided here, who had for 
many years been a great sufferer from disease or injury of the 
knee-joints. Walking was exceedingly painful, and only per- 
formed by the help of two canes or crutches; he was obliged 
to sit in preaching and unable to perform pastoral duties. 
Surgeons giving him no help or hope of recovery, he naturally 
became interested in what is termed " faith healing," and 
began to seek all the light he could in reference to this 
subject, and Christ, who came to give light to every man, began 
to verify to him the promise, " To him that hath shall 
be given." The word being accepted. He began to work in 
providence. A friend of the brother, a dear sister in the 
Gospel, at this time became burdened in prayer in reference to 
hiS recovery, and sent an urgent request for me to pray about 
it, as she said she "felt the interests of Christ's cause 



128 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

demanded it." I Avas not inclined to give it much thought, 
but to rid myself of responsibility committed the case to the 
Lord and felt I was free. In a little time, however, it 
was returned to me, when I again, more earnestly, laid it over 
on the Lord, sure I was then clear and free from all responsi- 
bility ; but when in a few hours the case again came back and 
a deeper prayer was stirred in my soul I saw that G-od was 
calling me to a co-operation with Him in a work for this, to 
me, stranger. I at once began to believe for his restoration, 
and ere long was enabled in faith to claim the blessing. 
Some two or three days I was held thus, until Lord's day noon, 
when I was told that " the brother had that morning preached 
a very excellent sermon, but in a sitting posture, because of 
his lameness." The Spirit co-operating with word and provi- 
dence at once brought a burden of pity into my soul, and the 
voice said that after tea I was to go and see him, and tell 
him of Christ Jesus as a sure helper. Not knowing where 
he lived, and never having seen him, I supposed it was 
only a test' of obedience. Inquiring the way, accompanied by 
a friend, I went in the direction of his cottage, all the time 
watching for the moment when the Lord should say 
^•enough," and turn me back ; but no, I had to lay down my 
life, and in the strength of Grod call, introduce myself and 
friend, and tell the man that the Lord had sent me to say He 
wanted to heal him. After a little conversation I felt called 
to prayer. On bowing before the Lord I saw I was to lay my 
hands on the disabled limbs, and present them to Him as the 
Healer. As soon as the tips of my fingers rested lightly on 
the knees, I knew the power of Grod had fallen upon him, that 
I had asked according to His will, and had the petition that 
I had desired of Him (1 John 5 : 15). 

In a few moments from the time I entered the cottage I 
was on my way back to my own, revolving in my mind ques- 
tions about '^common sense," ^* fanaticism," etc. G-od had 



FANATICISM. 129 

heard the cry of His afflicted child, and in His own time and 
way had made His salvation known and wrought perfect 
deliverance, and to Him be all the glory. 

One would naturally think that all the ]3rofessed followers 
of Christ would have rejoiced at this manifestation of divine 
power in behalf of our brother, but no ! While many accepted 
it as of Grod, others turned doubtingiy away to coldly criticise 
what they feared was complicity with evil. 

In a preachers' meeting in New York City and through 
the press, one who intellectually stood six " cubits and a span," 
earnestly denounced the work and worker as evil, and only 
evil, using language not befitting a disciple, and most painful 
to receive, by which also many were led to resist this work 
of the Lord. 

The brother may have wrought ignorantly, but he not only 
touched God's anointed, but by his '^ challenge " defied the 
Holy One of Israel, and until he shall humble himself and 
receive the cleansing Christ alone can give, is surely exposed 
to the judgments of God. ^' If we will judge ourselves we will 
not be judged." Kindly, yet in the words of Scripture I 
would say to all, •' Beware therefore, lest that come upon 
you which is spoken in the prophets : Behold ye despisers, 
and wonder and perish, for I will work a work in your days, 
a work which ye shall in no wise believe, if one declare it unto 
you " (Acts 13 : 40, 41). 

Events often teach us that we need to depend upon 
the anointing of the Spirit moment by moment. All who are 
held thus in the power of God will be held in unity oi spirit, 
although we may not always see eye to eye. The command 
is, ''Judge nothing before the time." All that we cannot 
undei'stand or comprehend we can quietly leave with God, and 
He will in His own time and way work out the problem for 
us. If called to rebuke what is not of the Spirit, love will 
enable us to do it in the spirit of meekness, and we can trust 



130 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

the interests of the kingdom with the Infinite One. " Thine 
is the kingdom, and the power." If we fully believe this and 
are fully saved, we shall abide in continual peace with the mind 
stayed on God. 

The Church has a great work before her in contending for 
the faith once delivered to the saints, and wherever it is 
neglected, however sound the creed, or numerous the 
accessions to their numbers, there we see practical skepticism. 
May God help us individually to walk in the light of the 
Spirit, cost what it will. Are we in obedience to His call led 
forth without the camp ? 'Tis but where Jesus went. It is 
His reproach, and a fellowship of His sufferings that we enter 
into. " Happy are ye, for the Spirit of glory and of God 
resteth upon you " (1 Peter 4 : 14). " In " or " out" we " find 
pasture." 

The seed sown thus beside the waters will yield a harvest in 
due time, and is but in answer to the prayer " Thy kingdom 
come." 

The nominal Church tha-t does not measure itself by the 
Gospel standard, may be held in the community as an edu- 
cator, but it has no right to the title of Church and dishonors 
God in assuming it, unless it allows unfoldings of the Spirit, as 
He may come to individual souls in the positions in which He 
has individually placed them. Not that I ignore churches and 
religious teachers; far from it. Even as they were established 
in Apostolic times, so would I have them now, if the presence 
and life of our Lord, as manifested by the Holy Ghost, is the 
one desire and teaching given ; but unless thus, the honor of 
God and the welfare of souls will be enhanced by their being 
depopulated, while the few who would move on in faith, unite 
and build on Christ alone as their foundation. 

In Ecce Homo we find the following: ^' When the power 
of reclaiming the lost dies out of the Church, it ceases to be 
the Church. When the power remains there, whatever is 



FANATICISM. 131 

wanting, it may still be said the tabernacle of Grod is with 
men/' If we live in the Spirit let us also walk in the Spirit 
(Gal. 5 : 25), and go forth to lift up a standard for the people 
(Isa. 62 : 10). This is a work that costs suffering, but we 
must be ever ready to follow whithersoever He goeth or we 
are not worthy the name of disciple. 

It is often said that those holding like views with myself 
are Spiritualists. Is it possible that the Church has so drifted 
from her ancient landmarks that she does not discover our 
bearings or sustain us in our course ? 

Spiritualism, do you say ? Is this Spiritualism ? May God 
then grant us more of it, and may He have mercy on those 
who sit in judgment while satisfied with a religion that con- 
sists in doctrine and sentiment, rather than in living out 
Gospel principles; whose eyes are closed and ears heavy, that 
they do not discern the truth. 

Some have said that many have been made Spiritualists by 
pursuing the course that I am taking- 

Prove this to me and you will prove to my mind that Spirit- 
ualism is of God, for it would be hardly possible for anyone 
to follow the Word as taught by the Spirit more closely than 
I have done according to my capacity and apprehension of 
truth. I did not stipulate with the Lord to make me a Con- 
gregationalist. Baptist, Methodist or Church woman, but to 
help me to be a Bible Christian. As I have followed fully in 
the years past, I know He will enable me to do so for the years 
to come. Jesus has been, and is, my way, truth and life. 
Whatever course keeps me in union with Him must be the 
right one. 

The cry of my soul is : 

" Nearer my God to Thee, nearer to Thee ; 
E'en though it be a cross that raiseth me, 
Still all my song shall be. 
Nearer my God to Thee, nearer to Tliee ! " 



132 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

Nearer, do I say ? How can I be nearer when He fills my 
soul and I dwell in Him ? To me these words ever speak of 
enlarged capacities and deeper union. But, oh ! how many 
in singing them perjure themselves; for even while they fall 
from their lips their faces are turned persistently from the 
cross and are allowing *^ things present" to separate them 
from the love of God in Christ Jesus. 

Needful grace is offered, but they will not take it. " What- 
soever a man soweth, that shall he also reap " (Gal. 6 : 7). 

Let me direct the dear ones who are suffering for the 
truth's sake to 1 Peter, 5 : 7-11. We can well afford to be 
looked upon with suspicion and bear reproach, but we can 
never afford to turn our back upon the cross. May we anew 
gird on the armor and go forth in the true martyr spirit to 
meet and overcome all that would oppose. *' We are made 
partakers of Christ if we hold the beginning of our confi- 
dence steadfast unto the end " (Heb. 3 : 14). 

Let the spirit that is enjoined in 1 Cor. 13 be engrafted 
into our minds and lives, and however sharply we may be 
rebuked, we shall be kept in perfect purity and all will be but 
a help into the resurrection life. • '' Giving thanks always for 
all things " our peace flows like a river, and we go on from 
conquering to conquer, until glory shall end what grace 
began. 

It still remains a true saying, ''The blood of the martyrs is 
the seed of the Church." God alone knows the hurt it gives 
the sensitive soul thus to be ostracised, but His pity is ever 
toward those that fear Him and He will show them His 
covenant. 

In warning to those who oppose, let Anne of Austria 
speak : "My Lord Cardinal, God does not pay at the end of 
every week, but at the last He pays." To the followers of 
Jesus, we, too, would say: "At last He pays." The time has 
come that '^ judgment must begin at the house of God." 



FANATICISM. 133 

There is only one way of safety, and that is, abiding in 
Christ. ^' Walk in the Spirit." If opposed in this, G-od 
grant that we may ever pray, ^-^ Father, forgive them, for they 
know not what they do." 

" I asked the Lord! that I might grow- 
In faith, and love, and every grace; 
Might more of His salvation know, 
And seek more earnestly His face. 

'Twas He that taught me thus to pray, 
And He, I trust, has answer' d prayer; 
But it has been in such a way, 
As almost drove me to despair. 

I hoped that in some favored hour, 
At once He'd answer my request, 
And by His love's constraining power 
Subdue my sins, and give me rest. 

Instead of this, He made me feel 
The hidden evils of my heart. 
And let the angry powers of hell 
Assault my soul in every part. 

Yea, more, with His own hand. He seemed 
Intent to aggravate my woe ; 
Cross'd all the fair designs I schemed — 
Blasted my hopes and laid me low. 

' Lord why is this ? ' I trembling cried, 
' Wilt Thou pursue thy worm to death V 
' 'Tis in this way,' the Lord I'eplied, 
' I answer prayer for grace and faith.' 

' These inward trials I employ, 
From self and pride to set thee free; 
And break thy schemes of earthly joy 
That thou may'st find thy all in Me.' " 



134 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 



CHAPTEE XI. 

A SAVIOUR FOR ALL. 

''Suffer little children, and forbid them not to come unto Me.— (Matt. 
19: 14.) 

Some may say that the position I claim for the Christian is 
well for those in mature years, but that it is not a healthful 
or practical life for all. The young and those who are buoy- 
ant in life would have their joys and their youth lost to 
them. Did not God call all these into being for Himself? 
Does anyone claim that the better portion of life shall be 
given to self and pleasure and reserve the wasted energies for 
God, forgetting that this life is solely one of development for 
the eternal world, and our position there to be determined by 
the life here? True, we often, too often, see this, but is 
not God robbed of His own? Christ has laid down general 
principles of action, including every possible rule of conduct 
both for young and old, and can one commence too early in 
life to apply these and become molded by them ? It is claimed 
that character is generally determined in the first seven years 
of life ; if so, is there not the utmost need that the Christ 
life, with its principles, be then inculcated? Do we rightly 
view the real need when we neglect to press these upon chil- 
dren even, as the one aim in life. 

Christ had a childhood as well as manhood, and those who 
enter with Him into the first will be stronger for the second. 
But one says, '^ It will make old folks of them; children must 
be children." The first assertion I disclaim ; to the second 
I heartily say. Yes, in the love and holy fear of God, let us 



A SAVIOUR FOR ALL. 135 

do all we can to develop a full and healthy childhood and help 
the little ones early to learn that happiness does not consist 
in gaining for one's self the things of earth, but is found 'Mn 
losing one's self to possess another." Their best affections 
will readily center in God, when they learn that He is inter- 
ested in all we do, and seeing those who are older " do all 
heartily as unto the Lord," they, imitators as they are, will 
easily catch the inspiration and find great delight in living 
foi Jesus, and will early in life learn to make Him their all 
in all. 

This fact was illustrated to me a few days since by a little 
friend of seven years, who was with me for a time, whom we 
call " Sunbeam." She seems to live in the light of the Lord 
and brings sunshine to all our hearts. She has been taught 
and led in the way of faith, and it is her habit to go to Jesus 
when she has special needs, and she believes that He will 
help her, and He does most wondrously. The eye is not on 
the asking, but on the living God. For instance, but two 
days since, in coming in from play, her overshoes, being soiled, 
were left on the piazza; later in the day she went for them 
and found they had been taken. Ail search for them was 
unavailing. Knowing that some reputed thieves had been 
seen on the premises, and near the door, we all thought they 
had been stolen. On retiring at night Sunbeam said, 
" Mamma, I am going to ask Jesus to bring back my shoes." 
In the morning again, " Mamma, I did ask Jesus to bring my 
shoes back to me; " a few hours after this the mother went to the 
door and there were the lost articles. We have since learned 
that they had been taken from the premises by the individual 
above named, but the Lord called them back in answer to 
prayer. Jesus loves to have little children come to Him, but 
they need to be taught, and He will claim the teaching at 
our hands. Children have a work to do and they love it. 
May not our work for them be to assist and guide them in 



136 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

their play-work, thus to bring out all their energies and facul- 
ties of soul and body that they may be developed for God. 
Thus " their lives will be kept parallel with His own thought 
in their creation/' and they and ourselves will have gathered 
lovingly by the way of the fruits of righteousness. 

In 18 — , G-od, in His providence, called me for a time to 
care for some little ones. I took the service as from Him, 
and performed it as unto Him. My one aim was to have 
Jesus enthroned in their hearts, there to be a governing prin- 
ciple. To this end, I strove to encourage them to do all 
things with reference to His pleasure. Never to go to the 
playground without Him; I would tell them that in so doing 
they might expect to run faster, throw the ball better and 
halloo in clearer tones than those who knew not the Lord, for 
they had Jesus to help them in all that was good, and not 
only this, but they would be kept in good humor and conse- 
quently happy. They readily accepted the teaching and often 
wrought earnestly to the overcoming of evil habits, and 
knowing the better way, would do for themselves rather than 
have others do for them. Their hearts at times seemed to be 
filled with the gladness of the Lord. Often, when they were 
on the lawn at play, I would speak from the window and say, 
" Is Jesus with you ? " and I still seem to hear the clear ring 
of their voices, "Yes, ma'am! " You, who are afraid of too 
much religion, would have seen that true religion does not 
make one moping and lifeless ; on the contrary, it enlivens 
and enables one to make the most of life. 

I will relate an experience I had while there, pleasing to me 
as a proof of the fellowship of the Spirit with those so young. 
One morning, as I sat at my work, our little girl of six years 
left her play out of doors and came to my room. As she 
waited about me, I saw that something was on her mind of 
which she would speak. After a little time, leaning against 
me, she said, " Auntie ! " I said, " What is it, dear ? " Hesi- 



A SAVIOUR FOE ALL. 137 

tating again she shyly asked, ''When you pray alone, do you 
begin right away?" Catching her thought, I said, ''Not 
always, sometimes I do, and then again I just bow down and 
wait a little to see that nothing comes between the Lord and 
me, and that He is listening, and then I pray." The little 
thing, all enthusiasm, broke in upon my words with, " Yes, 
that's just what I do ; I feel as if I must wait a minute, and 
then it seems as if Jesus came right to me, and I can talk with 
Him, but I didn't know whether that was the way or not." 
" Of such is the kingdom or heaven." 

I was at another time in a family where there was a little 
girl of four years who readily caught the idea of striving to 
please Jesus in all she did ; it seemed to be just the stimulus 
she needed to help her. She delighted to put her playthings 
in order when she was not going to use them any longer, and 
to arrange her clothes at night in the loving fear of Jesus, so 
that He would love to look upon them. She would run to 
pick up threads from the carpet, keep the chairs and books in 
order that the room might be kept tidy for Jesus, for it was 
His room — (thus g<=tting an idea of consecration) — would 
cheerfully give up her pleasures, if called to do so, feeling that 
she thus pleased Him. Thus she soon learned to watch, and 
to desire His blessed will in all things, and to know how He 
would do, if a little child like herself, keeping the character of 
our Lord before her, she became better acquainted with Him 
and learned to appropriate His grace. She was naturally a 
passionate little thing, but the ill temper seemed wholly gone, 
and she was often manifestly guided by the Spirit — His 
promise reaches unto babes. She kept the commandments, 
and He was given to " abide," and she Avas one of the happiest 
children I ever saw. 

I find that older children love to take the work appropriate 
to them in like manner, and when I meet those of still larger 
10 



138 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

growth, they often acknowledge this to be the right way and 
their desire, but say, ^^ Folks don't do so now." Why do they 
not do so, I ask, is it not skepticism and fear of the people ? 
"What will folks think?" Kemember, God says, '^Thou 
shalt have no other gods before Me " (Ex. 20 : 3 ; Matt. 4 : 10). 

Dear one, do you believe you are called to be separated from 
the world in your walk with God ? Then press on in the 
appointed way, fear none of these things which you must 
suffer (Matt, 10: 16-42). 

The Great Exemplar has gone before us and marked our 
way; if we are not ready to walk in it, let us not claim His 
salvation. 

The principles lived out by the mass of professing Christians 
lead the young into all the frivolitires of life, and none can 
thus retain pure and undefiled religion before God, or rest in 
the promises. I cannot see where in the Scriptures there is 
an assurance of salvation to such — young or old. 

They naturally, and almost necessarily, look to older Chris- 
tians for teaching ; not the teaching given in words, but in 
the life. One's spiritual life is likely to become the standard 
of those whom one most influences. One's life, not his 
theories, is repeated in other lives. Who can tell the influ- 
ence of the '' single eye" ? 

When the young are made to see that all depends upon the 
Christ life being established within, there to guide and govern 
their judgment, they not having become hardened by resisting 
the light, would approve and most heartily enter into the way, 
were it not so filled by the half-consecrated, and, I may add, 
half-hearted professors. Many a dear one, I doubt not, has 
been wrecked for time and for eternity, because of this. Who 
is responsible for their souls ? Let each one of us see to it 
that we are clear before God in this matter. We can only be 
so when living in the fellowship of the Holy Ghost; it is then 



A SAVIOUR FOR ALL. 139 

the child can be trained in the way he should go, life-giving 
streams will flow forth to help and keep him in that way, 
and we may claim his salvation through Christ. 

" Only a word for the Master, 
L(tvingly, quietly said. 
Only a word ! 
Yet the Master heard, 
And some fainting hearts were fed. 

Only a look of remonstrance, 
Sorrowful, gentle, and deep. 
Only a look ! 

Yet the strong man shook, 
And he went alone to weep. 

Only some act of devotion. 
Willingly, joyfully done. 

' Surely 'twas nought ! ' 

(So the proud world thought,) 
But yet souls for Christ were won ! 

Only an hour with the children, 
Pleasantly, cheerfully given. 

Yet seed was sown 

In that hour alone 
Which would bring forth fruit for heaven ! 

' Only,' — But Jesus is looking 
Constantly, tenderly down 

To earth, and sees 

Those who strive to please ; 
And their love He loves to crown." 



140 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 



CHAPTEE XII. 

ALWAYS MORE TO FOLLOW. 

" For since the beginning of the world, men have not heard what 

He hath prepared for them that waiteth for Him."— (Isa. 64 : 4.) 

As I passed on in the new life I learned that the various 
experiences given were often, not only for myself, but also for 
the benefit of others, and that in order more readily to meet 
such, I was to have a home, established on faith principles. 
When and where this home was to be I knew not. I owned 
a small vacant lot at a sea-side watering-place, but there were 
apparently insurmountable obstacles to going there, and I 
could only wait the will of God. The Spirit would at times 
come upon me in reference to the matter ; I would then with 
earnest, believing wrestling, take hold on God and enter into 
rest. Thus year after year passed, until in the spring of ... . 
I was called to go to this place. Why go, I knew not, but 
go I must. As I followed on, I learned more fully the mind 
of God, and saw the time for building had come. Arriving at 
the place I accepted the invitation of some friends to remain 
with them while there, and waited for clearer light, but 
instead of light came darkness, and God seemed deaf to my 
cries in regard to the whole thing. Thus days passed on, and 
not understanding the way of the Lord, I became greatly bur- 
dened. At this time there was a very estimable Christian lady 
in the house, who was very low from nervous prostration and 
insanity. One night the Voice said to me, '' These people 
profess to have forsaken all for the Lord, and yet, when sick, 
turn to an earthly physician, as the people of the world do. " 



ALWAYS MORE TO FOLLOW. 141 

I at once saw the condition of affairs, but had no indication 
that I had anything to do, until two days after when the 
daughter, almost in despair, spoke of the grief and of the pros- 
tration that was coming upon them all, and that it seemed 
impossible to continue longer thus. Before I was aware of it 
I was chiding her for her unbelief, and telling her she had no 
right to expect it to be otherwise so long as she looked not 
to the Lord alone for help. She confessed that she knew not 
the way of faith for this, but would be glad if I would take 
the case on that basis. I said I could accept it only on one 
condition, that she should have a full understanding with the 
physician, and that all in the house should stand by me. She 
gladly took the step, and with the other dear ones, did all in 
her power to open the way for the Lord of glory to enter in. 
The case was committed to the Lord on Sabbath by prayer 
and anointing with oil (Jas. v : 14, 15), and from that hour 
a change was manifested. On Wednesday night, while we 
were in united prayer for her, the witness of the Spirit was 
given that she had the healing. On Thursday morning she 
seemed to have lost all she had gained, and to the natural 
eye there was no hope ; but abiding in the teachings given 
(see 1 John 2 : 27) three of us claimed present and full vic- 
tory, and, blessed be G-od, it came, and she awoke as from a 
horrible dream, dressed, went down to dinner and helped to 
serve the food at the table. On Sabbath she went to an expe- 
rience meeting and testified that she was every whit made 
whole. When this was done the Spirit of the Lord came upon 
me and said, *' Here are your credentials, go on and build." 

I moved on, step by step, as the way opened. Unexpectedly 
the plan of the house was, as a picture, presented before my 
mind. Giving it to the builder as from the Lord, I instructed 
him to do all things concerning it, according to the pattern 
given in the Mount ; to use what money I had in hand and 



142 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

then close up until further orders, as not a dollar of debt 
might be incurred. 

If the Lord was to build the house, He had means from 
which to draw, when the fullness of time should come. If it 
was I, who had undertaken the work, it would be time for it 
to cease. As soon as it was known that the house was being 
built, sums of money, large and small, came in from various 
sources; so that when the work was completed, the amount I 
had begun with had more than doubled, allowing me to meet 
all expenses, and have fifty dollars in hand ; yet I had given 
no hint of my needs, and only a very few private friends knew 
of my circumstances. 

Before the house was finished, the Spirit gave me a view of 
the empty rooms, and the thought, "■ What are all these with- 
out furniture ?" I said, *^ What, Lord ! must I have faith for 
all this ? " A crushing weight was on me for a moment and 
then came the word so gently : " Be quiet ! as I have built the 
house, so will I furnish it." Soon after this, articles of furni- 
ture began to be sent in, and in some cases, entire rooms were 
provided for, so that it was not long ere the house was opened 
for guests. In June, 1881, with rooms well filled, and appro- 
priate services, the house was formally dedicated to God. 

By this, I do not mean to say that He had a lease of it dur- 
ing my natural life, and after that it would be controlled by 
my legal heirs, but from that hour, so long as there is any 
property left, it is all to be used as He by His Spirit may 
dictate. 

Do you ask, What is the work of the house ? In answer, I 
would say, just what God in the present hour appoints. We 
endeavor, so far as possible with our feeble powers, to do what 
the Lord Jesus would do, if in our place. This work touches 
soul, body and spirit. Skeptics have been made to see the 
Light of Life, souls have been saved, wanderers reclaimed, and 
many, very many have entered into spiritual liberty. Many 



ALWAYS MOKE TO FOLLOW. 143 

Christian workers have gone forth better fitted for the work 
before them. Physical healing is claimed and sought as one 
of the benefits of the atonement, yet the especial teaching of 
the house is Union with Grod. Our preferences, our lives, lost 
in His. The Lord alone determines who is to be received as 
guests. Eequests for admission are laid before Him, and if it 
is shown that it is in His order to receive them, they are wel- 
comed and cared for as His guests ; no compensation being 
made or allowed. Each one is free to give to His work, or ad 
free to withhold from giving. Grod has markedly protected 
us from imposters, and of the many who have been entertained, 
only two or tliree have seemed to be out of place, and even 
they had their service. 

The work has been well sustained ; some of the guests giv- 
ing liberally, thus making it possible to do for those less 
favored with the good things of this life. God has also in- 
clined the hearts of many dear ones to co-operate in the work, 
who have not participated in the benefits of the Home. His 
blessing be upon all ! The work is purely of God ; to Him 
be all, all the glory ! 

As we live out the prayer, " Thy will be done on earth as 
in heaven," we find that we must forsake all, all for Jesus, and 
yet in His own time and way, the ^'hundred-fold" comes in 
and we are learning to know the Lord. Going forth at the 
call of God in simple dependence upon Him, as the early 
Christians did, we all may expect the Spirit's power to accom- 
pany our labors, and not only this, but a constant reminder of 
our need helps to keep us low before Him. The continual 
manifestation of His grace as we live thus, enables us to know 
God as our Father, and the joy of the Lord springing up in 
us, becomes our strength. Seeking first the kingdom of 
heaven and His righteousness, all need must be supplied, for 
He has promised. Seeds of eternal truth and life are thus 
sown broadcast over the land and in the great harvest the 



144 STEPPINGS IN GOD. 

hundred-fold is again made to appear in rich fruits garnered 
for God. 

Let no one receiving a salary or income feel that they are 
exempt from these privileges. All they have being used as 
the Lord's and as He in the soul may indicate, you too are 
brought into the faith life, and sower and reaper shall rejoice 
together. 

When the Lord called me to invest what money I had in a 
faith-work, it seemed as if I must soon come to want — but 
obedience was all that I could know. As a testimony to the 
faithfulness of our God let me say that He has done beyond 
all I could have asked or even thought. Although I have had 
to lay aside many fancied wants, and at times seeming needs 
pressed in upon me, yet in the retrospect I can clearly see a 
real "good'' has never been withholden. Many times has 
help in some emergency come to me and I would seem to hear 
the dear Master's voice, '^ Lacked ye anything ?" and my whole 
soul has responded, " Nothing Lord I — dear Lord Jesus ! " 

The poor as well as the rich — believers and unbelievers have 
been called to co-operate with Him in this work. Sometimes 
coming to me when I was under greatest pressure, but they 
knew it not. In the last great day each will see that he has 
not labored in vain. Giving as we may, of ourselves, or our 
means, we can only say, " Of Thine own have we given Thee " 
(1 Ohron. 29 : 14). 

For over twenty-five years I have striven to live out the 
principles given for the Bible Christian, as apprehended and 
herein related. When I started in the way, like the Israelites, 
I only knew the " I Am." What He is besides, I am learning 
day by day, as the way opens. I now see God's far-reaching 
wisdom, in commanding us to perform all our duties as unto 
Him. He sees that our affections would rest where we vol- 
untarily give ourselves in service. Therefore this one great 
command. He knew that by placing Himself as the center, 



ALWAYS MORE TO FOLLOW. 145 

our affections would be drawn from self, friends, and tlie world, 
and we should meet all, only as we could meet them in Him. 
Salvation and grace are offered to all freely, without money, 
and without price, but only they who appropriate them, realize 
their benefits. Once more let me entreat all to ^* Taste and 
see that the Lord is good." " Blessed are all they that put 
their trust in Him "' (Psa. 2 : 13 ; 34 : 8). 

Worthy is the Lamb that was slain to receive power, and 

riches, and wisdom, and strength, and honor, and glory, and 

blessing" (Rev. 5 : 12). Yes, worthy, and 

When Christ who is our life 

shall appear, then shall 

we also appear 

with Him 

in 

GLORY. 

"Let us learn a useful lesson— no braver lesson can be — 
From the ways of the tapestry weavers on the other side of the sea. 
Above their heads the pattern hangs, they study it with care, 
And, as to and fro the shuttle leaps, their eyes are fastened there. 

They tell this curious thing beside, of the patient, plodding weaver ; 
He works on the wrong side evermore, but works for the right side ever. 
It is only when the weaving stops, and the web is loosed and turned, 
That he sees his real handiwork; that his marvellous skill is learned. 

Ah ! the sight of its delicate beauty, it pays him for all his cost ; 

No rarer, daintier work than his was ever done by the frost ! 

Then the master bringeth him golden hire, and giveth him praise as well, 

And how happy the heart of the weaver is, no tongue but his own can tell. " 

11 



